Note from a bloke...

[Coolfonz]

Hi.
I've read quite a few of these threads here over the last months. And - assuming everything in them is accurate - they make me feel sick.

These terrible, awful, disastrous men who are ruining women's lives - and the various children as well - deserve nothing from you. Nothing at all.

The gamblers, the drinkers, the facebook affair-ers, the playfighters, the beaters/slappers/pushers and shovers are just vile vile men. The ones who convince you its your fault/the kids fault/society's fault, who ring you crying/screaming/mocking, tell you you've got it easy/easier/easiest they are just utter utter bastards. Seriously.

There are plenty of reasonable men out there, many not perfect, I'm not, but plenty who will treat women correctly.

I've also known enough reprobates and idiot men myself, some of my friends even, to know when a woman should go.

I want to reply to all these awful threads on here but I would only say one thing over and over again...

PLEASE LEAVE THEIR SORRY FUCKING ARSES AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

This guy seems to be being gently mocked but I don't see why.

I left a 'sorry arse' as he says, and it helps me to believe that the ordinary decent men (who I still think are the majority) are also appalled by violence and abuse.

what are you on about dikkobat??

"I'm no misogynist but..."

let me guess..some of your best friends are women?

Ignore, msboogie. I suspect he frequents a car forum

Hi all. I am a bloke & new here

I too echo Coolfonzs' sentiment.

Having personally recognised the ability to "be a total shit" many years ago, I consider myself very fortunate to have met a woman, who has made me complete.

Sounds a bit twee, but it really is the truth.

I'm not without hangups, I'm human & hopefully I can get some insight/help on those things in the coming months (I'm not a nutter ;) ).

What I learned in my late 20's early 30's was that I had the ability to leave a wake in my search for a relationship (which was what I really, really wanted), for good or bad.

Having read a lot of the posts by women on here, the things their OH's have said, I wince as I recall my past trotting-out of a lot of that old guff.

Through a combination of a decent upbringing by mum & dad, conscience, honesty & self-respect however, I managed not to wreck the immediate lives of a fair few women, some potentially vulnerable, whist I satisfied my need for a shag (I wasn't perfect though ).

I honestly think that a lot of guys today would jump at the chance of a sound & solid relationship, but for some reason, media, peer pressure, alcohol etc etc, they are unable to deliver.

What concerns me now entering my 40's , are the values to which young men seem to aspire. They often leave little scope for the foundations of a sound relationship. I know it's a two-way street, but that's another bag.

None of what I write here is meant as a boast & I don't mean to be an attention-whore (really).

Anyhoo, thanks for reading & I hope to be able to contribute to this site in some way.

Sorry for the long post. Keep up the good work.

Message deleted

If coolfonz was only after a shag I imagine there are easier ways of going about it...

welcome thatbloke

Welcome ThatBloke

Message deleted

I like it when decent blokes post on here...

Yeah, me too

So why are the majority of us men pathetic then? Any theories?

I am reflecting on whether the men I work and socialise with are likely to be all "no goods" at home. I am also wondering whether TMommy would post that I am a shite husband. I think that I am very hard working and diligent at home and work but I think she probably thinks I just about make the grade on occasions.

P.S. I had to Google MDMA to work out that it is the chemical name for Ecstasy. Can't imagine that calling it MDMA helps your street credit Coolfonz.

I don't actually think the majority of men are pathetic. But a sizeable majority are nasty, really nasty, and quite a few more are, while not dreadful people, content enough to accept the benefits of living in a society that considers men more important than women: when it comes down to it, they will put their own needs first and expect their female partners to accept this.

Thatbloke - yes, i think that the best thing that you can do is ensure that your sons treat girls equally and that your daughters assert their equality. My little girl has has had some problems at school - although she is feminine, I have encouraged her to be sporty and not to be pink and fluffy. She is very good at karate and plays in the boys cricket and football teams at school. Her seven and eiight year old class mates don't like it much so she has had to be friends with boys and older girls.

we are sowing the seeds of the next generation of male brats unless we sort out our sons attitudes at a very young age!

The sizeable majority are nasty? Really? I refuse to believe that. Yes, there are nasty people out there (of both genders)... but the majority? I don't believe so.

Hear, hear.. My DH thoroughly agrees with you ( as do I obviously). Lovely that you have taken the time to post it.

I don't think most men are shits

And I am a vociferous "woman's-woman"

Some men are, some women are

But more men are < ahem >, especially when women make excuses for them

I see that, time and time again, I am afraid

SGB's comment that a sizeable majority of men are nasty has really bothered me.

Really? Not the men I know. DH, brothers, friends, friends' partners - all pretty decent, normal human beings. They have their foibles, but 'nasty'?

I can even think of a few 'nasty' episodes. Often (but not always) as a result of youth, ignorance, drink, insecurity or a mixture of any of these factors and others. But nothing as deeply nasty as the degree of remorse felt by these decent men would truly merit.

I am more than aware that some women have suffered, and continue to suffer the most appalling abuse from some men. But I cannot accept that these men are the majority.

Oh dear

Sizable minority. As you were...

Coolfonz - can we have MrsCoolFonz posting and vouching here

When last have you:

-taken the bins out?
-done the supermarket shopping?
-made the packed lunches
-cooked meals for a week straight
-done the early shift with the kids for a month straight
-folded/ironed the clothes
.......

"P.S. I had to Google MDMA to work out that it is the chemical name for Ecstasy. Can't imagine that calling it MDMA* helps your street credit Coolfonz."

Sir, I think you'll find my street cred can be raised little further due to its already unwieldy and outrageous heights.

*Methyldioxymethamphetamine...or just...mmmmmyumyummmmm

SGB... was a little worried you were going to come back with some fantastic and irrefutable statistics about the majority of people being nasty... phew!

Hah! ok...

taken the bins out?
today, i recycle plastic bags as bins, hate big bins they always stink, so i whack out the rubbish pretty often. Mrs Fonz does too.

-done the supermarket shopping?
Mrs Fonz to my knowledge has never done a big shop at the supermarket on her own in 13 years. Many small ones yes, but no biggies. i am Mr Big Shop, had the same French supermarket big tough canvas bags for yonks, like 5 years.

-made the packed lunches - Previous Mrs Fonz's kid had packed lunches made, but she is now 22 so she doesnt need my help and my new one is 11 months so he's not out to work for another seven months.

-cooked meals for a week straight
No i dont reckon i have done. Maybe on the odd occasion, we try and take it in turns but Mrs F has been doing more cooking recently. tonight i cooked the pork chops & peas and Mrs F did the spuds/carrots.

-done the early shift with the kids for a month straight
do i look mad? we take it in turns. having said that unlocking his cage and separating him from his surrogate wolf-parents does make a lively start to the day.

-folded/ironed the clothes
i iron my own ones, mainly before going out and looking good. i get my shirts dry cleaned tho. to my knowledge Mrs Fonz has never ironed shit for me in 13 years, she is from the countryside and they don't like to look smart you see

Coolfonz - think that is a marginal grade in the test above. I have seen some ultra super dad's on MN; seriously.

You are such a young 45!