I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

Some more potential members

Of which I am one

I am totally rubbish at meeting people and striking up conversation.

Before DC I would rely on hiding behind my uber glam smoking habit and drinking vast quantities of booze. But now I dont smoke and hardly ever drink. Infact I think at mums and tots turning up pished would be frowned upon.

I have no idea how to start conversations and I know I come across moody and stuck up friends have told me. But in fact its that I have no idea what to say or how to keep a conversation going.

Don't get me wrong, Jamie, you wouldn't think I was some some socially-inept weirdo in RL who can't hold a conversation....but I find it all rather difficult and am often absolutely "wrung out" after a social ocassion

Mingling at parties is the absolute pits, even family parties

I just can't find anything to talk about...so probably look stuck-up and bored

Mrschemist i'm like that too. I hate it when i'm not introduced to people.
Just stand there like a melon trying to smile at the right places. Normally failing greatly.

As someone else said, i doubt anyone notices our socially awkward ways. I don't think i have ever noticed it in anyone else.

I think that the party thing is all about cognitive dissonance - they are meant to be the height of excitement and enjoyment. What they actually are is:

Loud
Small-talk
No-where to sit
People being drunk
Other people who don't drink feeling out of it
Hot

Looked at rationally, it is the party's fault, not ours

I love it! It's the party's fault!

It's fashionable to be extrovert at the moment, but not everyone is naturally that way, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us

I agree Jamie- parties are generally a let down. I usually either end up sat in a corner on my own or drinking a little to much to aid the mingling process.

Know exactly what you mean about feeling 'wrung out' after any kind of social occasion. Not only this but I also get worked up into a panic before I go anywhere, then on the way home I play the whole thing over and over in head, mentally beating myself up for saying this or not saying that.

In fact it's a wonder that I get out the front door at all really.

Yeah, cf, it's the Big Brother generation innit

Everyone is supposed to be loud and wacky

Except I am not...I am kinda thoughtful and don't insist on shouting out my opinions at every opportunity

I am a good listener...I guess you need shouters and listeners, dontcha ?

About starting conversations....I usually ask how's work/children/do anything thrilling on weekend etc

I also comment on appearance sometimes but I screw it up all the time. Just yesterday
Me: Have you lost weight, you look fab?

H: Oh , yes thanks

Me: Not that you looked overweight or anyhting before....blah blah ....

(increasing paranoia that I have jsut told this lady that she was on the plump side before and feel like digging myself a big hole)

As dh says, I should simply NOT SAY ANYTHING.

Good point about about the Big Brother generation.
I think that i am one of the listeners, especially with new people. I feel much more comfortable talking about them than myself.
As a young un' it seems most of my peers are out to impress each other with 'what i did when i was drunk' type things. So i just end up feeling old beyond my years and boring.
I'm not though, promise!

Yep, thats what it used to be like for me hotsprocket-especially when I was at uni. Thought I must be the saddest, most boring person in the world ever. I did go out sometimes, and managed to enjoy myself (Ido like a boogie )but by about midnight all I wanted to do was go home and have a cup of tea - really couldn't be bothered getting ratarsed! I do find people who go on about how "crazy" they are and how much they drink a bit tedious though...

Hi!

Hi BessieBoots!

Would anyone like a drink?

(I'm having a cup of tea, but can order whatever you like)

Hi, ahem, no really, I'm fine, ahem, so, yes...

Why am I like this? Why can't I maintain eye contact? I went to a party at my in-laws' last weekend... Bleuuuuuugh...

(ILs are lovely btw. It's me wot's the problem.)

Sorry, I'm talking too much, aren't I?

A drink? Well, yes, but nothing alcoholic because I don't drink... I'm not pregnant or anything, just don't like the taste... I usually have coffee, or tea, or juice...

(This is how I was actually talking in said party. What. A. Weirdo.)

Grapefruit juice and lemonade, please...

MrsChemist - actually in the case of you standing there for 20 minutes I think the other person was being rude by not introducing you. Not your fault.

I can't mingle. It's all I can do at parties to manage not to spill my drink. I can't do school social occasions either - I'm fine at parents' meetings where we have a defined thing to chat about, and I have a desk to hide behind, but anything more informal gives me the heebie jeebies.

ooh can i have a cup of tea?
i'm stuck on the sofa breast feeding and dp has gone out.
I'm thirsty!

I can totally relate to all this unfortunately

Today in the playground I got talking to another mum and at first the conversation was okay and then I started gabbling on when I looked up she had walked off!
I think sometimes I look like some inane grinning idiot.

I am also nackered after any big occasion and have to psyche myself up for it,when I drink I either become totally chatty and extrovert or morose.

When I am in a group and someone else is talking, my own thoughts take over and I am rapidly thinking of the next thing I want to say before they have even finished!

The worst for me is definately the playground though, only 6 years to go!

welcome newbies

one thing is , by so many of you seeming to have the same issues, I feel comforted ha ha
LOl sorry to take comfort in your weaknesses lol

Who knew I was in such good company with the socially awkward? I wouldn't have said that any of you that I met (hello MrsC, AF, MMB!) seemed awkward at all. Slightly aloof and bored looking but not awkward...

I am so petrified of meeting strangers- I felt sick to my stomach for 2 days before the meet-up! I go red, stammer over my words, don't know what to do with my hands- it's so annoying.

Oh wow!
Hasn't this grown since i left it! Who knew there were so many of us feeling the same! Just goes to prove whover said earlier "never judge your insides on others outsides" (or words to that effect! I'm starting to wonder if anyone is actually truely comfortable or if everyone's dying inside at any social gathering! Makes you think.