ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No3

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

So exiting, really sorry you can't come Mavis, such a shame. Maybe nearer the time you might find a way ?

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease try and come Maybees and Starting. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE................

No presure.

I hate Tuesdays. H sees Lacey at mine for 2 hrs and I go out, but I'd quite like to just snuggle up in my quilt tbh! At least I get in @ 9 so not too late.

Weird day. Heard a rumour he was seeing someone and I really nasty text him. He's not. I apologised and we are cool, but bugger me this is hard isn't it!

Don't know what to do for Easter hols with dc either, I can't drive so it's limiting.

Lacey has nose drops now, she has been bit snuffly and GP gave me a prescription.

Keep strong everyone, including me!

I was mean you know. Said about getting a divorce and he backtracked an to be fair did not swear back at me or anything. Then an hour later I got a text: 'i find this really hard you know'.

Arrgghh I should not have asked or cared. I seriously cannot bear the thought of him hving a gf. Even though he saw OW when we were together, this is different.

I seriously cannot bear the thought of him hving a gf.

You should celebarte the fact that you've offloaded the useless twunt onto someone else but also pity the gf for the crap he will put her through too.

scorps - I know what you mean. I'm actually not missing H at the moment, but I do dread the moment we get to him meeting other women. I still feel a real sense of possession about him, however well everything else is going

Waves to all...........

Hi Pink, no pressure . Honestly, I really really want to go & will even justify the flights (because I'm worth it), but need to see how things are going re access/sol etc.

Hi Scorps, hope tonight went ok for you. Sending you hugs.

Hi Wet, welcome aboard. Why not introduce yourself & join our merry gang (except during moaning/ranting hours).

Hi Chairmum, well done to you on booking tickets .

Hi Maybees, hope your doing ok. Hugs.

Hi Happy, hope things have gotten a bit easier for you.

Ok bit of a crazy 24hrs but hey if my life wasn't a bit crazy I wouldn't have met you guys !
Set up some positive steps for H to try and give him some stability.Really difficult not to be enabling or co dependant here so if I suggest some things give him phone numbers is that negative behaviour on my part?All about getting him to more suitable accomodation and away from a bad crowd.Anyway the way I see it is if he fucks this up he is on his own.Detatchment with love is something I learned at alanon which basically means I can go thru my daily life disconnected from H and not getting involved emotionally with his drinking.The worry and stress I felt last nite totally confirmed this has been the right thing to do to give my kids a stable mumsy that doesnt breakdown uncontrollably under stress.Instead I have amazing moments of serenity and calmness that I would never have imagined I was capable of. Whatever DADA does I cant control and he knows my boundaries anyway.

Scorps -What were you like after your other kids did you feel ur self esteem took a knock .Mine did dont think I felt back to normal till dd was well over a year.Just felt vulnerable in myself.H used to get fed up with my self doubt not in a nasty way just frustrated he used to say when I smiled I was really prettyOf course his drinking habit didnt make me smile but my point is I do think confidence and happiness are the 2 most attractive things I can change about myself and I found counselling really helpful to get away from a negative self image thought pattern.Then with added fabulosity boost I think you will handle gossip about your X in a stronger way.Work towards staying camn and dignified and STEP AWAY from your phone.
This is all just a stage and it will pass but I do empathise with your feelings ,believe me, I am just learning that I am a better person detatching from those negative feelings and getting on with my own life.Can you do something really indulgent when H has Lacey on a Tuesday TOTAL SCORPS TIME totally positivity plan for next Tuesday now I dare you .........

Any one else got snow we had 3ins and bloody freezing I am going to write and complain .....

Also thought about new business venture ...
The FFS clothing range also WTF and STF ...Big and bold I thought like Frankie says RELAX t shirts ..............
Help people to read my mood of a morning

Well some of ye might remember I commenced operation house in Dec but got side tracked by painter . Any operation house has recommenced with a vengence. Spent most of day scrubbing out & sorting dc's wardropes. Still only half way through! Cannot believe the amount of clothes/crap they have. Have an urge to send a text to relatives telling them wtf are they doing buying all that crap .

I put the same worn clothes on them most days simply because I couldn't access wardropes . Well operation house will sort it all out............

Had to tell sol a few home truths re exh today. Realised I'd still been protecting him & that it was important she should know what she was dealing with. She was . In a way it was another bit of letting go, the only other person who knows everything is my counsellor & telling sol meant there is no way I could ever go back with exh now & also that that would be acceptable to even a small part of my brain! Waves goodbye to fantasy of him crawling back begging forgiveness, convulsed from tears, me blissfully happy but spending eternity trying to forget his twuntish behaviour .

Was just wondering earlier would I ever find the type of love I had with exh again. Was thinking fu*k I prob won't & then I thought course I will, that capacity for love was in me!

Hi Maybees, x post. Glad to hear you're sounding more positive. Alanon would tell you that you H needs to be sorting that stuff out for himself. However, I spent years trying to fix exh (before Alanon) & I know it's v difficult to detach completely from someone you love. Maybe put a boundary on it & say this is last time you'll try sort things for him. You are being v courageous for you & dc's. Well done.

Am scratching head & wondering what STF stands for?? Shoot the fuker?? Shut the fuk up?? Squash the fuker?? Shag the fuker??

Got it............. Sexy Top Females??

Or maybe............starting to fu*k??

Get it? Starting over.....STF .

Excuse my vulgarity.

I've become very childish due to lack of a life at present .

Screw the f*er?

Stainless threaded fasteners according to google - surely not?

Hi Happy, . Or even the plural, screw the fu*kers??

How are you doing??

Still not given up hope of my trip DAHN SARF
But need to see wots occurring over next few days ,so easy to be swayed by twuntish negativity will check flights again 2 morrow and if bargain to be had will book I promise !
Love ya Smarties xxxxx

Will be a total self indulgent giggle and I think I deserve it ,been a bit of a fierce winter

Startin you def deserve it but understand your predicament.Thanks again Good Buddy for replying last nite.Just got those sick stomach stress ones and needed someone to hold my hand.Cant control him but I can keep our world stable and thats my job just now.Hope sol wasnt too bad( perhaps just very realistic)London I expect will be total fantasy NO REALISM ALLOWED

Waves to TEA hope wee dinky doo on the mend

Chairmum hope you got your carpet back down,,,welldone on the purchase of your ticket ,hope you are keepin well !

Sorry you cant make it Maves if Inspirals was the sad song I still think they had cool hoods up so its all good and that wife wasnt dumped just sad so maybe if she had been dumped she could have regained her fabulosity .
Thanks for your support this morning.

How ya doin Mumfun hope your warm ,blowin a gale up here.

Waves to Maggie ,August,Partytime and Not my choice hope ur doin good

Went to see my sexy dentist today ....no sex but a lot of drilling went on....and he did accidently make my chair go up and down...does that count as flirting?...he is lovely...May have to include him in someway in my dumpling holistic holidays....quick scale and polish perhaps...

Out on a jolly 2morrow ,work related ,lunch and lecture

Watched a bit of mama mia 2day for the first time .Think we might have to all switch it on at 9pm one Friday nite and act out the dancing queen empowerment march.

Take care PEACE,LOVE and UNITY xxx

Hi Happy, I don't think Maybees meant stainless threaded fasteners .

Maybe, Screwing Twunting Fu*kers??

Maybees, we need you to read back over the thread & clarify the STF business.

All getting a little more back on track here hopefully - and nice to be able to come on here and chat (must remember to talk with RL friends too)

Virtual hugs to all xxxx

Feels like lots of us are having an action packed or horrible or thought provoking time at the moment - as we progress towards summer we need to make sure that our fabulosity dominates I think and find a way to maintain the serenity you talk about Maybees at all times

Hard though and have a household in crisis here in many ways with DC issues galore

Still, many things to make me Happy despite this and must focus on those. Genuinely happier without XH and realise that he just wasn't giving me what I needed for many years. One day I will find someone a bit more "suitable" hopefully (makes note to book painter and dentist appointment ). Starting and Maybees, did you ask for CV's with photos before you found these guys? I have used Yellow Pages previously but it's hard to assess the quality

Sexy teacher fun?

Swear To Fuck maybe that should be ISTF mmmmm still a work in progress but thanks for the market research

re H ok this is goin to sound really bad and for all the wrong reasons but financially if he crashes and burns my kids are stuffed.He really was just asking my advice all too confusing dont want to lead him on at all .SOBER boundary firmly in place. He has to do the work I can give him a phone no but I dont make the call or does he have to ask for the number ?Soooo confusing.Basically I see it that now his accomodation is a bit better and he has sober company ,that is better for the family.

Ok recommencing detatchment with love and relax breath out .......

Got total crush on my dentist I am blushing as I type cold sore working towards a blemish everday so fingers crossed got to go back in a fortnight

Very tall and muscular bloke so standing up shag no problem (broom cupboard in surgery perhaps)

That made me laugh

Do you think you are getting ever so slightly carried away?