He just told me he doesn't want to marry me!!

[xb2b]

Dp proposed in December. Bought me a beautiful ring. We have been together 5 years, have 2 children. Things are good, great i would say.
We chose a date, spoke to the priest, booked the church, viewed hotels, booked a reception. Ordered my dream dress with all accessories, looked in kilt hire shops for his outfits.
Chose flower girl outfits together, bought them. Had an engagement party, lots of family and friends. Asked the best man, bridesmaids. Told our parents.
Last night, he was in silence, went to bed early, when i went up i asked him what was up. He said, "i don't want to get married, i have been thinking and i am not ready, sorry" He then went onto saying he would LEAVE today. He hasn't went into work because he needs to pack. He hasn't started packing but will not speak to me at all.
Last night i asked why, he said " it's not you it's me"

What the hell? I am so confused. Things have been great i thought. I am so upset. I haven't slept, i can't eat. I have no one to talk to, he wont answer me.

Ah. So now you got your reason. Name of Alice.

Angry is good. You should be proud on how you dealt with his visit.

He has a ridiculous fixation on 2 weeks doesn't he? Since when does 2 weeks become the point of resolution? And a full laundry basket ? - well why doesn't he do a load if it bugs him so much? Oh well done you on restraining yourself to not batter him with a frying pan.

Be strong and believe in yourself. It's his issues not you. You get your support network sorted of friends and family. If he's to come back your life - he has to start from scratch. At the moment he's a prize tosser and I don't think he's yet told the truth.

Well!!! Theres your answer then.....

Better rid of him. Sorry. I know it sucks, an I know it will hurt. But better now than after the wedding.

thanks grace, i do realize that. lol, honest ido.

Thank god you grew up while I was typing my rant!!! Very glad you're angry. Good news about your mate coming over.

Coulda been worse, you could have married him ...

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Am so so sorry. But agree, it could have been much worse, just think if you had married him!

You don't need that lowlife in your life, text Alice and tell her that she's welcome to him. I only hope she keeps on top of the housework and kisses his boots everytime he enters or else she'll be dumped too.

You and your children deserve better. I'm glad you have your friends coming round, take comfort from those who love you right now. It'll be a slow healing process but you'll get there. You'll move on with your life and find someone who makes you happy. He'll never find anyone who makes him happy and that's just what he deserves.

What a total shit he is!

Well I would guess he's having an affair with Alice, she has kids and as next week is 1/2 term they are off for a jolly break together.

You know that nothing adds up, you know you will never trust him again. You are doing exactly the right thing in refusing his absurd request. Go forward and build your life with your dcs. It's very shocking that a five year relationship can end like this, very cruel - but better after 5 years than 10 or 15.

Good on you for standing up to him. That's great.

Next steps are to make sure you are as protected as you can be in the circumstances (i.e. think about who owns the house? What will he pay re child maintenance?) Sorry, I know this is a bit blunt, but if he has been planning this for a while (and he may well have been) you can bet your bottom dollar that he will have considered the financial side of things...don't let him get an advantage over you in this regard.

Ah. Alice. She will be the reason. I am so sorry.

Stay angry and strong. He won't expect that. He will be expecting tears and begging him to stay. Don't give him the satisfaction. Pack up his stuff and tell him he has X amount of time to pick it up or you will bin it.

Oh - and tell him HE gets to cancel all the wedding arrangements he made.

oh xb.

OK, well I think it has all become a little clearer. He is probably a cheating grotbag. Either that or a spineless moron. Or a manipulative arsehandle.

Good for you on wrestling a bit of control back by telling him to poke his 2 weeks.

Glad to hear you have a friend coming tonight.

Stay strong.

Gosh, there is your answer .

What a twunt. And a lot more for you to take in .

Still, I think you have handled this incredibly well so far in the circumstances and (looking on the bright side) at least you hadn't just got married.

But, lots to consider and a weekend for much thinking I guess.

I suggest some RL girls support, a conversation with him at some point about WTF he's doing (not because you want him back now but just because you will need to sort some stuff out between you - has he even mentioned the DC's? ).

The good thing is that he is not in the house with you while this is going on. This means you can keep your self-respect and be more in control of what you want now.

My god, what a pathetic, weak, ridiculous little man. His wife-to-be isn't keeping the house up to scratch and poor little diddums is unhappy so he leaves his own children and runs back to Mummy so she can tell him what a precious little prince he is and kiss it all better and do all his chores for him properly?

There are NO words. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Either there is a lot more to this, or you are well, well rid.

Lol Alice is 18..
Jeezo, ok, i'm alright. The frying pan thing made me laugh, so that is good right?

Shit, I'm sorry, didn't see last post. What a cock.

Chuh - 18? I give it two fucking weeks as well.

What a twat.

"Well I would guess he's having an affair with Alice, she has kids and as next week is 1/2 term they are off for a jolly break together."

Or rather, she's off school for half term herself! Lovely.

Poor Alice, 18 years old and she's going out with a knob who'll expect her to cater for his every whim. Well ime 18yos have better things to do than hang around waiting for a man who has family commitments. She might have liked the thrill at first, but she'll be wanting to live her life, party, have a good time. Not tied to a man who moans about not having his washing done.

He's a fool.

He'll be begging for you back in a few months. Hopefully by then you'll be enjoying your new-found freedom and will tell him to get stuffed.

At 18, I'd have enjoyed having an older man run around after me. i'd have enjoyed it for about 5 months, then got bored and fucked him off, which is exactly what is going to happen to him.

Har har har. What a sad cunt.

What a shite eh. Cant believe his mum though? I mean what the hell? My mum would have kicked my arse.

Love your last sentence, Rhubarb! All true, all true.

xb2b, how about changing the wedding instead of cancelling it - turn into the biggest party you ever saw? (Without his cousins, natch)

You know, we will have lost what has been paid anyway, so may as well!

Who the fuck is Alice?

(sorry, I've always wanted to ask that)

She's the only Alice i know except that song too.. and Alice in Wonderland.