Very sad

[isallshit]

Who cares about me?
No one

Who have I seen today?
no one

Who is thinking about me?
no one

Book club sounds ok! how do I find out about them?

swim? oh my god no! I'm the size of a whale!

Go to salsa. All shapes and sizes believe you me. You don't need a partner.

I go on my own like a lot of others. I saw a lady last night who I say hello to. She has lost 3 stone (going to weightwatchers aswell). I know several other curvier ladies who are fab dancers and they are on the dance floor all night.

I also go walking with my ipod on. I found a local nordic walking group which is great too. Walking is a great low impact exercise and been outside really helps your mood.

Try the church? Find one where you see people go in and join them. Google find a church and see if they have a website.
They would love to have you.
Even if you are not a Christian you will find fellowship

YOU HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS ON HERE...AND ANYTIME YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, WE ARE HERE [SMILE]

SHIT...MY SMILEY DIDNT WORK

Go and see a therapist, it sounds as if you have strayed off your path, and need some help getting back on it. Life can be very lonely, at various points, but this will pass.

Walking is also an excellent idea. I do an hour every day. Good luck.

isallshit - you mention your weight a few times as being a reason not to do things, so maybe that would be a good thing to concentrate on for a new lease of life? I know it takes a lot of effort (done a bit of it myself) and for that you need to be in a good, motivated place, but even signing up for weight watchers or similar would mean you would get out and meet some new people.

And the exercise part would get you the fresh air, endorphins and I bet you'd start feeling more positive really quickly.

Then after that you can concentrate on building up a bigger social circle (if you haven't already through ww etc or an exercise class).

Thank you everyone!
really kind of you all to have really good advice

yes, weight is a problem, makes me retreat into myself and it seems everyone else in the world (big exaggeration!) can control their eating.

Walking sounds ok, I can do that by myself

Joining weight watchers scares the beejesuss out of me

I'm not a church kind of person

Therapy? I wouldn't know where to begin or get it from

I want to change and find some friends but I hope it's not too late. I don't know where to begin

Thank you everyone for your advice, I've been lurking on Mumsnet for ages but wanted to post for advice for a long time

Not sure how to do a smily (have seen all the tries at it!) But you have made me smile a bit! x thank you

Hi isallshit,
I hope you're ok. I know where you're coming from. Sometime life seems too crappy for words and the easiest thing to do is feel like it's never going to get better. But it will. I'm not one of those cheery optimist types that is a obnoxious as a childrens tv presenter, but I try and find one good thing in the sea of shit that's out there. Even if it's just knowing that someone on the bus looked at me and thought "Jesus, at least I don't look as rough as her".(I can't get the bloody smiley face to work.)
Whether you are aware of it or not, you being around has a positive impact on someones life.
I'm a tubby girl(not one of the jolly ones, more the type with the sarcastic/witty comment at the tip of my tongue) but I'm a nice person and I feel that you are too. Give yourself a break, try to do something good for yourself. Sometimes we are our own worst critics.

Therapy - see your GP or find one privately in the yellow pages. If you go private, they charge by the hour. Think of it like a driving lesson.

Right, let's have a go, you've all made me smile when (no sympathy,please) was crying earlier

[amile]

oh no!

try again!

I'm also not a church person but I attended a church play group that was run by the vicar (a woman too) and I met loads of people like me who were members of the church. I did think that if I could get over my atheism that they were all really nice and I would enjoy doing the teas and cake sales etc..

It might be worth considering though only after finding out about book groups (library could be a good source of info), possible craft clubs (if you live near a supplies shop they know of good active craft groups).

I think we all feel lonely from time to time, there are lots of people on here all the time for a chat or to bounce ideas off. I hope you get a burst of energy soon

isallshit, someone once said to me something which made a huge difference to my life - "if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got". You can change how things are. There is some really good advice on this tread already. Go for it, and things will be better

isallshit, I will let you into a little secret.
About 5 years ago I felt pretty much the same as you...no real friends, unhappy with the way I looked, no self esteem whatsoever.
So i went onto a tv programme, 10 Years younger.
I had botox, fillers, laser treatment, new teeth, new hairstyle, new clothes...thinking it would make me happy, change my life completely.
But, you know what, it didnt change my life. Yeah, everyone i knew watched it and commented, but I was the same person underneath the make up. My life didnt completely change overnight...I knew deep down that how I looked was only half the problem. I had to learn to like myself as a person before other people could like me. I had to force myself to stop being shy and make the first move towards others.
Changing my appearance did not change me...so in your case, losing weight may boost your confidence, but you will still have to like yourself before you feel happy again.

Daft as it sounds, I never thought of the library for a book club. Shows how much of a bubble I've been living in. Will it be on a notice board there? Can I just go in and have a look at their notice board? that's a really silly question I know. I'm so out of touch.

If I joined a book club, do I have to join at a specific time, or can I come in the middle of them all reading a book? (any advice welcome)

corabear's 'sea of shit' sums it up well, nothing has gone well recently.

Thank you all for your advice (won't attempt another smily) x

Well sometimes local bookstores run them so you could ask at your nearest store, I know Waterstones run them.

And yes go to the library - it is a great idea. I joined mine and it has been great - and it is free.

And here is a smiley for you

Oh and what about Yoga - you can do beginners yoga and believe you me it takes all shapes and sizes, it is quite good for clearing your thoughts and the time can go in no time.

Look on the notice board, and ask the librarian and they usually have a stash of leaflets somewhere advertising local events, hobbies and classes, some free, some not.

Also chat to the people there, tell them you have recently moved there and ask for some suggestions (if you are feeling really brave!)

And it is never too late to find friends.. honestly it is not... but you do need to get out and find them.

Bubble1 - wow, what a story, how are you now?

How did you overcome being shy?

(you don't have to answer any of those questions, they're really personal)

I can't ever imagine there'll come a time when I'm thin and beautiful, but I hope there comes a day when I accept that this is how it's going to be.

when it comes to walking - how much is a good walk? Say a mile? Is that a good walk? How do you know how far you've walked? I am nervous about looking like I'm walking somewhere when all I'm doing is round the block! (sorry for another daft question)

www.nordicwalking.co.uk Looks like there may be a couple of instructors in your area.

There are some friends threads here on Mumsnet for ladies who are supporting each other to lose weight/get fit. There are a few different bunches they are lovely and I am sure would welcome a new friend in their club.

Sorry for all the daft questions

I feel much better from earlier, thank you everyone

wukter - which threads are these?
(am hopeless at finding these things)