me and alcohol have ruined my family

[jesuswhatnext]

title says it all really - i really cocked up last night, dh walked out, i cant remember what i said to him

today i have actually been in touch with AA but i think its all too late, my dd hates me, as does my parents, yes im feeling sorry for myself right now but i also know i have to change and stop drinking but dont know how.

what can i do to put things right? help me!

hi everyone - dh has taken me out for dinner, i bloody well deserverd it asfter the day i have had - my witch-in-law lived up to her name, was a snidey old bag all afternoon, kept offering me juice, very loudly, adding 'don't worry, i havent spiked it' ha fucking ha!

anyway - I HAVE NOT HAD A DRINK!

well done to you ALL!! sounds like we have managed a hard day between us!

venus - my dd is 18 and im trying not to make a big thing of her drinking - tbh, she does the usual teenager stuff but generally she seems very able to put it down, she is always offered wine at dinner 9 times out of 10 she will prefer juice or water, i wonder if my example has made her wary iyswim - how did your dd enjoy her hols, bet she needs a week off now to get over it

curry - hang on in there, slowly does it the housework and the garden can wait for a bit, its too bloody hot to do much anyway! just be a bit kind to yourself - the rest will follow!

am off to bed now, sleep well everyone!xxx

I am in awe of you ladies, this is the first thread that I check in on everyday. Congratulations and best wishes for all your futures.

good morning - and what a lovely morning it is - dh and i just had a bit of a chat and a cuddle , he says he is so much happier now and feels we are getting back on track!

today we are meeting friends for a picnic and listening to some bands, should be good, dd is joining us later on and then i expect we will go out for a curry.

five - thanks for your kind words, its strange, but apart from the regular posters, i kind of forget that there is a great big internet world out there reading all my wafflings

venus, curry and moomin - i hope you all have a good day! enjoy the sun, your families, and the fact that you are alive, sober and getting better - that what i intend to do!

see you later xxxx

5 days
goodnight all

JWN and co - I wanted to say how amazing you all are. Good luckk ladies

Well done curry eater. I trust you enjoy waking up in the morning feeling fresher and brighter, and well rested.

You are doing really well.

well done everyone! - a sober weekend! - i have had a super day, wonderful weather, been with great friends and

I HAVE NOT HAD A DRINK!

i have now been sober for 5 weeks - i feel fantastic!!

tommorow is quite busy, i need to go into the office for a while, meeting at lunchtime, yoga in the evening - i am really looking forward to the day, i feel bright, light and very happy

am off to bed now, its been a long day, but a good one

see you all in the morning!

Well I left a quick message last night, but yesterday was a a really tough test for me.

We had friends over for lunch, so my first test was on Saturday evening and Sunday morning, preparing food with a glass of elderflower and grape juice to accompany me rather than my usual cooks approach of 2 glasses of wine for the cooking, the rest of the bottle for me. I managed that OK and it didn't feel too tough.

Then came the lunch. I sat around with a half glass of wine (which I didn't have, and which I eventually took to the kitchen with me and threw away) drinking lots of water instead. I do not think anyone else noticed, and I am musing on the fact that instead of being a secret drinker, I have now become a secret non-drinker!

But yesterday evening was really, really difficult. The house smelt of good food and rich coffee and for the first time I felt an almost overwhelming need for something to drink. I was cross and grumpy, or to be honest bloomin' angry, and I felt as though life was unfair. Why is it that other people can drink moderately? Why have I got myself into this state? I was full of self pity and I found it difficult to distract myself. Horrid weather so I couldn't go in the garden, swimming pool closes early on a Sunday, and crap on TV.

But I didn't drink. I had lots of tea and I did some work. Most of all I didn't drink. And this morning I am so glad. I would have hated myself if I had had a drink, and I also would have had a hangover.

Perhaps it was too early (only a week into being sober) to have a lunch party and face other people drinking when I wasn't, but now that I've survived it I feel better.

Good morning all, I too had a sober weekend. And I feel great for it. Well done venus - that must have been so difficult for you and you made it through. Don't feel that you have to 'test' yourself in these early days though - you need to be really kind to yourself.

I had no urge to drink over the weekend at all which was great. I enjoyed the weather, being with my family, being back in my own home, the football (sober!) and meetings on Fri and Sat which were really good.

Life feels positive. Long may it continue!

Sorry, meant to say that I know exactly what you mean about feeling cross and grumpy venus. I can feel really hard done by if I don't have a word with myself!

It's been a while since I've posted but I have been keeping up with the thread and think every single one of you are so so brave and strong.
It's inspiring!
xxx

Venus

An AA mnemonic for you - "Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired." These are key drinking triggers - when you experience them, HALT and do something to sort them out (e.g. eat, take some deep breaths or kick a filing cabinet, phone a friend, go to bed or sit down), otherwise they can easily lead you to a drink.

A tip for you - DO NOT "play" at drinking. Don't have stunt drinks or you may end up drinking them. Better to have a fake drink, e.g. pour yourself a coke and say it's a rum and coke, ask for an orange juice and say there's a vodka in it. Or just openly have a soft drink and tell people you're on antibiotics. Don't make life harder for yourself than it has to be!

And lastly, a little food for thought - whenever I think that life is unfair, I remember something someone said in a meeting once. He said, "if life was fair - I'd be dead." How true is that of you? Have you not, as a drinker, taken immense risks and got away with them? Why, if you are happy for life to be unfair in those situations, would you expect it to be fair in others?

Hope some of this is of some use. You're doing well, just keep it simple and you'll be fine.

Welcome Wasindie! The more the merrier I think! Well done on 3 days - that's a great achievement. Have you got support in RL?

Feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired is a great sign that you are ready to put the drink down. And I think it's one of AA's sayings too.

The support I have got from this thread has been immense.

hi everyone!!! all comers welcome here, so,

nice to meet you wasindie

venus - you done good girl that was some test! - BUT YOU DID NOT DRINK! wow wow wow!!! - be very proud of yourself!!

dh and i went for a curry last night and (ahem) , a night of passion was then had! - i feel all girly and silly , it was just like we used to be! oooo, i'm so pleased, i havent felt like this in years!!

i truly feel like our marriage is back on track, thank god and elderflower presse

am skipping off to meeting now, hope they don't all guess what has put a spring in my step

good to hear you too had a nice weekend moomin!

see you all later xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ps - everyone listen to miflaw - he is a god!

or put another way, he knows what he is talking about!

Hi JWN! Aw your post made me smile for you! Sounds like you had a lovely evening

Enjoy your meeting, I am off to one tonight. Didn't go last night so am definitely in the mood for it.

MIFLAW certainly knows what he's talking about - love reading his posts. They are like a mini-meeting in themselves!

I am on day 12 now, double figures whoo-hoo!

"ps - everyone listen to miflaw - he is a god! "

Sadly, though I agree, according to Step 3 this role has been taken by someone else ...

Hello to all of us! I hope that everyone has passed a peaceful and sober day...

I have had a good day, work has been fine, met my DH and Dad (DF??) for lunch which was lovely, just about to do some food shopping (just food!) and then off to a meeting tonight...

Looking forward to getting updates from everyone re their day.

Take care!

When I find myself tempted to make excuses for having a drink, or when I was scared about going to a meeting, I found myself asking "what would MIFLAW do?"

Uncompromising advice. Just when we need it. Thanks.

Good thinking venus! Are you off to another meeting then?

hi, good day here too - was asked to do the main share again, ohh very wobbly feeling - cried though, felt a bit of a twit, but everyone said they got something out of it!

after the meeting a approached a lady about becoming my sponsor (i hope this was alright miflaw, i dont the etiquette surrounding this request), she said that she was 2 years sober and now doing step 4 and that she would give it some thought.

so, am off to yoga in a bit, texting dh a list of little jobs that need doing before i get home , it is a bit cooler here today so i think a bit of houswork is on the agenda this evening, the house looks very dustyand the bathroom looks like it will give us some sort of tropical disease

see you later

'i' doh

Enjoy your yoga! You've done exactly the right thing re looking for a sponsor. And if she says no don't take it personally!

Don't think I will be back until tomorrow so will catch up with everyone then.

Course it's the right etiquette.

Pick a sponsor that you think understands the programme and seems to be doing well on it, is my advice.

Not that my advice counts for much - I've never really managed to make it work with a dedicated sponsor.