first date - when to expect contact/to contact

[quitenice]

Had a nice first date yesterday afternoon with someone i would like to see again.

Hes away with work for the next 3 weeks, but at the end of the date said we could do something when he gets back.

But of course he could just be saying that.

Ive not heard from him yet ( and dont expect to) I was thinking if id not heard would it be ok to send a ' hows the foot' text ( he hurt his foot while we were out) on about wednesday. This is of course assuming ive not heard from him by then.

Or should i really just wait until he contacts me.

I just dont want to spend 3 weeks wondering if he is going to call me.

Send the text now, then it's up to him.

Is it not to early to text him? Im trying to appear cool.

I dont want him to think im super keen and waiting for him to text and its been less than 24 hours since the date.

Men can be funny and normally like to chase, if i text him this soon i might not appear quite as cool about it all.

I also know that today he is travelling.

I would send a text saying you'd had a lovely time yesterday, hope the foot is better, hope you have a good trip with work, maybe see you when you're back? Then as jenroy says, then the ball is in his court.

doesnt that make me look too keen though?

Hes young ( mid 20's )cool, trendy and very laid back. I think the worst thing would be to appear over egar.

Plus, if we start some kind of text tennis now, thats 3 whole weekes to sustain it, which is a long time. I thought if i waited a few days that might be better?

I don't think that you should behave the way you think men want you to behave, also he might think that you are uncaring if you don't just check up on his foot. If he's travelling won't texting give him something to do (providing he's not driving).
Ps. You regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did do.

72 hours at least, and then keep it VERY casual

He didnt hurt his foot that much. Just stubbed it on a rock.

hes quite new to the area is job ( current one is on contract) hunting and house hunting and i dont think is looking for a serious heavy relationship.

Ill leave it for as long as i can before i text. aim for wed afternoon or something.

Don't text today. Tommorrow or the next day and what ameliameerkat said.

3 weeks is a fair old time between first and second dates so a little reminder a couple of days afterwards can do no harm. But then leave it up to him.

Just spoke to friend who said the fact that he said he would contact me when he gets back shows hes not interested, else he would have contacted me already ( its still less than 24 hours since the date ended) and then would be in constant contact while he was away.

Am now confused.

Also, remembering, about 30 mins in he had a call, which could have been his get out if its horrible phone call, and he said he was fine, but in the middle of something and would call back them back in a few hours.

So thats good yes?

I hate first dates - horrible - you try and be cool and indifferentm but always end up annalising everything

Do you have a friend who is his friend aswell (sounds a bit childish but) who can ask him if he wants to be texted?
How did you meet him, do you really like him, did you have a kiss at the end of the date? Where has he gone for work?
I so want you to just text him because this is all speculation and over annalysis.

ignore your friend. That's bollocks.

But don't text him. esp. so soon - he will take it as too desparate and clingy, and that isn't how you want to start off. Later may be.

He will text you before the end of the week. I know this.

I can't be doing with this be cool crap. If you like him and want to see him again just tell him. Say you had a good time and hope to see him when he gets back. If he runs a mile then he isn't for you.

You'd make a great poker player, Fab!

internet.
He emailed me sat. few messages and then he asked if i fancied meeting for a walk in the park sunday. I said i was busy, then he told me he was away for a few weeks, so i shifted my plans about and we met for a few hours.

I do like him, We had loads in common, chatted non stop, bit of flirting. Lots of laughs, little bit of banter. It was nice.

No kiss at the end of the date, end was a bit raced, i realised i needed to get back to car as car park had run out and he needed to get contact lens cleaner and it was 3.55pm and everything was about to shut.

I was telling him about an event im going to later in the month and he said he might be interested in going????

Hes away in london, working for govt. Works pretty much solidly for a few weeks then has a few weeks off. Strange work patterns.

I want to text him but am still sitting on hands, will try and hold out to wed. I kind of think there is no point to start a texting now... otherwise every day ill be, has he text, hasnt he text, why not?

Why did he have to go away so quickly? he was very nice, he said my profile was classy and i came across really well. He asked how i had got on on the dating site, and we laughed at whata weird experience it can be. hes really nice, very good looking, well travelled, educated, into food and wines. Likes books and theatre and films and music, was witty and just so very nice.

This is pure touture

LPOTP.

LPOTP.

and i said that i hated people that constantally harrass you by sending constant texts. and he agreed.

lpotp???

is that some kind of poker thing?

Fab - tbh, i agree with you. I do not have a poker face at all. its taking all my will power to not text. I want to so badly.

im being text by someone else as well, did have a date lined up for the weekend, but am going to cancel because he just keeps texting me. its very annoying and off putting and rather than being excited when i get a text to see what it says, i just think, god - him again.

I do not want him to think that. When i text ( if he doesnt first) i want him to think, oh cool, a text from that cool girl i met on sunday, excellent.

oooooh - the bit about constant texting - a def. no then. Take your mind off him for a while. A watched kettle and all of that.

I had a first date too at the weekend on Saturday evening and have had the same debate as to whether I should email/text or not! In the end I decided I didn't have that much to lose (apart from a bit of face) and took the plunge last night and just sent a short email saying that I'd had a really nice time, hoped his business trip went ok (he was flying out yesterday) and if he wanted to do something when he got back that would be lovely but fully understood if he didn't want to. He had said on Saturday evening that he would call me whilst he's away (he's gone abroad with work so wouldn't be a cheap call to make) but have gone through all the possibilities as to whether or not he actually meant it or not.

He's probably running very fast in the opposite direction as I type this! At the end of the day, we are women and we could analyse when the right time to call/ text is until the cows come home!

Good luck quitenice, will be keeping fingers crossed for you!

He sounds lovely, you're set on waiting til wednesday so I'll stop trying to persuade you otherwise, just hope you have some finger nails left by then. For what it's worth I think he will be happy to hear from you.
You do know you'll have to let us know what happens!

I hope so. It went well. Lots of laughs and he is def someone i could happily spend time with, i enjoyed his company.

ezma - good luck. let us know what happens.. hope he replies!

Ill update if/when i hear.

Odd all of this contacting women and then 'going away on business'. Odd.

thanks quitenice - I've now convinced myself that he won't phone or email me but it's not stopping me checking my email every 5 minutes ! If he does, you'll hear me hollering very loudly!