Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another woman fancies my fiancé

393 replies

Robsia · 28/02/2010 21:12

The week before my fiancé G met me (15 months ago, to put the time frame on it) he had a date with a girl called T who he met off the same dating site he met me.

He went back to her house afterwards and, to put it bluntly, she gave him oral sex.

Anyway, she was very taken with him (even talked marriage on the first date!) but he was less taken with her - found her tedious and boring in fact. When he met me, he never looked back. He gave her the excuse that he wasn't over his wife leaving him and was not ready for a relationship.

Since their first date, she has been ringing him daily at first, although it dropped to weekly after a while and is about monthly now. Most of the time he doesn't take the calls but occasionally talks to her out of 'politeness'. She still thinks there could be something there when he is over his break-up and the poor girl has no idea he is engaged to me!

This weekend we were at his house and he had gone out for a short while. The house phone rang and I answered it and it was a woman:

Her: Oh, I think I've got the wrong number.
Me: Are you after G**?
Her: Um yes.
Me: Oh he's just popped out for a bit.
Her. Oh. Er, I'll try again later then.
Me: Who shall I say called?
Her: Tell him it was T**.

I told him when he got home and he showed me a text she had sent him saying that she had rung the home phone and "someone" had answered and she hoped she hadn't got him into trouble.

Now - I have absolutely no doubt that he is doing NOTHING with this girl - I think she is the wronged (although a touch obsessive) party in all this by holding a candle for him all this time and he hasn't let her down gently.

Now that I have her phone number, I am tempted to call her and explain the situation as ask very nicely if she wouldn't mind not ringing my fiancé again.

What do you think?

OP posts:
warthog · 01/03/2010 19:42

what i find wierd is that he respects the feelings of nutty stalker woman over his fiancé!

pagwatch · 01/03/2010 19:45

I want to get DH to post now. I will get him to use ThunderGonads007.

I will post that he is shit at washing up. Then I will show him thread about bitchy carpy women who think he is shit for not washing up. Then I will make him post and explain that he is really nice . And we have a dishwasher.

AnyFucker · 01/03/2010 20:08

lol @ "matriarch of the board"

and no, I never use my wisdom to help others, I use it only to wind people up of course

anyhoooo...

come on now people...let's not extend this thread any further...

whizzy, are you part of this Bermuda Triangle, love ?

groundhogs, seriously, I did not mean to make any judgement on you...as you can see, I don't tend to mince my words when I do have something scathing to say

Whizzywigg · 01/03/2010 20:13

AF No, nor am I pretending to be anyone other than me.. Oh, and I havent' changed my name, and I'm not the mad stalker woman either.

AnyFucker · 01/03/2010 20:26
Grin
Janos · 01/03/2010 20:28

This is all a bit a like surreal episode of EE isn't it?

ClaireDeLoon · 01/03/2010 20:38

'I want to get DH to post now. I will get him to use ThunderGonads007.

I will post that he is shit at washing up. Then I will show him thread about bitchy carpy women who think he is shit for not washing up. Then I will make him post and explain that he is really nice . And we have a dishwasher. '

PMSL

However, can't believe I wasted my time reading this thread only to find it is a wind-up.

FanjolinaJolie · 01/03/2010 20:51

He didn't tell her he was engaged as it's 'none of her business'?

What a crock.

Surely if he wanted her to stop calling that's the first thing he'd say to get rid.

groundhogs · 01/03/2010 20:53

AF, honestly, nothing to apologise for. I think I 'know' you well enough to know that you are not having a pop at me [netmums HUG emoticon] [mumnset VOM emoticon]

TBH women who DO find themselves in a relationship with a man that has a clingon, are going to be, at some point weak, in that it's often so insidious it goes in under the radar and often it gets to a wake up moment, and the woman thinks, I bet no-one else has to put up with this shit.... and I shoulda just told him to piss off and her too. OOh if I had a quid for everytime I've thought that!

That said, I know exactly what you meant in that some of us don't say what we ought to say and can lead people to believe things that aren't strictly true if it suits us....

And as for this being a wind up.... Bah! buggeration, damn these people with nothing else better to do! Actually while I'm at it on the better things to do... Raymond Blanc, Kitchen Secrets..... WTF is that guy on??? Who has Lemon Verbena Oil in their pantry? Who the F has a vaccuum packer either... argh, i digress, need to head off over to Chat FFS.

However, I have a DH with a clingon, a 'friend' of mine has a bf with clingon, there were a couple here that had, so it does happen, and if this discussion can help anyone then it's kind of OK.

Jolly good people, as you all were....

Whizzywigg · 01/03/2010 21:03

No.. t'would ne'er work...

LadyintheRadiator · 01/03/2010 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Robsia · 01/03/2010 21:09

I can't believe you have to pay £5 to contact someone privately on here.

I was going to email groundhogs to assure her that I AM genuine without it getting poo-pooed publicly once more

Much as it shouldn't bother me - it does. I know that forums suffer from trolls and if I had posted something totally ridiculous like "my fiancé wants me to have an orgy with the England football team - am I being unreasonable to refuse?" then, yes, I could see your point.

But this is not beyond the realms of possiblity and is in fact genuine.

So, thanks once agian to everyone who helped - and you did!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/03/2010 21:12

Lady and Claire, how do you think we feel ?

some of us have been posting on this fucking thread...and contrary to OP's belief...trying to help her

gah

actually, as wind-ups go, it's pretty good

not in a comedy way (althought there is a funny-ridiculous aspect to it)

but that it was quite clever and understated, with just enough of a hook to draw people in...

< makes notes furiously >

groundhogs · 01/03/2010 21:18

I do actually believe you robsia, the detail is too spot on, even if you are winding anyone up, you would have to have gone through it in the past.

Do we actually know who BigMac2020 is???? Robsia, can you shed light on that?

DON'T namechange BTW Robsia, stick it out for the long run. Have you posted on other's threads? Give it a go, try and help some others, then the troll murmers will be silenced.

Some people here do have very itchy troll trigger fingers... Don't let it get to you!

Oh and seeing as my clingon is still hanging on in there, calls yesterday stick close, we can support each other...

I've just put up a little status on DH's MSN.... 'XXXX, no mas, time to say Adios'

I'll leave it there for a couple of hours in the hope she sees it... tsk tsk tsk.

groundhogs · 01/03/2010 21:18

Spelling shite, sorry, must correct before I send....

ItsGraceAgain · 01/03/2010 21:23

oohhhhhh nooooo! Another Mumsnet playground bitchfest. I hate it when this happens. It's a very ugly side of Mumsnet.

Is it coz it is winter, innit, and you missin da sunshine?

OK, you can all have a go at me now
... I'm working, though, so may not be able to pile in & scrap back all that often.

AnyFucker · 01/03/2010 21:26

< looks in mirror >

< sees no reflection >

< screams >

scottishmummy · 01/03/2010 21:26

bitchfest is such a vapid and derogatory term.evocative of trashy lad mags and not much else

Aussieng · 01/03/2010 21:31

couldn't stay away...

Whizzy "

No.. t'would ne'er work... "

LOL - just wasted 5 mins trying to explain to my DH why I had snorted at the computer over that. He didn't get it

Robsia - if you're bothered you could always report the thread to MN. There are proper procedures for dealing with suspected trolls yada yada yada etc etc etc

groundhogs · 01/03/2010 21:35

AF laughed out loud when I read your earlier post about staring out the dog, winning and punching the air...

I had to explain that to DS when I'd stopped snorting!

MuthaHubbard · 01/03/2010 21:36

bigmac - the fact is you are ignoring your fiances feelings in this, she doesn't like that this woman is still in contact and 'fancies' you - as per title.

put robsia's feelings first - which you know you should be doing - and spell it out for the ex and put her out of her misery.....yes you may have told her there was no chance of a relationship with her, but she will still hang on hoping until she knows you are taken and have been for some time.

it will do more good than harm for her to know of your engangement. do what makes robsia happy - surely that's what you want?

AnyFucker · 01/03/2010 21:39

I often have staring competitions with the dog

I use it as a form of meditation
ohhhhhhhhmm and all that jazz

she is a great starer and it is a battle of wills, who blinks first

MuthaHubbard · 01/03/2010 21:43

and i can't wait for thundergonads.....

maristella · 01/03/2010 21:43

oh my lord! it's all gone crazy on here!
so, defensive OP's fiance (he of the 24 roses fame) has gone on the attack...
berlimey

MorrisZapp · 01/03/2010 22:32

Bonkers.

I just love the whole 'it's none of her business' thing.

In my dating days, the it was standard practice to invent a boyfriend in order to gently let down a suitor.

But this guy actually does have a serious partner but won't say?

Nope. Not having it. No way.