If you're good looking, is it harder to find someone who really is decent?

[electra]

......in much the same way that rich people sometimes don't know how much a person is with them for their money?

It's a serious question...

I'm sure this is true: and I know what you mean lequeen when you talk about flattering too much. I've dyed my hair brown and worn glasses deliberately when I was younger to get round things a little bit. (I was boring as well though so I just knew it was all about looks )

However I think it doesn't do to complain about it, as on the whole better looking people get better jobs, get paid more, get more attention in school and college and so on. It's pretty unfair. People might think they aren't shallow but they are. Looks don't help with the terrible sorrows of life. But there's no point pretending they don't help with a lot else.

I have found the opposite is true. At 16 I went from being to skinny and tall to tall and slim (enough for the odd approach by people to be an ahem model, which I turned down because I was way too aloof and academic, studying two degrees).

And in all honesty the world just became a better place, people were nicer, travelled the world and could turn up anywhere alone and people would be friendly, oh and didn't have to queue at clubs..

My lesson was the opposite and I thought crikey looks do make a difference.

But obviously they don't always shield you from bad stuff (sorry to hear all that Lequeen) but I was so innocent, unaffected and young I think I was in some sort of bubble.

But anyway my point is people were nicer to me rather than more awful. Although I did style it massively with short hair and 'directional' clothes, well, just because I could. That helped, and helped get rid of the leary men. I highly recommend it! (if leary men are a problem).

(although should add have long dark blonde hair now, not so easy to look as stunning as a fresh-faced 20 year old.)

Marsha, I travelled the world alone but was never alone as people were friendly again I wouldn't have thought it was anything to do with looks, more confidence and how you project yourself. If you felt better about your model figure perhaps that showed through.

Yes abouteve you are right. I think confidence is key.

Which also applies to the op, Electra you sound really lovely but your background could very well be undermining your confidence. Look after and value yourself, and hopefully you will find relationships with better men (oh and find new places to meet the men, if the places are not good now).

Lequeen this sounds odd but don't let it get you down (all amounts of warmth from here re this, and Electra) I've been called stunning by loads of people, even now. Even stopped in Hollywood by a couple of wealthy types in a convertible to be told I was beautiful (god what a sliding doors moment that was!, what did they want? I ran off to my boyfriend across road).

It has never got me down. How about jobs? Did you not find it easier to get a good job, I did, as they were client facing strategy type jobs (although again confidence helps).

I can't say I traded on my looks, quite the opposite, I was so feisty when I was young! But, but I still think life got immeasurably better, sunnier. Also I dismissed it, a perk but nothing more and decided for a challenge I would succeed in hardest career. So maybe write a book and get it published, that is quite hard to do. Let the stunning comments be water off ducks back.

The comment in the pub about being stunning is wonderful no? So fark it embrace something else (I now have work in museums internationially) do something really difficult like writing that book- you will feel excellent.

Oh whoops just saw there was a wife involved, oh well the man was tactless and unkind. But not your fault.

Oh my God, thank you all for the compliments.

I quite often end up protecting my friend from random drunken twats trying their chances. She's really stunning, so she must be thick enough to fall for "My wife doesn't understand me" "I still wear the ring because it doesn't come off" "We are splitting up" and even "Get rid of your lesbian mate and come clubbing with me"

Must add, we mercilessly take the piss out of these men, to their faces. Sometimes I tell her what to say next because although I'm sat their, they can't actually hear me or see me

(again, I mean I gave up strategy stuff to do my own art works, after an MA. I knew it would be hard, I didn't mean that strategy is a hard career!).
as you were

Well this has been a most interesting thread. Originally I wasn't sure whether many people would reply but I'm glad other people have similar problems to myself.

I find that socialising with female friends is very hard for reasons people have said. And this makes me sad because I like having girlfriends and I do believe I'm a good friend but I usually find girl friends suddenly drop me like a hot potato. I do not think it is because of anything I do because my oldest friends who are honest with me assure me that I'm a friendly, modest approachable woman. The only ones I can keep are the girls I have known from childhood. Single friends don't want me to go out with them in the evenings because they say I will get all the attention and those who are taken limit our social get togethers to about once or twice a year because as I said they are insecure about their DP/DH.

I know this thread is pretty much done.

But I have been thinking about it and realised that over half the people that give me compliments and say lovely things about being stunning and beautiful are from women.

Always has been.

I've never had a problem with that, also I love beautiful women. Recently at ds' school I've seen more good-looking women than have for a while (been in a vacuum), it's great. So I live in a jealousy-free world.

So I still fly the flag for it's better all round and I wonder why it's a different experience for pretty much everyone on the thread...