first date - when to expect contact/to contact

[quitenice]

Had a nice first date yesterday afternoon with someone i would like to see again.

Hes away with work for the next 3 weeks, but at the end of the date said we could do something when he gets back.

But of course he could just be saying that.

Ive not heard from him yet ( and dont expect to) I was thinking if id not heard would it be ok to send a ' hows the foot' text ( he hurt his foot while we were out) on about wednesday. This is of course assuming ive not heard from him by then.

Or should i really just wait until he contacts me.

I just dont want to spend 3 weeks wondering if he is going to call me.

PS. what do people do on a second date if there is one?

Meet for a drink and/or Dinner.

Some say Cinema but for me that is a much later in the day kind of date. 2 hours of sitting next to someone you hardly know watching a movie that if you chose it might turn out to be crap and you will be all stressed out that he is not enjoying it and think you have rubbish taste.

Think I maybe analyse this kind of thing a bit too much .

shimmery, shall wait and see if there is indeed a second date but LOL at over-analysing - I do that all the time!

lordpan, yes, I've also thought through the whole going away on business thing. He was quite detailed about it all so I think he was being genuine. Very elaborate story plus we'd already had conversation about how it was better to be clear with someone as to whether you thought things weren't going to work out on a first date, if you just wanted to stay friends etc. However, he could be a v. good liar.

quitenice - do you think your chap was genuince about being away for 3 weeks?

yes i do. Beacuse he had already said so before i met him.
He asked me out this weekend just gone, i said i was busy but could do next weekend. he said that he was then away for 3 weeks and it would have to be when he got back, but could do anytime when he did get back.

So i said id see what i could do and managed to meet him for a few hours.

i would text him, this evening, if it was killing me to not have some sort of repsonse.

'hiya, how are you , i enjoyed yesterday .'

then you leave it.

LordPan - no it's not, some people do go away on business you know. Also, this man may well be sensibly just doing a bit of online dating and seeing what happens, rather than behaving as through three emails and a cup of coffee constitute an engagement ring...

ezma - id say he was going away. I dont see why someone would lie about it, especially if you had a conversation about it, and he said he would call you while he is away. How long is he away for?

If hes going by the 3 day rule thing then you should probably hear from him by the end of tomorrow?

It is killing me, but im going to hold out until wed. The 3 day rule thing. Ill give him time to contact me. Then, if ive not heard ill text him something causal asking how his foot is.

so, 48hr countdown starts now.

well... i'm going to say you should text him first.

by sounds of it you practically ran off at the end of your date.

he may think your not interested as dashed off at great speed to avoid kissing or arranging next meeting iykwim??

shine - why do you think ill need to chalk it up to experience?

Beacuse he hasnt text yet? or because he said he would be in contact when he gets back? OR some other reason?

Just interested, because im new to all this, so any insight would be great.

awww i miss all this will he wont he stuff!! You should enjoy it !!
...and BTW i met my OH on line ...chatted on the phone for about 10 months (both in other casual relationships) decided when we were both single that we should really meet... and we met the day before he went away for two weeks!! ...he turned up at my door 2 hours after his plane had landed two weeks later ....and 9 yrs later and one 7 yr old ...we are still going strong. (this post has reminded me just how much i love him)

Text him nowwwwww what's the worst that can happen ??? He either is interested or not... if he is interested then a text 2 days too early (apparently) wont do any harm and if he is not interested ....then at least you know.

really - just 24hrs after?

the odd few other dates ive been on where they have contactec me quickly ( some even same night) have all turned out to be losers who were just trying to shag me. But there i was thinking they must really like me beacuse they text/called me so quickly...

????

men are weird.

If i have to text wed coz he hasnt and i dont get a reply ill know wont i. And wont spend 3 weeks waiting to find out.

Of course im talking to other guys. Ive got another date lined up for friday! I just liked him, thats all.

bugger it - im texting now

text sent

now - we wait...............

manda - thats your fault i just text... lol

your right, if he replies or not is not going to change in 2 days is it.

Either he will, or he wont and waiting 48 hours makes no difference.

Least ill know and not spend the next 2 days in a flap.

I really hope he reply's...even to say that he is not interested. I hate it when you get nothing back and then you are left wondering ....'maybe they didn't get the text' 'maybe they have lost their phone' ....LOL - personally when i text first - i wipe their number so i can only text again if they text back ...sad i know

no reply yet.........

how long is reasonable to reply in? 2 hours?
30 mins?

2 mins? and i should get the hint and shiney was right?

how bloody rubbish

meh

My experience was this.

Date monday night.

I text the next day to say thanks for a lovely time.

He didnt text for 2 days.

Then he called and asked me out again.

While we were out he said thanks for the text, it told me that you had a nice time so I knew you liked me, but it wasnt pushy.

I didnt text after that date.

he didnt either.

Then he called me three days later... and the rest is history.

(3.5 years down the line we're sooooo in love)

10 mins - no reply.

am off to eat big bar of galaxy and cook a mean chilli con carne which i will feast on by means of consoladation.

and now i start wondering what i did wrong.

just got a text from someone else, nearly jumped out of my skin

this is crazy behaviour for a grown woman!!!

it would be so funny if he was reading all of this

four - but did you not go stir crazy after you sent that text and didnt hear for 2 days.??? and then after the second date and you didnt hear for another 3 days...

god!

maybe i should have waited then... oh well, too late now.