I have been thinking about the timing thing too, Annie, from a different angle. The baby is now 9 months old. The co-sleeping started when the baby was 6 months old -- has the tussle over who sleeps where been going on for 3 months? I am musing about this in the context of the OP's remark about his wife trying to pick fights with him. I am also wondering exactly how long the OP has been sleeping at the friend's place. Was he kicked out recently or has it been a while?
Another reference from the OP that I see -- when someone says he is more than willing to wait for his wife to be ready for sex, it would come across to me that this was hanging over me, that despite the possible intention of being a patient husband, you are actually going to come across as someone waiting around, looking at his watch, tapping his foot, wondering if she was ready yet. A bit like the DCs in the car asking "are we there yet?" When you say you're willing to wait, you're also saying you're waiting, IYSWIM. You're stating a goal that you assume your wife is also aiming for.
Goals seem to be a matter of some importance to you, Lostdog reading through your post again I see you refer to the baby sleeping in the bed as a backward step. I see that sleeping better despite having a baby is a goal of yours too (and I get that, believe me, having lost about 10 years of sleep myself, but I also think it's an unrealistic goal) and now I am getting an impression from your quick posts that you are able to focus on only one goal at a time, i.e., work during the week, post looking for help on the weekend is it possible that in your focus on the goal of sleeping, you dropped the relationship ball? You seem to have some sort of tunnel vision thing going on.
You have the time to come back and say you haven't the time to say anything. The polite thing to do would be to think a little about what has been advised (if indeed the problems you have described are a priority to you), and also to answer some of the questions that have been asked. Focusing on one thing and one thing only at a time is an annoying trait, imo.
Again, to refresh your memory and save you the time it takes to scroll through the thread, here are a few things I want to know what sort of support system does your wife have in RL? Does she have family around her? Friends? Is she English/ does she speak English? Do you have friends in common are you sleeping with people who are friends of hers too? Have you told your joint friends what you posted here? Have you used the same language, made the same contrasts between your reasonable behaviour and her lack of same? Point here is to ascertain if she might be isolated and how you could help her in this area, and also how you might have contributed to it. Support in RL is important for someone who has PND. I hope you have not taken support away from her.