Internet pornography

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I discovered on my husband's laptop that one night while I was sleeping he was looking at internet porn. Not so bad ,you think!, it get's worse. On his history of websites and images were sites involving pre-teen girls. I have confronted him and get the usual I don't know why,I'd had too many beers,I don't even like young girls,I didn't get an erection, blah blah blah. It wasn't just one site or one search although he claims they were all linked and he clicked on the link, although I believe you can't do that on google images. Every time I think of it I feel physically sick and don't know what to do. We have 4 boys of 3,10,14 &17. I keep thinking about their friends and girlfriends he will come into contact with. Am I over reacting? What should I do? I have no one to share this with as both my parents died last year. Can anyone help?

If you check the temporary internet history files then you will be able to see exactly which sites he's been on and when, going back months or even years.

Are the sites he's been on actual pre-teen girls or older women who look like young girls - which although quite vile, is legal.

If he's looking at actual child pornography then you must know what you have to do?

pre-teen? child pornography . I don't believe a "normal" man would stray from adult porn to this type of thing out of curiosity or error.

I would hand the laptop to the police and let him explain to them how its all a misunderstnsing and he didn't even get an erection.

And then see a divorce lawyer. I'm sorry, he's a paedophile in thoughts if not in actions and no, you are NOT overreacting.

I'm very sorry - this is horrible for you but you all need to get away from him.

Are child porn sites easily accessible from search engines though?
I would hate to think this could happen - I thought that the reason child porn use is so hard to detect and prosecute was the fact that it's so well hidden?
I know there are those disgusting "barely legal" sites but surely it's not that easy to see child porn?

I'd be going through the laptop with a fine toothed comb by now.

Some porn sites have links to other sites and if it was only one site then he could have ended up there without looking for it as such.

If however it is more sites and more then once I think he has a problem.

I am sorry you are going through this

Unfortunately it's not that simple. We lived with my parents,nursed my father through terminal cancer and my mother died 2 months later waiting for a major heart op. I'm agoraphobic and my eldest and youngest sons have a genetic disorder and learning difficulties. the youngest is really attached to him. Plus we've just completed a mortgage to pay off the one on the house which my parents left to me. I'm trapped in a nightmare.I don't know which way to turn.

What sort of images involving pre teen girls ? What had he actually searched for and how often ?

I dont beleive someone just develops an interest in young girls over night, too many beers or not, it just doesnt happen that way. Maybe hes become quite complacent about it.

Does he download a lot , copy discs ect, or does he have a second hard drive ?

im afraid i would not be able to stay with a man who liked this type of illegal porn. it would make me feel ill, can you seriously turn a blind eye for a quiet life on this?

id have him out and im afraid, id have to shop him.

I am so sorry things are so bad for you, but you need to have a really good think about what you are going to do, I know it is going to have massive impact on your family what ever you do.

I'm sorry but I don't think you can ignore it. Do you think it was just the once ? It doesn't matter whether he gets off on it , others certainly do in the making and watching and he is complicit. If it is found later (by one of the kids for example) you could be implicated too.

Could you call a helpline anonymously such as NSPCC and ask what their advice is ? Meanwhile try to get organised with the household affairs and finances so if worst comes to worst you knwo what's what. There will be a way forwards and support for you. Presumably if needs be you could either sell or move into your parents' place ?

If he has been accessing child porn, (which you haven't actually clarified), then it is that simple.

Your only priority is the safety of your own and other peoples' children.

Have you done as I suggested and checked his internet history files? it will give you dates and times if he has been doing this for a while.
It gives websites visited in date and time order and will help you know if this was a one off "mistake" or something far more sinister.
Porn sites are notoriously linked to others, clicking on a link could potentially lead him to something he didn't want to see, the point is to find out if he immediately left such a site or hung around viewing more pages.

Have you also checked his document and picture folders?
It should be really easy to check whether he is into child porn, it's a compulsion so he would have photos or videos stored somewhere. Start looking.

You can't do anything because you have a mortgage and dc with sn?????

I used to be a police officer....... I have seen with my own eyes what a paedophiles can do , hence I left the force. The paedophile in question had a history of liking young girls, but not actually done enough to get him locked away. Til that day.

You need to do something

Do you have any specific help for your agrophobia ? I'm just wondering if he has somehow conditioned you to be more dependent upon him than is healthy and you feel obliged to be loyal and overwhelmed at the thought of risking this.

The thing is he didn't even say it was an accident - or he got there by following a link that unwittingly led him there. He said he looked but didn't get an erection. He admitted going there with sexual intent.

This does make him a paedophile, I'm afraid and you don't have any option but to take action. You cannot ignore it.

jesus you're all a bit hysterical I think! op said he was looking at preteen sites not child porn..google it and you'll find young ish looking 18+ if american sites and 16+ if european sites, often in cliche school girl, lolipop sucking poses

porn is by it's nature a bit gross to those who aren't into it but if your dh has been accessing sites which are open to anyone to see he's not a criminal. grow up people

'preteen' is very specific.

that's children.

i suppose it's possible to stumble upon that kind of thing if you're on other porn sites.

you need to clarify whether he was looking at legal porn during these internet sessions and the preteen was one page upon many or if he's specifically looking for preteen porn.

if the latter, you need check for downloading. not sure legally if he can be investigated for LOOKING.

either way though, i can't imagine how you could stay with him.

the OP was asked if it was the type of site where you get over 16s or 18s dressed as schoolgirls, which, although, foul and perverse in itself , does not involve the abuse of underage children.

there's a big difference both morally and legally, which everyone who replied is very well aware of.

erm i know it because i look at porn sometimes and am ofay with their phraseology! preteen, barely legal, virgin, etc are exchangeable and all the same

like i say google em, if they're freely available sites then it's not fair to label th op's dh a paedophile and advise her to report him to police and divorce him

like i say total hysteria