first date - when to expect contact/to contact

[quitenice]

Had a nice first date yesterday afternoon with someone i would like to see again.

Hes away with work for the next 3 weeks, but at the end of the date said we could do something when he gets back.

But of course he could just be saying that.

Ive not heard from him yet ( and dont expect to) I was thinking if id not heard would it be ok to send a ' hows the foot' text ( he hurt his foot while we were out) on about wednesday. This is of course assuming ive not heard from him by then.

Or should i really just wait until he contacts me.

I just dont want to spend 3 weeks wondering if he is going to call me.

Ps, text tennis is shit. It takes all the excitment out of seeing the person again if youve been texting every five seconds.

Also we all know you cant read the subtext in texts so bad bad idea for a fledgling relationship.

i agree four. i hate constant texts.

anyway - i supose hes unlikely to reply now... its been 20 mins.

oh well. least it was only a few emails exchanged and a short date and i didnt waste weeks and weeks chatting to him first and getting all excited and buying new clothes etc... only to be let down. That would be far worse.

op, he could be in the shower, driving, ANYTHING!!!

what did you write!!!!!

i just said

hows the foot?

which is probably a silly thing to say, but i was trying to be casual - i didnt think it would be best to say what i was really thinking which is

you are very nice and i like you, can i see you again and be your girlfriend and when can i shag you please

driving home from work to gym... then has to do a work out.. then a sauna... then a coffee with his mate before he gets back to car to drive home and then once home checks his phone that was dumped in back of car so he never got tempted to use while driving... thats a good 3hrs + for a reply.. and by then it could be too late to text you back.

i refuse to reply to people if

after 9pm if they have dc who could be woken
10pm everyone else.

quitenice

juice is the oracle on these matters

so i shouldnt rule out a reply yet?

mind you, sat i gave him my number to text me details for sun as i wasnt going to be back online and it took him 4 hours to text after i gave it to him.

and, if im trying to appear cool i quite often do not reply straight away, or even for 5/6 hours after.

So, whats the thought? if he doesnt reply by tomorrow morning then im not going to get a reply and he cant have been as nice as i thought?

make no immediate assumptions!

busy yourself with the food.

no driving home from work. he was travellin gto london for work today. he works though the night ( some govt press thing). Hes just got back from volunteering in tel avive and doesnt have a place in london to stay so is crashing at different friends houses.

so, he could be at work, or be seeing them or travelling or anything.

he could also just not be into me.

pirate .. hardly

quitenice - i agree with the above post where they say to delete the number. if he doesn't reply to this text then chalk it up and keep your dignity.. sending anything more where he hasn't responded looks desperate and embarassing. so there is no need to keep the number, and save yourself the temptation of sending another in a few days time.

but before you delete the number write down the last 3 digits of it, so that know who it's from if you do get another text!!!

oh works night shift.. if he didn't sleep last night. then travelled to london to a friends house he could be sleeping or socialising with the friends he's staying with. neither of which is conductive to being near your phone

i cant delete the number yet, but i wont text again.
ive a bit more dignity than that.

He didnt work last night, but was travelling today and working from tonight. I dont know what time he starts but he did say something that he literally works the whole time as long as they need him and its not unusual to be there for 16hours sometimes and with the govt change there is a lot going on.

when hes working he literally works, sleeps and eats and thats eat. mostly works though, but then he does get a whole week off afterwards.

we will see.

This is ridiculous - how can you spend so long chewing this over. If he was keen he'd have texted by now however hard it was. He is obviously not that keen - just forget about it.

i think you are too keen on him qn
you don't know him yet

i know i dont know him, id like to get to know him better thats all.

terracotta - how long can i chew it over for.. how many seasons did sex and the city run for? pretty much all they did was chew over things like this

i think he would have text by now too.

Unless he texted you straight away (ish) I think he will have spent one nano second's worth of thought on the whole texting fandango compared to your hours and hours worth of chewing it over. Anybody can find time to text even if they do it in the loo!

Don't blame me !!

He is probably on some web site as we speak ...getting others opinions on when it would be best to text you back - so that he give the opinion he is cool and not desperate .... or mayyyybe not lol

i think hes probably not

i dont expect ill hear from him now. A little rude i think to not even send a nice to meet you, but no type message.

terracotta - of course i dont expect that he would have spent so long thinking about it. But hes male and im female - and we are different.

oh well.

Still time...

Oh man I hate this texting stuff after first dates. I also hate 'the rules of texting'.

If you had a nice time and want to see them again then there's nothing wrong or desperate with telling the other person that.

Over keen or desperate would be sending him suggestions for your children's names or telling him you think you're falling in love with him.

A two line text telling him you hope you can get together again soon is not over keen or desperate no matter how soon after the date you send it.

Also, I wouldn't read too much into the fact he hasn't replied instantly. If I get a text while I'm in the middle of a conversation or distracted by doing something else, often I'll not even read it, or read it and then forget about it until much later. Sometimes I forget to reply at all (sorry, friends).

If he hasn't made some kind of contact within the next few days then I'd probably write it off though.

Only just got round to replying, sorry. Umm.. thinking back, yes it did drive me mad waiting but I loved it to be honest... Some people just arent big texters..

Dont listen to those who say if he hasnt text back he's not interested. My dp is proof of that!

no - i do really think he isnt interested.
Just checked his dating profile and it says he has been online today.

I guess i must be really rubbish at guaging how well something goes then?

Oh quitenice please!!! Sop now. You have built yourself up in to a frenzy about this..

Maybe he went on line to see if youve been on line?

Maybe he had an email alert that he'd got a message on there and wanted to check.

I checked my online profile for quite a while after I met DP, even though I knew he was the one. I have no idea why..

How was the chilli? Anyway count your blessings, I made dinner about an hour ago and am still waiting for the man to come home.. I bet you've eaten yours already..

what madonnawhore said - summed it up nicely