I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwa...

Just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread

MrsC - my inlaws spent most of the first few years of our relationship moaning that I didn't say hello and goodbye properly and was therefore rude.

Thing is, they don't allow it to be done in passing, because they are soooooooo important it has to be a big ceremony where I have to say hello to each of them individually (MIL, FIL and BIL) and I find it utterly excruciating. FIL is getting hard of hearing too so I often have to say hello numerous times before he hears me and he has already made a sarcastic comment. It has really soured our relationship.

(now wondering whether it is my place to thank..... but wanted to show appreciation!)

Jamie, that thingy you said was v wise. I did think you meant scared of meeting such an odd bunch

I love the internet for that very reason, MMB. I'm a much better version of myself online. Oh, to have a preview function in RL...

hairymelons - oh yes, a preview function in RL would be lovely, rather than 'oh shit, did I just say that' function that I actually suffer.

aw thanks for the thanks

cos I am actually here just readuing, not knowing what to say cos you all seem to know each other so I am shrinking back.

I kid you not ha ha
very fitting lol

Ooh can I join? I am actually semi alright at inane playground natter, it's moving beyond that and actually making friends I'm crap at. The one other Mum I have gotten to know is a very mememe boastfull type who goes off on monologues about boring things/never asks questions/tries to big herself up at every opportunity.

I think I might take the asking questions and listening thing too far, hence only attracting the self obsessed types. I am genuinely interestedin other people though, shame no-one seems to reciprocate .

I want to join but I know you would all hate me because everybody does and I know I shouldn't really have had DS because I am socially clumsy and he needs someone to sort of teach him how to socialise and be sufficently together that he can hold a conversation with another human being without thinking "You are being a total idiot" and so I think I was wrong having him because how can I show him an example when I don't have any friends and every toddlers' group I want to crawl behind the playhouse and just die there but if I never went there again at least I wouldn't have the torture of thinking I'm the worst bore ever and the other mums probably wish I would just stay away.

Or something.

Therapy required I think.
Sorry to blunder into your thread. See, I don't even get edging into a thread right. Do you want some cheese with that whine?

There seems to be alot of awkward people in manchester
Why can't there be any where im from? At least then i wouldn't feel like the only looser running around the city.

< bounces up full of false jollity and starts talking over the already-established group >

Oh yes, I suffer with this also. Think I'm socially phobic.
The worst thing I find is parties - not so much going to them although that's bad enough - it's the prospect of throwing my own or even having people round for supper.
DH's 50th birthday is 2 years away and it's been hanging over me since his 40th (couldn't have a party then as it fell on my due date for DS2 - can't pull that stunt again!). He's determined to celebrate properly but I just want to curl up and die at the ghastly thought of it (I left my own wedding reception in tears, to put this into context.)
I like Hully's advice re names - have long thought mine made me look a bit downtrodden.

LaserWindow, ditto. It was v selfish of me to have children because with me as a mother they will grow up to feel embarassed and awkward and will most likely be bullied at school because they will be frightened, victim types. I only feel like that about it on bad days but it is a niggling worry.

And MumofTrio, only a few of us have met. And it was awful, everyone stood around, staring at their feet, blurting out inappropriate things then returning to awkward silence...

So back to you, nice one for starting the thread. Do you like cheese?

ourlady Your post really struck a cord with me. I felt like an outsider on my own wedding day. Everyone was having such a good time and at one stage I was sitting there on my own - who has ever seen a bride ignored at her own wedding?

I actually left the party and went and sat in our room for a while and nobody noticed - it took a lot for me to walk back in.

I think my problem is I can't switch my brain off enough to relax in any situation. Alcohol never seemed to help.

My sisters joke I am like Monica in Friends with her motto 'rules are there to control the fun' because god forbed anyone would have too much fun.

I know what you mean about feeling guilty - I've felt that too, but my three, although I think they are naturally shy by nature, seem to cope, and to have nice friends which helps.
Also they've never had the constant 'oh, she's shy' refrain I had, which only entrenched habits.
I always do the 'switching on' thing if anyone does speak to me in the playground, going instantly from tense-faced silent mode to stand-up comedian 'I'm only on my own 'cos I choose to be' mode, so people find me weird I'm sure.

< takes two steps away from the group and falls silent again as other, chattier people have turned up >

I think we are all a bit nutty - loving it

This is OurLady, btw.
Oh, Suiledonne, I thought I was the only person whose wedding day felt like an endurance test.
I became aware when I first had my DCs (15 years ago) that I felt invisible, and realised this had always coloured my behaviour - a weird mix of wanting to disappear but feeling really upset and at times depressed at being overlooked.
My family behaved appallingly, as if they'd conspired to show me up, and my mum had a go afterwards that I hadn't gone around the tables circulating; I just felt as if I was of such small significance in their eyes they couldn't give a shit about behaving themselves for my sake and just got pie-eyed, same as they did every bloody weekend (bitter).
I do think shyness does kind of render you invisible, though - lack of presence, I suppose.

Can I join too, am both socially awkward because I don't know what to say or socially awkward because I can often end up saying too much and far too quickly - either way mostly it feels like no-one is interested in me or wants to talk to me.

Have tried the 'small talk' approach so many times with people I don't know very well, asking them questions about themselves but very often they don't ask me the same kinf of stuff back so it ends up being a very one-sided conversation.

My dh is the complete opposite from me so hopefully my kids will be more like him than me in this respect.

Am trying to stop worrying about being like this and just get on with my life being me but sometimes it gets me down alot.

I hope this thread carries on, it's been illuminating to know there are Others - but I have to go to bed now. 'Night all.

Presence! That's what I lack.

People seem to like me well enough but I don't make an impression - no-one seeks me out. I rarely get phonecalls. No-one just has to see me.

No-one has ever thrown me a surprise party, bought me a wonderful, well thought out present.

I am a bit blah I suppose.

Hello, My name is KickArseQueen, I'm fairly stupid on here but in RL I'm a blurter! I get stressed in social situations, and certain people even people I really like make me incredibly nervous. Everyone thinks I'm incredibly confident if a bit bats, and half the time thats true - the rest of the time I'm crapping myself and being socially awkward.

I love MN and its actually helped me in RL a bit reading all the conversations on here, its a bit like a training course in social discourse. Sometimes I wonder what "label" would have been slapped on me if I was going through the school system now!

Hey ho! Never mind, Nice to meet you all tho!

I think MN has helped me too

It has given me a better library of chit-chat, the current affairs that are constantly discussed on here crystallises my thoughts so I express them better in RL, IYSWIM

My social confidence is definitley a bit better, which s kinda odd 'cos this is a faceless, anonymous forum

Except when you meet...HairyMelons, were you serious when you said our Manchester was awful ? I didn't get that feeling at all...

Thank goodness its not just me! I don't know about anyone else, but I go red so easily, especially when people I don't know say 'what do you do? what does your husband do? etc'. Gahhhh! I hate it! I do colour slightly less when I have had a glass or two of something, but then I just talk a load of crap and embarrass myself in that way instead.

I have made you a cake

Woohoo!!!! We're having a party.

Have some cake everyone.

Thanks Sal . That really was a lovely surprise.

< hangs around the kitchen making the hostess feel obliged to chat to her every time she comes through