Anyone ever had an affair and managed to keep it secret?

[parkranger]

well have you and do you regret it now?

Been lurking through this amazing thread. I have nothing to add that hasn't been said more eloquently by others. Just to say that if you are unhappy with your marriage then having an affair is the worst and most damaging way possible of resolving your future. You show no respect for your spouse, and they will lose much respect for you when they find out. And they will find out!

WWIFN, I'm sure I've said it before, but I wish that I had been here reading your posts when I found out about my wife's affair. They would have given me the resolve that I so desperately needed. You're a star!

to be specific TTL i meant the first 2 pages really.

TTL - I also want to say something to you that might give you some thought. I would have been absolutely horrified if I had gone to a counsellor who was having an affair with a married person herself. I sincerely hope you have acknowledged that terrible conflict of interest and have turned down clients who have been betrayed by infidelity.

Higgle, I suppose it was just so disappointing to see what you'd written, an almost fatalistic acceptance that infidelity is pretty much par for the course in a marriage. If 1 in 4 people will be unfaithful, that still means that 3 in 4 wont.

As for "Parkranger", I imagine she(?) has lost any last shred of sympathy with that last childish post. She only seems interested in shit stirring.

well that was fun

you're a bit of a prat really aren't you. or a troll. hey ho.

What have you been up to parkranger?

Such a shame you're just a casual shag really Parkranger. It must be quite hurtful to think that he/she is probably now in a shower somwhere, desperately scrubbing away any trace of you. Never mind - when you grow up you might be able to maintain a proper relationship with someone who actually respects you and cares for you. Until then, make sure you keep your regular clap clinic appointments. An HVS is a girls best friend

maybe PR doesn't have such a wonderful DH as you do LeQ

I don't see my affair free state as anything to do with 'there for the grace of God go I'...that implies that an affair would be something that the fates force on me...when in fact the only way I would end up having an affair would be for me to choose to have one. I am not being monogamous because the fates chose to smile on me, but because it is something I strongly believe in. I have never cheated, not even in 'casual' relationships, it isn't something I think I am built for. I can't lie for toffee (despite my previous career in marketing!) and could never lie to someone close to me. The thought of being with anyone else makes me feel sick, I have never even contemplated it. I don't like the implication that everyone has considered it even if they won't admit it.

I thin there is a difference between deploring the fact that you are having an affair, and actively celebrating it, that is just plain insensitive.

Agree with everything MrsC2010 said.

I just wanted to say that I was horrified when I noticed OP first post. But I continued to read and joined in with my own thoughts and experiences. I have now caught up after being in work all day and have found it all extremely useful. I have questioned my ex over his motivation for the affair many times and got nowhere. I have never confronted OW as I have no desire to meet or talk to her. However this thread has given me insight into how OW might be feeling and how they could be justifying what they have done. I wish that she could have read all this before embarking on the destruction of my marriage, and it was a very happy one. To see how affairs affect so many people, the ripples caused, the years of pain that follow. I cannot understand how anyone would wish to put another human being through that

Oh Parkranger, here I was trying to be empathetic and you go and post like an utter twat.

I don't think affairs are par for the course or to be expected but I can see how they may come about. I think Parkranger has done some of the women who are torn and desperate on this thread a great disservice with her flippancy.

LL...now you see it

Some of us saw that from the very beginning

OK AF, was just projecting a bit, I spose.

Sorry, Lizzy, don't wanna sound smug-like but it is there in black and white

I am sympathetic to women (and men) in difficult and untenable relationships who look for comfort elsewhere.

But this thread was not posted originally in that vein. As has been borne out by the OP, in quite nasty fashion.

Lizzy, that "sorry" was an apology, not a sarcastic remark. Just wanted to clarify that.

No, you're right, AF.
A clearcut case of seeing what I wanted to see, I guess.

Me thinks the park ranger will soon be the lone ranger.....hi ho silver

It don't matter anyway, Lizzy, Op has shown her true colours here.

Just a pity she had to upset people along the way...

Par for the course really...all in a days work for her, I suposep