me and alcohol have ruined my family

[jesuswhatnext]

title says it all really - i really cocked up last night, dh walked out, i cant remember what i said to him

today i have actually been in touch with AA but i think its all too late, my dd hates me, as does my parents, yes im feeling sorry for myself right now but i also know i have to change and stop drinking but dont know how.

what can i do to put things right? help me!

good morning - am cooking up a storm here, getting ready for this afternoon, the garden looks great, the fruit cocktail is chilling and the cakes are in the oven

oh what a beautiful day

I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

Morning all, JWN you are doing so well! It's great to watch your mood lift as you recover. I have had a bad few days - yes, been drinking, bleurgh, but made it to a meeting last night (seemed to spend most of the time weeping but never mind!) I am off to my Home Group tonight so I am looking forward to that. It's just really 2 steps forward 1 step back at the moment. Still I am sober today - so that's a successful day!
Hope that everyone else is OK too.
x

Just wondered if anyone was about today. Feeling really blue and low. It's lovely to hear how everyone else is doing. Gives me a little boost! Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine!

I didn't want to leave you unanswered Moomin, I'm sorry that you're feeling low.

Well done though for being sober today - that is something to feel proud of especially on a day when you are feeling low - good for you!

Moomin

Keep coming back.

It gets better.

and remember - you have no problem, however serious, that a drink could not make worse.

Thanks for the messages. Looking forward to the meeting as they are the only places I feel 'safe' at the moment. Everything else is really scary... Should get on with some work now instead of moping about feeling sorry for myself. Thanks all!

so sorry moomin! - i have been busy all day, this is my first chance to log on.

how was your meeting?, i do hope it helped to lift your mood, i understand totally what you mean by feeling safe there - as soon as i walk into the room, i feel a kind of peace, its also really nice that i am making what i know are real friends there, kind, understanding people who don't judge, just care

i have had a lovely day, we have been in the garden all afternoon, my cakes were better than i could have hoped for AND I DID NOT DRINK! my best friend, bless her, did not drink either, its her way of supporting me

tommorow, it has been decided that we are all going shopping for the day, lunch out and a bit of a spend up, sounds good to me

heading for the 4 week mark now, dd is happier, dh actually looks a few years younger, im sure that not coming home to chaos is having a huge impact on the family, its friday night and dd and bf are here!, just enjoying the evening - i cant tell you all how nice it is!

good morning, am all ready for my day of shopping with the girls, quite excited, dh is a useless shopper and no help at all and if i go with dd it just ends up with me buying her stuff, typical teenager i suppose.

anyway, today I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

i think it helps that it is so hot, even i used to cut down in the heat, made me feel sick very quickly, am trying to remember that feeling so i am not tempted today.

hope everyone has a good day, i do hope moomin is ok today, i wish you would come back, i have worried about you all night!

see you later

hi, had a fairly nice day, got too hot, really fancied a drink, i didin't have one though, i have had a headache all afternoon and feel a bit shitty - i am also a bit [shocked] at a friend of mine, i am now finding that the longer i am sober, the more fucking annoying she is - she has been on at me all day to have a drink and i feel worn down by her, she is the only person, so far, who has not been encouraging/supportive. i think it will be a long time before i see her again, i could tell my other friends were getting a bit pissed off with her aswell, we were out for a nice day of shopping and all she did was whine to go to the pub, i just feel drained by her i guess.

so, i now have a nice long tonic water and lime and am off to sit in the garden for a bit.

Well I have had half a glass of wine!!
But only half and not having anymore.

It was our school gala today which I have organised as I am Chair on the PTA and we have a drinks raffle. Buy a raffle ticket and win a drink. Everyone is a winner...thats because we are not actually allowed to 'sell' booze.

Was given a glass of wine of which I sipped half of very slowly!!

Not bothered really as just took it 'cos'!

Could have left it but it was a sort of 'aren't we the best PTA in the world' celebratory drink.

Anyway...long story short... I am not an alcoholic. I just liked to drink a lot.

Not had a drink for 2 weeks until today an you know what, it hasnt bothered me one little bit!!! Yipee!!!

Am not bragging so please don't flame me, but am in control and feelin good.

JWN

She sounds like she could be one of us too ...

Melvyn's

Fantastic news to hear you are in control.

melvyn, i am a bit that you are in control, i wish i could just put the drink down but hey ho, thats life!

miflaw - i think you may be right, i was thinking about it last night and i cant remember the last time i was in her company without her getting drunk.

today i am doing nothing, zero, nada, just going to sit in the garden and enjoy the day, got the sunday papers, a cold raspberry and apple juice and all is well with the world

see you later

was just thinking, it is 4 weeks today snice my meltdown moment - what a differance, we have spent the day chatting, reading, dh watched the football (oops) and i am just about to start dinner

better do some baking later for AA tommorow

the last 4 weeks have been truly momentous for me and i would like to thank everyone on here who has supported me from the bottom of my heart, life is getting better everyday, we are coming back together as a family, my house feels like a home again, my job is looking up (just had e-mail, have landed a nice little contract, not huge but a foot in the door!)

i will carry on using this thread, if i may, all contributions gratefully accepted i have found it incredibly useful the last few weeks.

THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

see you later xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i JWN!

Well done love!! 4 whole weeks.... Look at how far you've come!

Proud to 'know' you!

why?

sorry that message was to mumsnet - not quite got my head round this computer malarky?!!

JWN - I have read the first and last page of this thread so I'm guessing I've missed a lot, but just wanted to say well done to you for admitting the problem in the first place and how fantastic your DH is to have stuck by you and I'm so pleased for you that he did. I'm glad things are working out for you and I really hope that it doesn't make you think, "Oh, I've done so well, I can just have one". You can't. But one day, you might get through a day and realise that you haven't thought about it at all and it really will get easier from there. I think you should give that 'friend' who nagged you to have a drink a wide berth. That's no friend.

Good luck.

Good morning all, JWN you are doing so well! You are really inspiring me! (I totally agree with MIFLAW by the way re your friend. I find that when I am off the booze the people that are not supportive are the people who have alcohol issues themselves.) I have managed to not pick up this weekend and have been to plenty of meetings. I have realised - with some nudging from AA friends! - that I am not going to enough meetings so my aim now is to go to 5 a week! Sounds exhausting to lazy old me but I know it's the only way...
Here's to a great week for us all!
x

hi moomin, nice to hear from you glad you had a good weekend. i am not going to make to AA today as i have to be in the office, i will be going tomorrow though. today is my 4 week mark i feel bloody marvelous

see you later

It's great to see how far you have come JWN. 4 weeks is 1/13th of a year!! You really motivated me to give up the pop and I am so grateful as I too feel that my life has changed and that of my family.

Go girl!

Have been lurking since the beginning, and just wanted to say "Well done you,you have been brilliant, and keep it up! "

just having a quick break, i have yoga this evening and then i think we will fire up the bbq, it looks like being another lovley evening

thanks for the encouraging comments.

Hi JWN
another lurker here, wanted to add to the chorus of WELL DONE!!!

Something you said struck a chord with me
"i hope that one day the smell of booze will be just as revolting to me as the stink of fags!"

In drink terms I am a lightweight, used to drink quite a bit as a student but when I got to around 27 the hangovers started to get really fierce. I'm now 41 and can only drink a glass or so of sparkling wine, or a very long drink with a small bit of vodka. If I'm offered anything outside that I can smell the hangover - the thumping head, paranoid thoughts, sick stomach. I think I'm probably slightly allergic to it now (my mum is too). Going past a pub with the beery smell brings on the same thing.

Just wanted to share that, it is possible to be physically revolted by alcohol!

I find it very physically unpleasant these days even to use alcohol-based mouthwash (Dentyl pH all the way!)

have just got back from yoga, i absolutly love it i wish i had started years ago, in the few sessions i have been to, i can really feel my body beginning to loosen up, (it also helps that i have lost a few lbs!)

dh has asked if i would like to go out for dinner, what a daft question! burnt offerings from the bbq or a lovley meal cooked by someone else - nitwit! he need'nt ask me twice

I WILL NOT BE DRINKING THOUGH!!

btw - never knew mouthwash contained alcohol perhaps im a bit dim?