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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

me and alcohol have ruined my family

999 replies

jesuswhatnext · 31/05/2010 12:32

title says it all really - i really cocked up last night, dh walked out, i cant remember what i said to him

today i have actually been in touch with AA but i think its all too late, my dd hates me, as does my parents, yes im feeling sorry for myself right now but i also know i have to change and stop drinking but dont know how.

what can i do to put things right? help me!

OP posts:
Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 16:24

yep - dd is 18, tall, slim, clever and gorgeous! (can you tell how proud of her i am?)

the other night she had a bit of a prblem with her bf, i was actually able to help her in a sensible, coherant way, she did comment that it was so nice, i didn't go off on one and threaten to have him shot , just looked at things from both pov! they asked me to go out with them last night, a few weeks ago she wanted to leave home as she couldnt bear to be in teh same room as me - i cannot articulate how i feel now, it is wonderful! i can see us having a proper mum/daughter relationship.
i dont want to worry about bringing friends home in case im pissed and doing something stupid.

btw - i bet you arnt an old bucket of lard!, drinking is helping you to hang on to negatives thoughts about yourself, keep hold of the soda!!!

OP posts:
EMS23 · 09/07/2010 16:30

JWN - so much for being tearful earlier, I'm actually crying now. I'm happy for you but I am thrilled for your daughter. I honestly do not know what I would do without my Mum and it sounds like you and your daughter are headed for the same kind of relationship. Now I'm pregnant I need my mum more than ever.. one day, you'll be supporting your daughter through pregnancy too... assuming you haven't shot the boyfriend first!!!!
Only joking!!

Have great weekends all
xxx

MoominMags · 09/07/2010 16:33

Well, gang it's almost time to go home and almost the weekend!! I wish everyone sober, sane and serene weekends.

I will be around over the weekend though (in between meetings, ha ha!) so hope to hear from everyone and get their news.

Lots of love and thanks to all (for now!) x x

Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 16:38

oh gawd - not another one in tears!!!, i seem to making a bit of a habit of it on here

yes ems - one day!!! (not too soon! ) i would love to be a nana - i intend to be a fun, young looking one!
congratulations on your pregnancy, i bet your mum is beside herself with excitement, i know i will be

i am also looking forward to one day helping (being in charge of ) dds wedding, i know its a long way off but i plan on being a glamourous mother of the bride, not the embrassing old bag with the gin bottle in her handbag!

OP posts:
Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 16:39

have a good one moomin!! - i will be about off and on, i love catching up with you all!!

OP posts:
algee · 09/07/2010 16:46

That's so lovely; dd has never known me any different, she loves me unconditionally, but she is growing up. She will notice or somebody else will,and point it out to her...yeauch.

Immediate danger time over. Next one 7pm. Meant to replace whiskey bottle and beer I drained last night before dh comes home later...

algee · 09/07/2010 16:48

sorry can't get the hang of this posting lark...don't mean to seem as if i'm ignoring people!

MIFLAW · 09/07/2010 16:48

Algee

Perhaps 9unless he is going to drink them both) it would be better just to give him the money or even just say "sorry" and let him get some more when he wants them?

After all, it's not like you want to hide your drinking, is it?

MoominMags · 09/07/2010 16:49

Well done algee for getting past the first hurdle. Have you got a good book or something you can distract yourself with at 7pm? Or do something with DD?

algee · 09/07/2010 16:52

MIFLAW...that made me laugh in a red faced kind of way. Of course not! And of course I had no intention of topping up the empty with the new to the same level it was at when he left on Sunday night!

Moomin...feel it's going to have to be lime soda; snuggle time with the girl, drink always accompanies me.

MoominMags · 09/07/2010 16:56

I also laughed at MIFLAW's post!! God, I hated all that hassle of drinking, replacing, hiding, drinking, apologising, drinking - total insanity!

Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 16:58

algee - does your dh know that you are worried about your drinking? maybe you could try having a bit of chat with him about it, he may be worried himself and be pleased to try and support you!

well done for getting this far - try and find something absorbing to do that will keep you busy for the next few hours, or, i have found a few times that if i just go and lie down on the bed with the curtains drawn and classic fm on the radio it kind of takes the edge off iyswim?

i have to go now, got to get across town to meet db at home, i will be back a little later - keep on trying - an hour at a time!

xxxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 17:00

i was always too pissed to hide stuff successfully

OP posts:
algee · 09/07/2010 17:35

Have a lovely time!

MoominMags · 09/07/2010 18:55

Hi all, just wanted to drop in before I head to my meeting, I am especially thinking of you algee... You said that 7pm would be another tricky spot for you. Just to let you know I am thinking about you. And I am sure everyone else is too x

Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 21:05

hi, are you about algee? and wasindie? dn and i have been out for dinner, i gave her the choice of where we went, ended up in zizzis, apparently that is very posh , isnt it funny, i can remember thinking that my aunty was the poshest person in the world cos she had a serving hatch and an onyx coffee table

dn has gone to bed, i think this heat has just about finished her off! dd and bf will be back in a minute - dh is at the oval getting very pissed with the guys - i dont mind, it does him good to let his hair down a bit, and of course, he isnt the one with the problem! (although he may be in the morning when he feels like crap we make him come shopping with us! )

anyway, will be about for a little while, hope everyone is ok?

OP posts:
algee · 09/07/2010 21:15

Hey moomin hope your meeting went well, JWN sounds like a lovely evening...envy your dh, ages since I've been to the cricket. I'd forgotten it was Friday so 7pm second dip delayed. Took dd to her cricket training, usually sneak home and guzzle wine then when I go to pick up speak to everyone through my hands to hide the smell...cloud lala!

Dropped off tonight and came home and ate the contents of my fridge, but drank fizzy water. Snuggle time very tricky, she's been in bed an hour but I'm trying to focus on my work...hands are twitching though...

Next dip will be bedtime. Hell who am I kidding it's tricky from approx midday to bedtime full stop!

'fraid I did replace the booze...I know. I have told dh i'm worried often, but he doesn't understand that for every one of his drinks I have at least two, usually more, and that my mornings are invariably tarnished with a hangover. Will find time to talk to him this weekend.

We're moving soon, and have just had a serving hatch put in! 70's throwbacks the pair of us!

curryeater · 09/07/2010 21:20

Good evening!

Algee - I'm sending good vibes your way.
Indie - I thought I functioned well when drunk too - drink for drink. The problem was I would drink twice as much as everyone else.

I have never driven after drinking, but there were some days I had to not drive because of what I had had the night before. (I never admitted this - I always had some other reason why it would be better not to go, or go on the bus)

dd and I have had a good day sitting out on the grass with friends. dd has been in the paddling pool, we had a lovely picnic lunch, we're really enjoying this weather instead of sweltering in it. Trying to line up something like that for tomorrow, but everyone is busy.... we'll be a twosome I think.

Thanks everyone for being the magical friendly voices inside the computer - you are all stars and you are all being amazing.

Maybe I'll go to a meeting next week.

TEN DAYS!

algee · 09/07/2010 21:26

'magical friendly voices inside the computer'! like that...

can't quite believe I'm interacting with computer fairies!

Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 21:46

oi!! oo are u callin a fairy!!

OP posts:
nearlybedtime · 09/07/2010 21:50

Hello,

Please may I join in with you? I am a drunken old bag still, but i really want to change. I've followed this thread for a while, and anything else to do with alcohol, but am hopeless at making that first step, for very many years.

It has been wonderful to follow this thread and it has really filled me with hope that I too can do this. You have really moved and inspired me with your courage and fortitude.

Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 21:52

ohh, friendly, i thought i read fairy voices, and im sober!!, just a bit doolally it seems

OP posts:
Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 21:56

hi nearly, feel free to hop aboard!! , as you can see, we are all quite a friendly bunch, maybe this is your first step? all old bags welcome, drunken or otherwise!

curry!!!TEN WHOLE DAYS!!!!! WOOHOOOO!!

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Original poster
jesuswhatnext · 09/07/2010 21:59

well done so far algee, you nearly have a day under your belt - what ever time do you go to bed though?, it sounds as if you are up half the night!!

i am drinking water right now, am so thirsty, i think my dinner was salt laden - would most deffo have a hangover tommorrow if i was drinking wine as well!

OP posts:
MoominMags · 09/07/2010 22:05

Hi everyone,

Algee you are doing brilliantly!! If you struggle later just get to bed and that will be a sober day - result!

curry - great to hear about your day. 10 days! Fantastic.

Welcome nearly! All welcome to the thread. I hope that this can be your first step to a better, sober life. If that doesn't sound too serious for a Friday evening!

JWN - sounds like another lovely day. I pity your dh with a shopping trip in this heat, with a hangover! But at least you will be as fresh as a daisy!

My meeting was really good, it's my home group so I always enjoy it. Just me and about 10 blokes tonight! All of us drunks trying to get sober!