Another woman fancies my fiancé

[Robsia]

The week before my fiancé G met me (15 months ago, to put the time frame on it) he had a date with a girl called T who he met off the same dating site he met me.

He went back to her house afterwards and, to put it bluntly, she gave him oral sex.

Anyway, she was very taken with him (even talked marriage on the first date!) but he was less taken with her - found her tedious and boring in fact. When he met me, he never looked back. He gave her the excuse that he wasn't over his wife leaving him and was not ready for a relationship.

Since their first date, she has been ringing him daily at first, although it dropped to weekly after a while and is about monthly now. Most of the time he doesn't take the calls but occasionally talks to her out of 'politeness'. She still thinks there could be something there when he is over his break-up and the poor girl has no idea he is engaged to me!

This weekend we were at his house and he had gone out for a short while. The house phone rang and I answered it and it was a woman:

Her: Oh, I think I've got the wrong number.
Me: Are you after G**?
Her: Um yes.
Me: Oh he's just popped out for a bit.
Her. Oh. Er, I'll try again later then.
Me: Who shall I say called?
Her: Tell him it was T**.

I told him when he got home and he showed me a text she had sent him saying that she had rung the home phone and "someone" had answered and she hoped she hadn't got him into trouble.

Now - I have absolutely no doubt that he is doing NOTHING with this girl - I think she is the wronged (although a touch obsessive) party in all this by holding a candle for him all this time and he hasn't let her down gently.

Now that I have her phone number, I am tempted to call her and explain the situation as ask very nicely if she wouldn't mind not ringing my fiancé again.

What do you think?

OK - yes, BigMac IS my fiancé. The deed has been done - apparently she didn't take it well, so we shall see if she actually does stop ringing him. If not, then that is a whole other issue, one that we will deal with together.

I have been asked to say that it's not because of what has been said on here that he has phoned her, it is simply because I asked him to, which he agreed to do anyway even before he read this thread.

hehehehehe, I wish you both every happiness.

good luck robsia! Good luck bigmac! I'm hoping your ploy works and the silly bint gets it and shuffles off.

I think i spoke too soon with the colombiana myself.. She's rung tonight... Argh woman, donde tu dignidad?

Stick around robsia, don't go anywhere and we'll chat anon..

"ok, so I take it you have all phoned all of your exs and explained that you were married, engaged, in a relationship or whatever??????

No, probably not and why? Cos it's none of their damn business."

Er, I think I would bother informing someone who was clearly still interested in me, actually.

Out of respect for my fiance, and courtesy to the other party.

But this does sound a crock of shit to me, but ho hum. Good luck with married life.

Have slept on it... (boy, was it uncomfy), and still believe it is all real..

How aboot a trollery-amnesty? Everyone promises to believe everyone for at least a week, and see how it goes? We could make little troll red cards to dish out when people start to get suspicious

She didnt take it well? i think this poor woman has been lead a merry dance by your boyfriend I feel sorry for her

i dont buy this bullshit about 'its none of her business' he is a wank stain, good luck with that one OP

I hope it's a troll as i'd hate to see anyone have to deal with someone, who would rather mind the feelings of a loon over his DF.

BOF i agree completely with your last post.

One last thing as i can't seem to help myself, why only ignore her 99% of the time? That makes no sense at all to me, puts me in mind of someone who is only admiting that which they've already been caught out on....

i've read some of this thread, not all of it but I just wanted to say to robsia that I genuinely do wish her luck.

I think your bloke should have told this girl he was engaged, but he has done now which is good and hopefully that will be the end of it.

There are a lot of cynical, untrusting women on this site (with good reason for many I know) but personally I think a bloke can sometimes do shitty, thoughtless things (like yours had) and yet still be a generally nice bloke, who loves you and will make you happy. Noone's perfect!

If you're happy and confident, that's what matters!

Good Luck and I'm glad you've got it sorted!

Hear hear, dittany.

OP, when you say she didn't take it well - how so?

The 99% thing sounds hooey too- assuming it is true, it's at the very least unwise, as many parents on this site know: think of toddlers who whine and whine, and are told no no no no no -kerching!!! then no no no no- kerching! All that occasionally caving in teaches anyone is to keep pushing and pushing and waiting for the inevitable payout. It's why fruit machines are so addictive.

If this guy is for real, he must at least be quite enjoying the feeling of having options, otherwise he would have been much more consistent in ignoring her calls, rather than offering her a tantalising glimmer of hope every so often.

dittany,

as you don't know me it is not your place to comment on anything about me. How am I nasty man? Would you also say she is a slut? It takes 2 people to have a sexual encounter and I didn't say I despised her at all, I just said that I realised that there was not going to be a relationship and ended it at that, right from the outset.

What happens in my life after ending a relationship with someone else is the business of me and any new partner only, not any exs. You were not there and did not see how she reacted when I ended the liaison, she is very needy and I had tried to be friendly to maintain the status quo and quietly hoped that after all this time she might have met someone else to latch on to.

In hindsight maybe not the best move but I have always been clear with her that we are not and never will be in a relationship.

I am just so glad that most of you here seem to be so perfect and have never regretted getting into something or being so heartless that you didn't give a shit about offending someone else (Which is obvious by some of the comments). Yes I do take my DFs feelings into account and I had not quite realised how much it was pissing her off as we had joked about the stalker on several occasions.

The reason I was getting pissed off is that most people have assumed that this is entirely my fault and that a person who just won't take no for answer is the victim, well hello there are people in this world, both men and women who just won't accept that something is over.

FWIW I am perfect.

Bigmac.
I think she may have taken the hint if you had told her you were engaged. But you didn't want to do that.

Dittany is entitled to have whatever opinion of you she chooses - based upon all the stuff your fiance wrote about you on a public website.
It is kind of the nature of the beast.

How about you start telling people that you are engaged and she stops telling people about you getting blow jobs of girls that you don't much like.
It may serve both your purposes.

ThunderGonads007 agrees.

"there are people in this world, both men and women who just won't accept that something is over"

like this thread I hope

Hey, pagwatch, where is ThunderGonads007?

You answer her calls.
You don't tell her you're engaged.

Can you not see how shit that looks? To someone on the outside?

The rest is smoke and mirrors.

Aww He was too shy.
His gonads were not terribly thunderous just at the moment and SlightlyNosiyGonads0031/2... well its just embaressing isn't it.

And no one wants their man to go on a website and make a tit of himself.........

ditt / pag,

everyone that needs to know does know.

Interesting to note that calling someone a cock, wank stain etc etc etc is perfectly acceptable but suggesting that someone is a slut for performing a sex act on someone they barely know is not. Nice to see the double standards. Or is is just because I happen to be a man and all men are bastards????

Maybe some of you should actually read what has been written, think it over and give a considered view like GH and WW, then a thread would not degenerate over people's assumptions rather than fact.

Oh dear, didn't realise that men weren't allowed to have feelings or be able to defend themselves against vile ignorance.

OK Just you ignore the fact that many of us are in happy longterm relationships because clearly that doesn't fit in with your view.

I have actually read it and mulled it over yet still i think you are not very nice, i wonder why that is...

You had no trouble accepting the BJ from said 'slut' though did you.

You seem like a real catch, i wish OP all the luck in the world dealing with you.

Disclaimer - I'm bored so therefore playing with the troll

And there's proof if you need it. Please read the posts, a) I did not fuck her and b) I did not call her a slut. I asked a question, but typically you fail to read it and make an assumption.

If it's so boring why are you still posting???? Personally I am trying to defend myself.