Very sad

[isallshit]

Who cares about me?
No one

Who have I seen today?
no one

Who is thinking about me?
no one

Hello all - thank you for your lovely advice!

Well, I went out to the shops today, not the local ones just round the corner, the slightly further away ones, so it was a bit of a walk! Clothes a bit tight as I've not worn them since last year, but I've decided I'm going to use them as a measure, just so I can see if I can get back to my weight last year.

So, in a nutshell, I went for a walk! (a short one!) Got the windows open at home now (something I also don't ususally do, not sure why) so I'm getting the fresh air in. It's nice

I really let it all out last night, admitting things I never have, thank you all for listening. I want to make things better, so I'm starting today.

Forgot to add - I've also done two loads of washing of summery clothes so I try and stop hiding in wintery ones and in a minute am getting out the nail polish to do my toes

WELL DONE YOU.

Excellent news!

Well done

Glad to hear you are having an OK day. BTW for a meet up or just because you want to you can name change (I have to disguise personal stuff).

hello, I have read your thread through and am glad you are feeling better...

while I agree with everyone that your weight is a symptom rather than the cause of your unhappiness I wanted to say that if you joined Slimming World or WW I PROMISE that no-one will look sideways at you. Everyone there is there because they are overweight and don't want to be. All they are thinking about is their own weight problem and how they look and feel so you are all in the same boat and focused on your own issues

Have you ever heard the saying that you should do one thing every day that scares you? This could be anything from saying hello to a neighbour in the street to joining a group. It is a fantastic way to transform your outlook on an ongoing basis.

Hello MrsBoogie, well, the thought of joining a slimming club fills me with such total fear, but I won't rule it out. Maybe if I can get a little bit fit first, then it won't be such a daunting thing? From what everyone has said though, they're not such scary places, so I am definitley thinking about it. I would never have considered it if so many mnetters hadn't recommended it on this thread.

As a starting point though, I've taken the advice on here and have dipped into the MN slim/fat/whatever motivational thread, so I'll see how that goes.

I vow not to be as down as I was last night ever again!

Glad to see you're feeling a bit more positive today . This is the link for the walking website here. Worth sending for the pack anyway - I always find new stuff helps to give me a bit of a kick up the arse. Keep posting x

Oh wow, Surprise, that looks really good that website, I'm off to have an indepth look at it. Thank you!

Isallshit have you thought about joining the WI? It's not all jam and jerusalem nowadays.Our local group is great - mainly ladies ranging from 28-55 and costs about £26 to join for the year.There are lots of ladies who go on their own and we have some brilliant nights.We have a speaker once a month - anything from belly dancing to bra fitting and then there are the different sub-groups - book club,cinema and theatre group,walking group etc who usually meet either onced a week or once a fortnight.
I never thought it would be my cup of tea but it's brilliant and I've made some lovely friends.

Morning isallshit (and everyone else feeling a bit low this weekend). Have you thought of anything nice you could do for yourself today? A walk maybe.

I think bank hol weekends can make those of us in a lonely place feel even more so.

I am on my own with DS (3) this weekend. I am running out of fun ideas and am feeling lonely this morning, but am determined to make today lovely for him.

I am thinking of you itsallshit, and everyone struggling today.

Sorry to hear you are feeling down. Have you eliminated any physical reason for the depression - one side effect of being overweight is an underactive thyroid which can certainly make you feel lethargic and depressed and can be discovered by a simple blood test at your G.P. Its far easier to make small changes than think MUST go on a drastic diet like anything seen on pages of Hello, OK etc - starting to walk more, cutting out a sugary cereal and replacing it with eg porridge, or even replacing one meal with a home made soup - just small steps but helpful.

What a great thread this is!

I've nothing to add to all the wonderful advice here, except to say isallshit, you sound like a lovely person, and how brave you are to share your fears and worries here.

Hope you have a lovely day, and would love to hear more from you.

Like everyone says - small steps can lead to great changes.

Isallshit - take up the offers from the folks at work. People never ask you to come out if they can't stand your company. They really don't.

If you finish work at 6pm, maybe you could do a white lie and say oh i've got to be home by 8.30pm so you put a structure around the evening. Then if it's all going swimmingly and you're enjoying it you can stay a bit later.

And it sounds as if the weight thing bothers you. Although it's a bit difficult to tell from a distance, you can make some rapid progress on that front. What are your deivls? Choccy? chips? booze?

Why don't you have family by the way? None at all?

Devils

Isallshit - how are you? Still thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling positive. Come back and let us know if you are ok.

Please do Itsallshit.
Would be great to hear how you are doing.

Isall, how you doing?

I've not stayed away, I've read this through loads!

Sadsue - I love your idea of WI as there's all ages and shapes and sizes, I have actually looked into it and I now know where the local branch is. I'm tempted.

Also - oh my god, I'm going to go out with the girls from my office tomorrow. I said to them (a la coolfonz) that I have something else to do, but I'm going to be out tomorrow at about 5.30 for a drink,I am scared! I know its silly but they did the normal sweep of the office and I said yes, I would. I am scared. I know you won't laugh, but I am.

Do something each day that scares yourself as a lovely poster said (if I read back right now, I may cry)

Coolfonz - I really have no family, apart from my lovely brother who lives abroad. And, um, it's cheese and bread and crisps and northern chips that gets me every time!

I want to say once again, thank you every one of you for making such good suggestions and also getting me to think of better things.

I nearly forgot to say, I've walked twice this week too (not very far) but it's a difference. And I went into Waterstones, but I just looked at books, it felt too much to do more. I felt like I was taking on too much to look into joining a book club or go to an authour talk. I know it's there though, I really want to do it when I know I can do it more than once.

Thank you all again x

Sorry, I forgot to answer the grinch - nope, it's just overeating that does it for me. I know I eat enough for about four (or more) people.

Wheresmypaddle - what did you and your DS end up doing? I hope you had a good time, you sound such a nice person that I bet you both did something fun. x

Olivia- I'm feeling more scared about going out for a dink tomorrow than making the change of going for a walk! Small changes are terrifying! They sound so easy, I was more scared putting on shoes to walk in than actually walking.

Walking was for about 10 minutes there, 10 minutes back!

isallshit 20 minutes is just right, and then you can gradually do more if you want.

That's so true about it being more scary putting on the shoes than doing the walking! I often get really nervous about doing new things, stressing about being on time, knowing where I'm going, etc, then suddenly once I've made the first step it turns out to be FINE.

Have fun tomorrow.

Yay to hear from you Isallshitgettingbetter.
Very happy to hear you have been taking steps (baboom-tish).

Changes are terrifying all right. But the risk is worth it, IMO. Enjoy your drink with the girls tomorrow evening. Very good strategy to have an "out" if you need it, really lessens the pressure. please let us know how you got on

Hello Isallship

I just saw this thread and I want you to know you are not alone.

I have not read the whole thread, but like others I am also going through a very lonely period in my life. I think if hits many woman in their 30s and 40s. Unlike you, I have a small DD, but it doesn't really help with the overall feeling of being alone in life. One thing that is helping me is to accept that my life may not be how I want it, but that I should take pleasure in small things in life, and not dwell on how alone I feel.

Things are a bit better now, but used to hate it when people at work would ask me about my weekend - because the honest answer was that many of my weekends were (and sometimes still are) spent completely alone with DD.

I think it helps to realise that not everyone has a perfect life with an adoring husband, loving family and lots of friends.

Isall - hope you enjoy your drink tomorrow night. Come back and let us know how it goes!