Is this a red flag or not? AF, Solid, Custy etc over here please!!

[redflagornot]

Have done a shifty namechange but am a regular. Hence asking for straight talking regulars and anyone else who wants to contribute.. I need a judgement check please!

Background - single for a little while after splitting with twunty ex. Well documented on here, won't go into details now but suffice to say he was an arse. Met lovely sounding man online recently, checked him out, he's warm, funny and has suggested a drink.

We've chatted lots via email and text, and as part of that, we asked each other a few questions - one of mine was "do you have any guilty pleasures?" Now I was thinking of Ok magazine and a big bar of chocolate [sheltered life emoticon], but he came back with that he occasionally looks at internet porn

So - the other 50 or so messages from him have all been lovely, very gently flirty but in no way sleazy, he has a responsible RL job where I don't think sleazy people would be tolerated, so do I ignore this as a TMI moment and meet him anyway, or see it as a bit of a red flag and avoid?

IMO internet porn is less worrying than DVDs - it means he probably didn't pay for it.

sgb...are you Carrie Bradshaw ?

No, she's much lesss whiny than Carrie Bradshaw.

Carrie Bradshaw? How VERY dare you!?!?!
(mind you that's better than being called a purveyor of sub-Sunday Sport trash and a trout with gout!)

hehe

solid, v intrigued.. is it woman's weekly? take a break?

Coarse Fishing Monthly

Razzle

Redflag: can I just say, an adult magazine with articles on sex and relationships in as don't want to outmyself (particularly not with ongoing nutter situation that's happening at present).

Right, I'm back!! Bless him, nice guy but knew instantly there was zero physical chemistry there for me, he sounded like Hugh Grant and was a bit too weedy and really nervous (he's already texted me to tell me how amazing I am and to ask me to dinner next week ) Am dealing with that one now.

Briefly mentioned the porn thing (he brought it up), it was apparently supposed to have been a jokey response to my question..! I can well believe it was a bit misguided, he didn't seem pervy at all, just a bit clueless.

So you live and learn, shame really, as there was a fair bit of chemistry in our mails and texts!!

ah a limp flag. What a shame

I bet if it had got that far, limp would have been the word..

Have sent a kindly worded brush off, but he texted straight back to say he wants to take a risk on me.. am going to need to toughen up to deal with all of this business.

Ahhh. Bless! Glad you had a decent night out, anyway

it's a gentle way in to be the rejector rather than the rejectee though! good luck x
take a chance on me is the song lol

ninah, lol at limp flag!

redflag - this guy is not a lawyer is he? your last couple of posts have really reminded me of someone I know, who could definitely be described as clueless. not sure he would admit to the porn though, although come to think of it, is probably the sort of thing he would say as a (very badly judged) joke!

hatesponge, no he isn't a lawyer! He is definitely a type though (went to all boys boarding school, never mixed with girls until uni - desperately lacking in confidence with opposite sex - explains a lot imo!!)

It's weird that when he writes he's a completely different person - witty, charming and confident. I could have seriously liked the email persona - shows why you need to meet people I guess.

He will not stop texting though, despite my gentle brush off. Will have to bite the bullet, feels like I'm wounding a puppy.

redflag - the witty emails, but clueless in real life combination really reminded me of a colleague am rather relieved it is not the same person!

there are clearly a few of these good on paper men, I blame boarding school...maybe it's all those years spent writing letter home?

Oooh, maybe you could introduce him to BIGMAC2020's texting ex!

jeeez! you need to 'address it early on'????

i think mn is fairly hysterical when it comes to pornography i'm afraid. most people access porn at some point in their lives. hopefully when they are in a sexually rewarding relationship they use porn as an addition to their relationship or maybe even go off most of the crass stuff...

personally i don't think this is a red flag in any way shape or form.

surely if you look at the relationship section you see that LYING about using porn is a major problem. he isn't lying. if you 'address this issue early on' then he will lie.

ok my post is irrelevant as you don't fancy him.

sophable, thanks, but the porn turned out to be the least of my worries when I actually met the bloke!!

clearly!!!

aww, bummer

onward and upward !

do keep posting, I have to get my kicks from somewhere

Don't worry Af, I have victim no 2 in my sights..!! Give me a week and I'll be back with another dilemma

we will look forward to it

< orders ton of popcorn >