Very sad

[isallshit]

Who cares about me?
No one

Who have I seen today?
no one

Who is thinking about me?
no one

So pleased you are feeling a little better Isall.

DS and I had a lovely day playing Robin Hood at Sherwood Forest- I'm a bit glad the Bank Hol is over!!

I hope you enjoy the drinks tomorrow. Don't forget you have already made a huge step forward in agreeing to go. There's no pressure to stay for long, or to have a blast. Just accepting and then going is a great step forward.

I would love to know how you get on.

This is really hard to do. Even if you are feeling very depressed, try very hard to put a smile on your face, stay positive, prentend to be happy and people are more likely to be drawn to your company and want to be your friend. I agree with other posts, you MUST join a group and get out and about. Remember to be cheerful though as people do not want to be with someone who is miserable as a rule.

Thank you everyone
I can't believe this is me, doing all these things that I thought I'd never do - (walking, painting my toenails, opening my windows at home....)Now, going out after work - eek! (nervous eek) I'll come back tomorrow, if I don't embarrass myself!

Thing is pulp - I think people imagine I have this 'other life' outside work as I am cheery and smiley at work, so when i say I've got lots on at the weekend, or have somewhere to go on a friday night rather than going out for a drink after work, people seem to believe it.

I've got myself in a right lonely mess and have to get out of it!

God, I really do feel better for writing it down here, I've never admitted that I pretend to have a busy weekend, and pretend to have friends ever before. I can just sit on my sofa from Firday night to Sunday night and not see or speak with a soul.

I want to change it.

I just wanted to add my little bit. I have a DH and 2 DC's and I feel very very lonely at times. I have no family (I don't see my parents or sisters, haven't for 4 years) and no real friends, just many aquaintances.

I just wanted you to know that it's not just you and that people in different circumstances to you can still feel very lonely.

I'm glad you're taking steps to make your life different. That's the only way it'll happen, by making small changes here and ther which over time will turn into a big change. Good Luck

Hiya, just wanted to say, well done on going out for a drink. You won't embarrass yourself, they wouldn't have asked you if they didn't like your company. Sounds like you are getting out there. Perhaps you could take a stroll to the library this weekend?

Writing stuff down really helps, and remembering that deep down most people are plagued with insecurities.

Have a great time tomorrow, let us know how you get on.

Its a difficult balance IMO- pulp is right, its a great idea to be cheerful and positive as people are often drawn towards that type of person. However, if you don't tell people you are feeling lonely, then they may not realise how much you would appreciate being 'reached out' to.

Maybe a good approach is to be cheerful initially, then once you have established a friendship you can think about opening up a little.

I can see how easy it is to pretend to have a busy weekend when in fact you don't. Don't let it worry you!!

If you make it for one drink tomorrow and leave without crying in the pub (crying as soon as you have left is fine, by the way) then you will have done us all proud.

Do you need to think up a 'reason' not to stay long?

Isallshit

I have just seen this thread and wow! Well done you!

I hope you have a good night out and that this is the start of a new you....... you are more beautiful than you think....

You are extremely brave for getting this far.

Keep going x

Isallshit- just wanted to know I am thinking of you and cheering you on tonight.

I hope you will come back and let us know how it goes.

Hello! I've been dying to post all day!

It went really well! I didn't cry, or mess up, or blurt out that I'm lonely as hell either!

Apologies for rapid bursts of exclamation marks, they may well continue!

We went to the wine bar near work (do they still call them 'wine bars'?) and there were about five of us, got stuck into the wine and everyone was just chatting about work things, what everyone was doing at the weekend, things they're thinking of buying... it was like being in the office, but outside of it!

I said I could stay for a couple as I had a Tescos delivery coming and everyone was asking if I had anything nice coming, so I felt bad about lying.

When they asked what I was doing over the weekend, I just said I was shopping today, then doing some gardening, then I might be meeting a friend for lunch on Sunday. I just said it all, but felt bad about lying.

So today - (I can't believe this), I've been out doing some gardening. I can't believe I forced myself to get outside and do something. Well, I do, because I've taken to heart all the advice from here and I've thought about nothing else all week. I went out and pulled up weeds and cut the grass and sweated a gallon! (tmi, sorry!)

Last night, when I said it was time for me to go home, one of the others said she'd get the bus with me as she lives along the way, which I didn't know. I can't tell you how strange it was to be walking down the road with soemone and then chatting to them on the bus. This hasn't happened for ages. AGES! I know it must seem hard to believe as these things are normal to most people.

I can't believe I did it!

Thank you everyone for spurring me on and giving me the push I need. I don't think most weeks will be like the past one I've just had, but I am thinking maybe I could walk tomorrow to the shops. The library isn't open tomorrow, but maybe next Saturday I'll pop in. I'm rambling now, but thinking of nice things to do. I daren't read this all back, or I'll change it, it's fromt he heart.

Thank you everyone again

Didn't post before, but read the thread with interest, hope and sympathy - reading you're last post was great! What fabulous news isallshit - it's great you had such a good time, I'm really pleased for you!

Another big fan of gardening here by the way - didn't know what I was doing to start off with but I've got some lovely pots now and I've just planted my first rose bush (they're called Jude the Obscure which I love). Gardening is a positive and theraputic pastime all round.

Reading is my other strong recommendation - novels - doesn't have to be high brow. It's made an enormous difference to my life.

isall - so pleased that you enjoyed your evening. Also agree with GoldenNotebbok about gardening and reading - as well as being great pastimes they are good topics of conversation as well.
Please keep in touch!

MyGoldenNotebook - thank you and how funny you should mention pots as I cleared a space that was full of weeds (it's a small space really) and about an hour ago, when I was looking at it, I thought that I could get a couple of pots and plant things in them!

I hope your garden is taking shape nicely - any other literary influences growing in there?

Thank you gailforce1 - I meant to post last night, but when I got in, I was exhausted. Ridiculous I know as most people do much more, but I fell asleep alomst straight away.
I was nervous about going out (I got almost no work done yesterday either!) I hope you're having a good weekend

MyGoldenNotebook - I was just wondering...

Are they 'Hardy' perennials?!

(sorry!) it just struck me, that joke has probably been made a hundred times..

Ha ha - that's a good joke! :-) Not heard it before either.

I'm just hoping to keep them alive to be honest - I've suffered lots of plant death due to inexperience (none of last years lavender survived) but think I'm getting better.

No other flowers with literary names but that could be a project couldn't it? (I'm sad like that). Will follow the idea up ... I wonder if there are Bronte Daisies and Keats Sun Flowers ... worth looking in to.

Really glad you had a good time itsall.

Just as well you got some of your gardening done today, the weather here has been very wet tonight.

Have a nice day tomorrow X

Hi Isallshit, how are you doing this week?

Hello Isallshit, how are you getting on?