I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

Hassled - you're right. When I was seventeen I would not / could not talk to anyone and dealt with social situations by drinking myself silly. I'm not quite that bad any more.

I'm going to bed now. Thanks for the masterclass Hully. Looking forward to learning more! I will be brave and post on this thread again tomorrow.

I will become socially adept!

i am crap, especially in groups and especially with people i don't know well
what i do is tend to monopolise the one person i know best and probably really piss them off and bore them
i also interrupt because i don't listen properly - ironically the more i like a person the more i interrupt, because i have loads i want to say to them
if i decide i don't like a person much i can't stand chatting with them
i am rubbish at small talk
and if i feel uncomfortable i am very boring and serious i think

parties are the worst
i never never never know if what i am saying or doing is ok, so i spend the whole time fretting and talking crap in an over jolly way
when i feel at ease everything is fine - and no-one would realise i feel shy and awkward i don't think, as i brazen it out
but i hate it

I'm like this too. I really like people and am interested but don't seem to have the basic skills like how to join in to an existing conversation politely - I seem to wait for ages to say something and then no one seems to notice/hear me.
Or else blurt out something too soon and cut someone off.

I realised at toddler group a few weeks ago that although I really make an effort to be friendly and chat to people no-one ever approaches me.

I am very forgettable too. I don't really make an impression.

I'm good with young children though and they seem to respond well to me.

Strangely, Jamie, I'm actually more confident since having DS though it doesn't stop me feeling inept and awkward in social situations. I do feel judged if he so much as squeaks in public though.

I agree Hassled

When my dc were little, the extraordinarily marveloous nursery they went to organised a mums/dads/whoever meet up so that they could get to know each other. It was was great (and I soon realised everyone felt odd/shy etc).

The current school does drinks/suppers which work really well too.

Or there is the PTA/Friends which gives a focus and a subject to talk about. Try those.

If none of those things exists, suggest them to the head.

I must also to bed. Nice talking to you ladies.

And, shy people, all the old adages are true eg focus on the other person. If your time is spent worrying about how you sound/look, whether anyone is speaking to/listening to/ approaching you, whether you count, who likes you etc. Sod all that, force yourself to find others fascinating and the rest really will follow.

It all takes practice.

Jamie - loving 'grumpy in repose'. I might have to commandeer that one. My DH is less flattering, describing me as 'a bit miserable looking'.

I get 'cheer up love, it'll never happen' comments. I feel like screaming - I'm not miserable - this is my face when I'm not smiling.

Please could I join too? I am sooo socially awkward and inept that my colleagues honestly do think that I am probably stuffed and mounted (and not in the good way! )

When my admittedlybastard-- boss asks a question and demands a quick answer I just rosy up, stutter and say something utterly lame. My job unfortunately demands that I do have to occasionally speak out which have to do but spend some time hours agonising and sweating about it.

I have to say a short something about a conference in front of my colleagues tomorrow - all 40 of them - and it will be stutter, ummm, red up time, say something lame and end up squeaky voiced. Crap on crap. (but pma it will go ok, tra la la la la)

Oh for student days when a bottle of vodka would solve this problem (but, I suppose, create many, many more )
I'm so glad it's not just me, at least.
And now I'm off to bed.

suiledonne - I agree - I am always standing on the edge of a conversation looking awkward because I can never find the right moment to join in.

Hully - the school / nursery do meet ups. I know there's a nursery mum's night out soon as one of the other mums mentioned it last time I saw her but I haven't been invited. I am not taking this personally as I don't do the nursery run so am not available to be invited.

Anyway, off to bed.

MissMarjoribanks, on a daily basis, my DH will say 'what's the matter/what have I done/what's happened to upset you?', to which my default response is 'nothing, why on earth would you think anything was the matter'. Honestly, DH, IT'S JUST MY FACE!
And now I'm really going to bed.

no not preg

for a change

Ooo can I join please, It's not too late?
I'm socially awkward inept.

Unfortunately I've inherited my father's stern miserable face (so told by my sister) and even at work it is commented upon (always asked to smile) Which makes me
I can also be abrupt as it takes me a while to get used to people - unless, of course I've had vodka.

happy to join, nice to see there's so many of us. All sounds very familiar. Wherever I go, there always seems to be an 'in-crowd' and I'm never in it.

Can I join too. I am socially awkward personified. Never know what to say or where to put myself, and always on the outside looking in. Plus I have a habit of completely putting my foot in it and accidentally insulting people.

mountain monkey - my long lost identical twin it would seem

seriously I think this should be a regular thread somewhere I think I am going to ask MN.

what do you think?

like a support thread type thing ?

I think a support thread is a great idea.
Its easy to joke about how crap we are but personally it causes me a lot of anxiety. There are times when I really hate being me

Mum - you don't need to ask MN - just start a thread! If you put it in Chat it will only last 90 days, which might be what you want . Threads take up to 1000 posts.

If you want it to be a bit more permanent - maybe start it in Relationships?

me too verity < sigh >

Why not start new conversations rather than trying to join in existing ones? It's v hard to join in existing ones unless you are really good friends and can be confident of a welcome.

There will always be someone else standing alone. Go and mention the weather and see how it goes. Say you like their coat/hair/breasts. Practise!