FTBA, your reaction is not any indication that you love him. There's nothing wrong with being afraid to let him go. The thought of finality and the fear of it is what he is counting on though. He is playing with your mind with all this talk of NEVER, and FOREVER, etc. He will be back, like a bad smell. Sooner or later, he will start ruminating on his entitlement regarding the children, and he will be back to bother you. There's no such thing as final, with children, but there can be a relationship that doesn't damage you after a split. FTBA, all you need to get a bit of strength is time without him, time when you can do all the little things like having a cuppa, going out to the shops without having to explain yourself. You will feel yourself lighter as the constant anxiety slips off your shoulders. Unloading all that deadweight will free up so much headspace and heartspace, you'll be amazed at the room you have there for everyone else and everything else that's important in your life.
You could always text him to say you've changed your mind, and you don't think there's any more to talk about, and you wish him all the best for the future? If he takes you up on your offer to talk, or is he insists and you don't feel you have any choice, go somewhere neutral like a cafe or some public spot. It's important to keep him out of your home, off your turf. Tell him yes, you think it's for the best (!) that you split, it's regrettable in many ways, blah blah, hope he'll be happy. If he changes his tune, be firmly neutral, or stick to the firm but future-looking, 'No, I think it's for the best that we draw a line under this.'
I agree with the advice not to accept any more lifts from him. You are under no obligation to dance to any of his tunes. You don't owe him any fairness, though it's to your credit that you want to be fair. It speaks volumes about your decency and the kind of good person that you are. Be fair to yourself too. You owe yourself that honour more than you owe him. Do what you are able to do. Keep your own overall best interests to the fore. He does not have your best interests in mind. Ever.
Sometimes it helps to get an image in your mind of the worst case scenario. What's the worst thing that could happen, when it's all boiled down? Try to write it down, whatever bad things you can think of. Then try to write down the things you have going for you -- You have a job and you don't need him for money. You have a home. Your DCs are used to your work and childcare routine and they won't be upset as they might be if you had to start a job upon separation. You are used to handling your family and job responsibilities and the house stuff all by yourself after all this time. When you can see that the practicalities are in place, try to see the emotional benefits. You can still have a dream of a great life, with him out of the day-to-day picture.