Note from a bloke...

[Coolfonz]

Hi.
I've read quite a few of these threads here over the last months. And - assuming everything in them is accurate - they make me feel sick.

These terrible, awful, disastrous men who are ruining women's lives - and the various children as well - deserve nothing from you. Nothing at all.

The gamblers, the drinkers, the facebook affair-ers, the playfighters, the beaters/slappers/pushers and shovers are just vile vile men. The ones who convince you its your fault/the kids fault/society's fault, who ring you crying/screaming/mocking, tell you you've got it easy/easier/easiest they are just utter utter bastards. Seriously.

There are plenty of reasonable men out there, many not perfect, I'm not, but plenty who will treat women correctly.

I've also known enough reprobates and idiot men myself, some of my friends even, to know when a woman should go.

I want to reply to all these awful threads on here but I would only say one thing over and over again...

PLEASE LEAVE THEIR SORRY FUCKING ARSES AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

He's stoned

I see where youre coming from fonz, I wont settle for anything less than perfect in a man. At least my perception of perfect. (which is incidentaly my man. He's lush.

Oh look sure...I did say I'm not perfect. It was me that mentioned smoking weed etc.

But some people can handle drugs - mainly by not overdoing it and not touching cocaine or becoming an alcoholic - in fact most people who do them can handle them. There are quite a few (million) of us.

Is it sad? I dunno. I just like it/them. The missus doesn't touch them, she doesn't mind. I realise I'm lucky in that regard, loads of women wouldn't go near me. No biggie. Never had a problem with women in that regard.

Ecstacy is more of a set piece thing, don't do it that often, three four times a year. Drugs aren't a big deal to me, I was just trying to say, look I'm no angel. I'm not Richard Gere in AOAAG...

But these men, ranting and raving and beating women, it's just gross-out central.

Dont discriminate though fonz, whats wrong with cocaine?

My DH is perfect

Coolfonz, you sound like a shitebag.

Casual law breaking. You are just too cool.

Are you Robert Smith?

I didn't know you were a bloke fonzy. I liked you before, anyway.

(remembers horrid bnp threads)

anyway well said. Please send any of your nicer blokey friends our way, there's a dear..

Look, I've made an error talking about myself.

No I'm not lazy. I do tons of shit around the gaff, cooking, making dough, grooving with the baby (oh that reminds me i left him in the drawer!! ) I don't get stoned in the day time...

If you'd like to join my fan club you can meet me at www.coolfonzhesjustsofabulousthepotheadtwat.com

But I'd rather return to my original point that these men on here are bad apples. And they should not be tolerated by women...don't try and reform them, fuck them off...

Even if he were the worst sort of horrible bloke, though, surely writing this OP would still be a good thing?

I am in favour anyway.

Are you having a midlife crisis or have you just never grown up? I cannot take the words of a 45 year old who uses the words "grooving" and "gaff", in a way I am not sure is ironic, seriously.

I say 'gaff'. Is that odd? I'm 31 btw.

Depends on the context. Are you stoned? Do you groove? Do you think you are a character from an 70's American sitcom?

Not everyone starts out with the intention of dating an unsuitable man. I knew my ex for ten years before we got together and always saw him as a lovely and decent man. Once I fell pregnant with ds I saw a whole other side that I could never have envisaged. Luckily I had the financial abiity to be a single mum without support. A lot of women don't and so maybe hang on in there hoping against hope that things will improve.

As for there being 'plenty of reasonable men out there' I'd love to know where. Single for 6 years and the only offers I get are from married men (which I have no interest in).

No. But I am from essex, where 'gaff' is a fairly often used word for 'abode' I don't think I'm stoned How does one 'groove'?

You don't groove with your kids ? Heheheh. I'm just being informal. I do say gaff though, both as an item to catch fish and as slang for place.

Sorry if folks don't like the drugs stuff, life is full of greys...

As an aside...mate of mine same age, we went to school. Great Dad, been with his missus 20 years, triplets, takes them to football, karate whatever, loves them to bits, loves his in-laws (I know!), commercial lawyer, earns good wedge. Alcoholic. Drinks every day, can handle it, missus doesn't drink, his liver is fucked at 45...you know, stuff happens. Moralising over intoxicants is very last century, behaviour is more important. But I do wish he'd stop...

Lord knows. Ask Fonzy over there, he's a Man Who Knows. If he isn't too bonged up to the eyeballs.

Mollie, I was only getting offers from older men and then yesterday I wore some very short shorts and had several raised eyebrows and smiles, including from a rather young student

The answer is to let it all hang out, I think

Mind you cooly if you carry on with those full stops I will get confused. It reminds me of someone else, can't think who....

Hang on, is 'grooving' that sort of Dad dancing drunk men do? With their index finger extended?

Long term 'weed' usage is bad too though. You are probably a few puffs away from a Che Guevera tattoo and a Zippo lighter with a cannabis leaf, because being a 'professional' , like, you can get all the classy gear, no "10 for a paaaand" bics for you! I bet you are the envy of all the students with a top of the range grinder.

Where do you stash your DC when you're getting stoned?

Nah FLoight, he's not using them nearly as often. And he does proper paragraphs!

And yes finances are important in just upping and leaving an abusive man, I understand that.

I have/had friends who treated women badly. I have one who moved to Bangkok and now has a 24 year old girlfriend..."western women are so demanding" he actually said that to me over Skype. It was more disillusioning than him telling me he was marrying my Mum. It's depressing.

I had a welter of others who did too much coke, did their flats/relationships/kids up their nose/in a pipe. Very sad. But no woman should have to put up with that shit. If Mrs Fonz turned around to me and said ok enough with the herb you div then it would be up to me, my lookout...

So I know a fair share of idiots as well...

And no I'm not stoned. I did have some Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Yadayada coffee earlier though, if there are any disapproving Mormons on the thread...

Blimey coolfonz - seen you all over place at election time and on the leftie thread and thought you were a woman. Just goes to show.

Yes the amount of fucking pointless men in the world is awful, and some of the stories on here...well.

I think look at a man's relationship with his mother. My awful XP's mother thought the sun shone out of him. I eremember a conversation with XP's sister, where she said as a child everything was done to suit XP. So if XP had eaten all his easter eggs, and XP's sis still had some left, she had to give them to XP. His mother made it very clear that XP was them most important person.

I had no chance with him. His whole persona was fixed. Everything had to be done according to his rules and if not, well he just threw the same tantrum which worked on his motehr 40 years previous.

I also just realised that I know nobody who has ever taken ecstasy. I also loathe pot smokers because I think they are all indolent wasters. But apart from that coolfonz, you seem allright

You have friends who treat women badly? So...why are they your friends?