first date - when to expect contact/to contact

[quitenice]

Had a nice first date yesterday afternoon with someone i would like to see again.

Hes away with work for the next 3 weeks, but at the end of the date said we could do something when he gets back.

But of course he could just be saying that.

Ive not heard from him yet ( and dont expect to) I was thinking if id not heard would it be ok to send a ' hows the foot' text ( he hurt his foot while we were out) on about wednesday. This is of course assuming ive not heard from him by then.

Or should i really just wait until he contacts me.

I just dont want to spend 3 weeks wondering if he is going to call me.

HE TEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!

phew!

he said sorry he took so long to reply, he was asleep. his foot is ok as he he made of steel and hes just heading into the office for work, fun and games.

so - do i reply now? or later? or not at all?
Can anyone think of anything witty about the made of steel thing???

nice one! and breeaathe ...

have waitied a bit a replied.

He was really girly about the rain yesterday and wet benches. we were joking about it.

so i replied with

your made of steel? well that explains the whole over reaction to the rain and wet benches... scared of rust! haha.

am hoping thats a little bit funny?? or lame enough to raise a smile.

Will leave him to contact me now.

feel a lot more relaxed now. Dont usually get in such a state about all the ins and outs, but i did actually really like him. That makes quite a difference.

wohoooo phew even i am glad lol

Totally classy reply, qn. Well played. Let us know how you get on...

you think?

i hope he thinks so too.

Yeah, it's playful, it's witty, you're teasing him a little bit but not enough to offend him (unless he's a total fassy). Teasing is a great flirting technique because it's not slutty or cheesy but there's still a subtext there.

If I got that text from someone I'd think they were clever and fun.

But leave it to him to contact you now. If it were me I'd leave it maybe a couple of days before texting you again because it's a long time til you can next see each other and you don't want to peak too early with your text banter iykwim.

Phew... see! Now move away from the phone and get on with your life... until he gets in touch again.

Oh and if he responds tonight... but doesnt put a question in the text.. dont respond. Just leave it on a high.

yes. i do feel a lot better and will just wait for him to contact me now.

3 weeks is AGES! though, and your right, dont want to peak too early and it not be exciting.

but, hes replied once, with something nice anc jokey and it wasnt an thanks but no thanks...

so fingers crossed for a second date.

OMG he TOTALLY likes you!

Ahhh the highs and lows of dating...

im sure he doesnt TOTALLY like me

( are you saying that in an american accent??) lol

but - he likes me enough to reply. So thats good enough for now.

yup......I have to agree.......he works for the govt 3 weeks at a time??? What as? Are you 100% certain he hasn't got another woman/wife somewhere??

If he's keen, he'll contact you within 3 days and make proper plans to take you for dinner etc....if not, I'd say "next !" So many men.........so little time......

Don't accept scraps.....no need !

of course im not certain, how could i be after a few emails and a 2 hour meet.

????

All i can do it believe what he said. Why wouldnt i? I dont go about being instantally suspicious of people.

If he contacts me he contacts me. Id like him to and i still feel tons better having got past the first text hurdle thing.

ezma - any news?

I just had to check in. Yipee, no more tenterhooks!

I suspect he's got a wife/other family, hence the weird 3 weekly schedule................c'mon....what's his excuse??

If he doesn't even bother to call again, FORGET HIM !! I wouuldn't run after any guy.........especially one who seems so preoccupied with himself!!!!!!!!

he doesnt need an excuse. he owes me nothing. it was one date.
He said hes in london working and i believe him. WE do not live near london so there is quite a bit of travelling there. I do not expect him to travel for a few hours one evening mid week for a second date with me.

Im rather busy myself for the next 3 weeks anyway and would have struggled to see hum.

I dont think he has a wife or other family at all. Hes quite young, has just got back from volunteering and is currently living with his parents. He also has no car as he sold it before he went away. Hardly things you would say to impress someone.

I wont contact him again, if he contacts me i will be pleased though.

Id rather trust people than live my life so cynically i thnk.

Quitenice - you sound lovely, and ignoring your small period of post-date texting-etiquette nerves , you seem to have a very good attitude. Better to trust and be open until you have reason not to, absolutely.

thanks

Actually i remembered that he doenst usually work 3 weeks in a row then one off. Its usually one week on, one off. But hes covering someones holiday. So its there for 3 weeks.

Plus as i said, he told me hes just come back from volunteering in tel avive and is skint. He managed to get his old job back ( the one hes currently doing) and is working as much as possible as its only on a temp basis. Hes looking for work back here though.

I dont think its unfestiable at all.

scarlet -

qn - you have a great attitude i think. and fwiw i always believe what people tell me unless i get reason to believe otherwise.

quite how someone can go through life constantly thinking everyone is telling porkies.. or every single bloke who actually has a life may really have a wife must be very depressing.

I must admit to feeling slightly unnerved by the perma-suspicious, I tend to find that those who trust others are trustworthy themselves.

Glad it's worked out so far qn...But......what a polava over a text message!So glad not to be a girl.

so - when do you think it would be reasonable to hear from him next, if he is indeed interested?

Do you think a text by the end of the week? or maybe he just wont contact me until he comes back. ( in which case thats a bit useless i think and maybe he cant be that interested?)

Or maybe i just wont hear from him at all and he only replied out of politness.

See, have been cool as a cucumber for 2 days and now im all het up again.

Stop it this minute!!

You'll hear from him when you hear from him, if you want to contact him do so (I dont buy into all these strategies BUT I would probably hang fire for now as you initiated last contact, otherwise he may feel a bit harangued).

Just try to busy yourself with other things and be calm about it. he'll contact you when he chooses to and there's not a lot you can do about that - you'll just send yourself crazy again waiting for your phone to beep.

crazy again, lol

Im not going to text him first again. I sent one, which surely indicates im interested. So now i know ive got to wait else ill look desperate and clingy.

I was just wondering thats all. Im very busy the rest of this week, and weekend. Then im away on holiday for two weeks, so i should return the same time he does.

Im just the worlds most inpatient person.