Note from a bloke...

[Coolfonz]

Hi.
I've read quite a few of these threads here over the last months. And - assuming everything in them is accurate - they make me feel sick.

These terrible, awful, disastrous men who are ruining women's lives - and the various children as well - deserve nothing from you. Nothing at all.

The gamblers, the drinkers, the facebook affair-ers, the playfighters, the beaters/slappers/pushers and shovers are just vile vile men. The ones who convince you its your fault/the kids fault/society's fault, who ring you crying/screaming/mocking, tell you you've got it easy/easier/easiest they are just utter utter bastards. Seriously.

There are plenty of reasonable men out there, many not perfect, I'm not, but plenty who will treat women correctly.

I've also known enough reprobates and idiot men myself, some of my friends even, to know when a woman should go.

I want to reply to all these awful threads on here but I would only say one thing over and over again...

PLEASE LEAVE THEIR SORRY FUCKING ARSES AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

AF that you could take me seriously!

You should be serious!

Sorry for posting tongue in cheek I though that given my own circs it'd be obvious!

oops, crunchy, I did misread you and thought I might have offended

I had my apologies all ready, and everyfink

I am sensitive to your situation and thought I might have played a bum note

am just home from work, not in MN friday night wine zone yet

< pours wine >

AF I am thoroughly offended

You know my thoughts on your loveliness

(Disclaimer - that doesn't mean I won't think you're wrong sometimes, just that you're lovely with it, oh, and I have yet to decide you're wrong)

Can I come home and start again ?

No, it's too late for that. You've been judged.

" You're just good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you........" ha.

just glad you didn't bang on about the male hegemony - that would have blown it totally, man.

much? Wish you'd thought of it first?

Crunchie: < Honesty is always the way to go for me. I can get past anything. Forgive anything. As long as that person is honest with me. >
= signal of abuseable person.

Just saying ... leaving the party now, keep the noise down, folks [gets back in patrol car, switches on warning lights as needs to get to Aldi before closing]

I know Grace... I know.

I meant that in an accepting Hanging-my-head kind-of a way. Rather than a Na-na-na-na-na fingers-in-my-ears way.

I really appreciate all the support you've given me in the past 6 months Gracie.

So many posters

So many similar thoughts.

Would almost think some of them could be the same person

sweet

I'm all the same person. And so is my mum!

Hmm, think coolfonz is more the norm than what is posted on here.

But then you are only likely to post if you have a problem.

Me and dp have our minor probs, but he would never disrespect/hit/cheat/shirk finances (whatever else springs to mind).

Dp also likes a 'smoke' and is a professional, I do not partake anymore (but in the past have had a smoke with with police, solicitors (the director of a law firm) etc), I prefer a wee sherry at the weekend.

Is this not mainly the 'norm' for most?

We still entertain/provide for the kiddies.

Surely we all need our time out, or if you are in an (or even semi) abusive relationship do you not get your time for indulgences?

Not meant to offend anyone, just curious.

Mais oui

I like to think we are each born with a certain capacity for drugs, alcohol, coffee, insanely hard work, random travelling, extreme sports and all those other fun things. I reached my "full up" level for drugs somewhere in my early thirties, am nowhere near the top of my coffee & travelling tubs, but have been at top-and-tilt level on alcohol and insanely hard work for the past five years.

I seem to have an infinite capacity for cigarettes but have been told, by wiser people, I'll know when I get there. I'm currently rather worried: I seem to have discovered a whole new, empty tub labelled 'Gardening'

Oops, I was so busy measuring my 'tubs', I forgot to reply to your Q:
Don't be daft. It's one of abuse's fundamental tenets that, IF you are allowed to enjoy yourself, you will either be punished for it or be grateful for it.

whats your phone number and how soon can u get here

I just wanted to bump this thread to say:

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please get rid of all these shonky, pathetic, fuckbags of men that populate these pages. Fucking ditch them. Move, up sticks, emigrate, do a Reggie Perrin and fake your own deaths, anything but tolerate these bunch of weirdos.

Afterwards if you just want some broad shoulders and facial hair for a night of good luvvin' then just do it, nothing wrong there.

If you want a serious fireplace/sheepdog/rug relationship then SET YOUR SIGHTS HIGH!! As high as you can.

All these grufty fucking men are - as you may note - doing my nut somewhat. Wrong uns the lot of them. Zero tolerance for the gruftys...

I get very depressed at the number of women who seem to think that any relationship, no matter how bad, is better than none at all.

Also, the number of women in their early twenties who are desperate to settle down "before it's too late". Then pick useless men, because their desperation signals are screaming. It makes me sad that they seem to feel the need for a man to make them happy, as if they can't be happy on their own. I thought this would change as we became more enlightened and women more and more financially independent, but no, it seems to be regressing.

Fantastic Coolfonz! I am with you on this one I would defenitley put my DH up on here with you. Yes there are still some decent men out there!

Coolfonz, what a fantastic post

Can we have a 'Room 101' where we put their initials and age at least?

Nah, didn't think so! Shame though.

Seriously - I think the faking your own death option is really the way to go for some women on here - just so long as they have cancelled any insurance the bastard could profit from, should said scheme go according to plan...

Low self esteem and an inability, or an unwillingness, to listen to their instincts

That's the problem with most of the women in these dire relationships.

Been there - several times.

Not going there again.