Hi all, I gave written on here a few times about my relationship with 'd'p but things have gone from bad to worse and I just wanted some sense that his behaviour isn't acceptable, or that i'm the one that needs to step back.
We have been together for 10 years and we have two gorgeous little boys. Our problems together go back years, but were particulaly bad after we had our first son. I suffered with PND and dp was very dismissive and left me just to get on with it. He had a business at the time that failed and we ended up living with him parents.
His family are wealthy and very controlling of dp, they want him to stay in the area and continue the family fortune. Everytime dp has got himself into financial difficulty, which is numerous times, his family bale him out. He had never really taken any real responsibility for his actions, he knows essentially his family will sort it out. This has put immense pressure on us as I hate the area we live in and don't really like his families interference in our lives.
I however, have neen trying to finish my PhD and worked sporadically and therefore was not in a position to pay for us to move, dp insisted we stayed and kept pressuring me to get a job and finish the PhD. I have now got a job, but work miles away. I have to stay away during the week and come home at the weekends, but the boys are now at school and dp is supposed to have flexibility in his 'job', which is with a family member.
Dp has a very traditional semse of gender roles and finds it difficult that I work away and that I focus on my job so much. He is currently 'punishing' me for being away and although I am home most weekends, holidays and for most of the summer, he still is being, in my opinion, unreasonable.
Now that I am back from work for 3 weeks, dp won't do any thing at all around the house - not that he does much anyway, he comes in really late, and leaves really early. He has taken the car so we are stranded in our village,when he does come home he is usually pissed. He insistes I either sleep with our youngest son in a single bed or on the floor or very small sofa. He won't contribute anything.
Every weekend when I get back he just disappears off and usually rolls in pissed around 7pm. I have to do all the housework left from the week, all the washing, the homework with the boys, shopping - basically everything. However, now he is off, and won't contribute anything.
My job is pretty full-on and I have no time in which to 'recover' before beginning again.
I'm knackered because of our sleeping arrangements, and just feel like a general skivvy.
Do I 'deserve' this behaviour for going away to work? What can I do?
Sorry its long - any advice very much appreciated.