ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No3

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Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Bit of a daze this am. A highly emotional weekend. Wondering whether this is because chat with counsellor got all of my emotions out on the table for the weekend.

Hoping we all have a good week.

Maybees - thanks very much for what you sent me yesterday, it made me smile at a time everything was really cr**.

Pink - I hope it all goes well today, you have much to be proud of from what you sent me by email so you can hold your head up high

Ladies, can't wait til we meet. I've found having emails from you stupidly exciting and now have great pictures of you all in my head

Doctors appointment booked for 10.50am. Another difficult night. She gets in and out of my bed and into travel cot instead, and then back into my bed all night. Lots of screaming and crying. She's having a big tantrum in her room right now. She keeps telling me how much her tongue hurts and won't eat and can't sleep, keeps waking etc.

I'm going insane as this has been going on since Thursday.

My Dad used to beat me too if I had a tantrum. Probably why after days of no sleep, I lost it with DD last night. Multiple times alas But yes I usually leave her to calm down on her own too.

My H isn't answering his phone and my DD keeps asking for him in tears.

Grrrrrr

God that must be SO hard Tea. Try and be calm with her today. Can you just stay at home with her on the settee covered with blankets watching telly ? You might both fall assleep doing that.

Try and forget about everything else and just focus on her (like you do when DC are ill). Just resign yourself to it today if you can.

It's so hard when DC need more of you than you can give (which I find alot of the time) but you're so well under the MOST trying of circumstances.

The MOST important thing IMO though is to look after YOU cos if you don't then you can't look after her.

She doesn't understand what's going on and she feels angry and insecure and can only express it with tantrums.

Maybee a drop of calpol would help calm her ? and a tiny easter egg ? to put a smile on her little face. X

Thanks Happy

Doctor said suspected tonsillitis. Gave me the usual prescription but can't spell it for the life of me!

The tongue bite she said was almost better but her glands, tonsils, throat back of tongue etc were all fully up and looked very sore, she also said her stomach was probably inflamed too from it all. So now I feel even worse and more guilty for not being super mum the last 24 hours Of course being age 2 she didn't know the name of throat, so of course she was saying tongue hurts! Although she can't even stick her tongue out, as the back of it swollen.

She sounds like Shirley Bassey, deep throaty voice. God I hope it starts to get better soon, the poor thing is in agony

Nothing more painful than a sore throat, poor her.

NO GUILT THOUGH please. you have been supermum.

Had to smile in tesco just now when I saw "Dumpling Mix". Bloody delicious they looked too. I loooooove comfort food.

Sol went ok ish ta. I'm buggered if I understand why she she charges more for one hour than I do for week though. Just makes me wants to shout FFS about 10 times.

Hello I am a lurker, chucked just before Xmas at 38 weeks pg with our dc4. The dcs are 7,5,1 & 13 weeks.

Am coping with dc fine - I'm still very much adjusting though.

Stop lurking come and join the fun

Thank goodness I'm eligible for legal aid right now. Going to ring sol later. Hubby finally made contact and coming tonight to help out. About bloody time! (excuse my french).

Hi All, I am wrecked today. I haven't even managed to get dressed yet & have spent most of the day in bed. Dc's have no school so just got up to get breakfast & lunch etc. Still have my cold but think this is emotional rather than physical.

Hi Tea, hope your dd starts to feel a bit better now with medication. Usually they bounce back v quickly at that age so hopefully the worst is over. You'll prob feel a bit better yourself when you get a bit of sleep.

Hi Happy, hope you're getting back on track again. Sending you virtual hugs.

Hi Pink, glad sol visit went ok. I'm afraid to even think what I'm going to owe mine by time all this is finished. With court cases etc mine will be a fortune .

Hi Scorps, I followed some of your original thread, you're a brave lady. We would be delighted to have you on the board.

I don't feel very bravE sometimes, lol.

A little about me, just incase you want to know. I'm 25, and H and I were together 7 years, married 2. After we got married he cheated - latest was 18 yr old thru 6 months of my last pg. He left me because of my behaviour following the cheating. I had the baby at my parents house and moved home alone 10 weeks ago. I have had days were I couldn't walk as the pain manifested itself physically iyswim. Now I don't have many of those days. I'm lucky that he has dcs 2 evenings, all day Saturday and half of sunday, but no overnights yet as he's living in a room. Literally. He sees Lacey 2 hours a week at my house and I go out -she is exc bf and bottle refuses.

I get scared of the future. Feel worthless alot, ugly. Have lost so much weight my CPN is suspecting an eating disorder but I disagree - do any of you get that nervous energy thing? That's what it is.

I'm mostly accepting of all this, just get The Fear occasionally.

Hi Scops, I've battled the nervous energy thing too & my family often expressed concern about if I was eating in the past. I've always been fairly slim but lost about another stone from stress last year. I've now put it back on though but can still get that awful nervous sick feeling in my stomach. It has gotten less and less with time though & I'm hoping that someday it'll be gone altogether.

I think we can all be scared of the future & it's very early days for you yet. You are v young, you've got plenty of time to build up a new life for yourself. Also I've looked at your pics & you are gorgeous. Try & get some counselling or RL support to build back up your confidence again. Hugs.

Parents night at nursery later, all about going to school ,still can't believe ds is going in the summer.

Watched dance show dvd this afternoon.Need to get sparkly shakers so I can do the Hey Micky cheerleader routine properly

Nice one for getting doc appointment Tea.Especially tough when wee ones are poorly
it doesnt get much tougher than what you've had to deal with this weekend,but you got thru it again ,you are a survivor ,can you get someone to sit with kids while you grab some zzzzz's ?I remember reading when you are a mum of small kids "Dont stand if you can sit,don't sit if you can lie down and don't lie down if you can sleep !"(Even if someone can sit and watch Peppa Pig with the kids while you curl up in bed )Good you are going to sol to get advice x

Big hugs Startin' you deserve a pj day.I agree stress will have a lot to do with this so really look after yourself this week ,you
are a total STAR

Glad you found sol productive Smarties just all part of your bumpy road but you will soon be speeding along your new motorway free of a his negativity and enjoying your freedom and kick ass attitude -you go girl !

Hope for more tranquil times this week for you Happy.I think its like I said before our bodies can only take so much pain at a time so we carry on like we are coping them WHAM just when you think your strong enough it lets us feel a bit more.Then you get up and keep on marching CHIN UP TITS OUT cos we are strong enough or we wouldnt have made it this far.But we are human we have emotions,and we should express them when we need to cos if not I would just XPLODE

Any news re 10th is it all systems go Go GO !!!!

Scorps hope you had a good day !
Bet you could teach Ray Mears a bit about survival

Waves to everyone xxxxxx

I agree Scorps you're a stunner!

Totally remember your thread now,I remember baby Lacey
I remember you had great parents and ur dead clever.
You do need to nourish yourself to survive that is fact but anxiety and stress are the biggest wt loss emotions total vicious circle have you got time to cook ?
How is baby Lacey, can u2 come to our meet up ?
Right need to go to get ready ,got flaky cold sore face to camouflage ......

Sorry TMI

you're all so lovely, lol. Yes I have fabulous parents, really really great. Yep I have time to cook and do every day that the dcs hav tea here - on the days they don't I have ready meal or my parents bring me an extra portion of their tea. I have eaten 3 meals for the last 3 days though! I'm 5'9 and now 8st2. Eek.

Have just bathed them all, they're watching beebies now. Lacey is good, nearly 13 weeks old now and smiles all the time. She's a big dafty!

My first counselling appt is in two weeks, worried about it but pleased also.

Have had so many emotions this last few months. I am honestly suprised sometimes I do it all, including make up and heels lol. I feel ok most of the time, though sometimes I'd do anything almost to have a cuddle from him. Iyswim. But I don't want him much now either. V odd!

Everyone keeps saying early days and time heals, but it feels like bollocks when people say it doesn't it?!?

Yes it does feel like bollocks when people say it Scorps but it is true, and yes you are beautiful. I can't imagine having 4 DC at 25. You've done well. x

Hello all,

Haven't been keeping up well enough, but welcome scorps - I know I've seen you about on other threads. You sound like you're coping brilliantly with 4. I'm worried enough about 2 here!

I know we all lose our temper with our kids sometimes. DS took 2 hours to get to sleep last night and I think I fell asleep before he did - lost my whole evening and ended up snapping at him so many times (he likes to climb over me and has no awareness of my poor bump!). And this is when H has him 3 nights a week, so I do get a break!

I have a bombsite for a house at the moment - H and SIL came round and took up the carpet as the floorboards underneath were still damp after the flooding 2 weeks ago! Looks like it will dry out and we'll be able to put the carpet back but I don't know how long it will take and in the meantime the room is a tip and all the carpet gripper stuff is around the edge so I am going to have to watch DS like a hawk (and try to keep him upstairs as much as possible). I'm hoping it doesn't take too long as its miserable having to look at it. However I'm glad that I'm still communicating with H well enough that he'll do things like this (even though SIL phoned him to make him come home from work early tonight to pull the carpet up )

Hi Maybees, enjoy your night tonight. My ds will also be starting this year. I think your right about the body holding onto stress & think I've crashed a bit.

Hi Scorps, great to hear you're getting counselling & taking care of yourself.

Hi Chairmum, great to hear from you again. Hope you manage to get the house sorted soon, sounds stressful.

Evening all

Scorps, great to see you here

I followed your thread avidly and am so glad to see that you are doing well

Welcome to Dumpling Island.

You certainly qualify...

Dumped (tick)
Fabulous (tick)
An inspiration to us all (tick)
Ability to post prolifically (tick)

The only thing that concerns me is the fact that you make me feel old

Yours, Happy person thinking of changing name to NotQuiteSoHappyRightNow

Waves to everyone else, I seem to be in a slump. Does anyone else ever wonder how the fuk they ended up married to such a fukwit.

How did I allow my life to get into such a mess??

Well if it helps I feel like a huge failure - 4 dc, 2 dads, and divorced all before 26.

Hi all - still feeling a little at totally inappropriate song linking the other night... Lots of top tunes though!

Starting - sorry to hear that xH is pissing about from the off. Hope you get some resolution soon.

Chairmum - here's wishing you dry floors asap - that carpet gripper stuff is lethal and a magnet to small children!

Tea - hope your lo is on the mend soon. Poor love. You're a great mum - none of us here should doubt that for a second. We've carried on where lesser mortals (ie xtwunts) have scarpered!

Scorps - hello there! This is the thread noone really wants to be on but you'll get a warm welcome nontheless. I am the same height as you but that is where the similarity ends . Hope you're doing ok.

Well, yesterday I had some wine and told xH exactly what I thought of him. In fairness to him he sat there and took it although I suspect he wasn't actually listening.

Today it was ds2's 1st birthday which was lovely. What a year!

Hope all members of the dumpling army are looking after themselves .

Look, I am having a cra**y time at the moment also, but we are fabulous despite this you know.

I guess what we could do is to have set times when we all talk about the cr** stuff and then a HappyHour when we have more laughter and Starting tells us some PPT stories and Maybees does her dancing--