I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

I've ended up turning it into a virtue...so at work I ofeten get comments like "only you would get away with saying that" and I am now the female eccentric, which I don't mind. However, that has taken me 20 years.

I am still regularly cocking up the meeting other mums at school as I onlt have 2 years experience. So I've joined the PTA committee so people will get used to me.

DD luckily seems to be more socially with it, so I expect it will end up "lovely DD, shame about her mum"!!!

Lunatic, if they noticed it at all (I know they looked round, but they probably didn't think ooh that was a bit loud) they'd have forgotten it a second later.

What is the last example you can think of of someone else you know being a bit socially awkward?

Because I can think of instances where someone said something that made me uncomfortable, or seemed rude, or where someone's reaction made me feel rejected - you know, like you say something as a social overture and they kind of smile and shrug and turn away - but I cannot honestly remember the last time someone else did something that struck me as socially awkward in the ways you are describing.

In fact, I'm going to extend that question to all of you. When was the last time one of your colleagues/friends/peers/other mums at the gate did something that made you wince for them? And if you do remember a time, what did you actually feel about it?

I'm in if thats ok I have no social skills at all according to a friend I make myself very difficult to be heard as I mumble and don't look people in the eye.

I think lots of people think I am a bit snobby but I'm not I am just madly trying to think of something to say.

It dosen't help that I have two beautiful confident happy sisters and I am very much the drudgy poor sister.

I know I come across as snobby and stuck-up...it is actually the opposite

It has been like this all my life...I struggled in the playground even to find common ground with peers

My poor dd2 is the same as me also.

All the others will talk to anyone and don't have a trace of shyness.

Thankfully, my two dc are sociable and don't seem to have inherited my shyness and "out-there-ness"

They are like their dad, thankfully

I'm not shy at all but am expert at putting my foot in it, offending people and saying the wrong thing.

I can't be arsed talking nonsense with some people (not shyness, it's just that they are boring) so I can come across as aloof/distant too.
The in crowd talk a load of crap at times - don't feel like you're missing out becasue you're not.

I wish I wish I was shyer. My dh cringes when I talk to strangers and old ladies but I'm just trying to be friendly and nice.

Practice talking to strangers - old ladies love a good old moan and a talk about the old days!

Hello, can I join?

I'm not sure if I've become inept over the years, or if I'm just not bothered anymore about the impression I make. A mixture of both, I think. Lately I've become aware that I'm either trying much too hard to be sociable, or I just clam up completely.

For all of you feeling out of place at the school gates can I say that it might not be anything to do with you. I've done the same toddler groups/nursery/primary school with all 3 of my children and the groups of mums, dads and carers has been different each time. With ds1, everyone was so friendly and accepting regardless of whether or not our dcs were particular friends etc. With dd there were a couple of cliques but on the whole the mums seemed to group up alongside their dcs, which is understandable because those are the people you see more of out of school. With ds2, however, they are a really surly, unfriendly lot and if they speak at all, it is to criticise the school/the teacher/other parents.

It takes time to find your niche in these groups. Or you could save your wit and erudition for those who will appreciate it.

BTW Hully love your breasts are they your own ?

BTW love your breasts was not an order. [very much a member of socially awkward club]

I'm in

I struggle with knowing when someone is joking and when they're being serious.

I HATE approaching a group thats is already chatting, going to a party that is underway...that sort of thing. I spend a lot of time standing on my own outside school.

Origami, I borrowed my breasts, but thank you anyway, they are rather lovely.

hully - I love that blue dress you are wearing

This thread is making me think. I tend to be of the view that I'll like anyone who is friendly, regardless of any twatty thing they might say. But I guess that has made me a bit about people who are just shy, and so may appear unfriendly.....

TreeTrunk - I dislike parties, and especially throwing parties. I am very glad that now I am grown up I have the excuse of just leaving anywhere when I've had as much enjoyment as I'm going to get. I found most Uni parties excruciating

I hate parties too, never enjoyed them and always seem to end up in a room by myself or just kind of hovering in a corner (not literally).
When i got pregnant i was delighted to have an excuse not to go, or to leave early. DD is born now though and i know at some point i will have to go out and socialise again
I think a support thread is a great idea..it will at least let all the socially awkward (ie me) join a regular thread, seeing as we are jo akward to join any others

But Hot - I think one of the joys of MN is that you can be who you want to be. You don't sound in the least bit SA to me. Join in! And look at AnyFucker - never would have guessed she considers herself AS - she is a valued contributer.

< Jamie is actually a hairy-arsed trucker >

Sometimes I'm just a bit fucking useless at this social stuff - I'm a bit marmite/intense - so people tend to love me or pity loathe me. I don't mean intense in a pouring out my life story to strangers way, just in a tendency towards the deadly serious sort of way. To be fair sometimes I can't be arsed to make vast amounts of effort. I've improved a bit with age - not massively - even on here I can be a bit of a po-faced earnest cow really.

TreeTrunkThighs, I sometimes make jokes that no-one gets

Something I find hard is "social smiles". People say they will make friends with someone who smiles at them, but how can a deliberate smile be natural? It seems everyone is making fake smiles at each other and it just all looks, well, fake

Can I join the club please? Have been feeling down all weekend about my crap social skills after a pathetic wallflower performance at twins group on Friday.

Can I join?

Don't know what else to say now...

TotalChoas - me too!

Am very earnest, always follow rules, kind and thoughtful, but not much fun Wish I could be lively and smiley, I never seem to 'get' jokes, I'm just intense and boring.

I dread parties, meeting new people TBH.

Does anyone else feel really awkward talking to people to whom you haven't been formally introduced?

I always feel like a twat striking up a conversation and then having to add lamely, "oh, by the way, I'm a tool MrsC."

I have actually stood in someone's presence for a good 20 minutes while they chatted to a mutual friend, not saying a word because we hadn't been introduced.

If only it were 200 years ago. There were strict rules about meeting people, and if you were awkward around strangers, you could always count on the rules to fall back on.

See I naturally smile when I'm nervous-can't help it. I tend to think that if I can't think of anything to say at least if I smile they'll think I'm nice and not a miserable cow.
I also have one of those faces that gets a lot of "cheer up, it might never happen" comments.
And I do that joking but nobody gets it thing. Sometimes people seem to think if you're quiet that must mean you're a very serious person and therefore incapable of humour. Its either that or I've just got a very warped sense of humour .