Not sure how to put this but how do I get over thinking that hmmm, bodily fluids are eeeuurrgghhhh during sex!

[ilikeyoursleeves]

As I said, not really sure how to put it! Was going to name change but what the hell... I've not always been like this (I don't think) but I don't particularly like all the 'ickiness' of sex! By that I really mean when DH comes- I never go down on him anymore after nearly puking at the taste of it, I don't like the smell of it, the feel of it or the smell or thought of oral sex. (I love receiving it though which probably makes me the world's most selfish lover!). And most often after having sex I have to go and wash my hands, is that normal?!

I feel like I can't let go and I'm worried DH will feel put out at the lack of adventure he's getting! I've had 2 DC's (youngest 6 months) so that might be a factor?

Anyone else like this or am I a freak?! Any hints to help me get back into it all? I enjoy sex once we get going but I'm usually too tired (surprise surprise), maybe things will get better once DS2 sleeps better.

[Malificence]

Perhaps you are put off by the "mess" due to having young children and the fact that you're dealing with bodily emissions day in, day out?

You could go down on him as a bit of foreplay, it doesn't have to be until completion as long as he plays fair .
I don't really have a suggestion for getting over it, I love it I'm afraid and yet I can't do the whole food + sex thing, it repulses me .

I think you've probably got into a habit with the hand washing tbh, how about baby wipes instead?

[nickschick]

I know somebody who keeps flash wipes in her bedside drawer truly i do.....

[Malificence]

I have nivea wipes in mine - DH calls them my "sex wipes".
There's a box of mansize sex tissues too.

What the hell does she need flash wipes for???? Has he got a scummy willy?

[ChocolateMoose]

You don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you do want to perservere with oral sex you could try having a bath together beforehand so all is nice and clean? And don't feel that it has to be the whole thing all the way to climax. No man IMO would complain about a bit of oral sex as part of foreplay (even a smidgen). Use your hands so you're not trying to do everything with your mouth and stop as soon as you want to.

There are other ways of varying sex that don't increase the bodily fluid factor - you could talk to your DH in the hope you find something you'd both like. And given that you're knackered and have a baby, pat yourself on the back for managing to have sex at all.

[ilikeyoursleeves]

No given several BJ's but nearly puked after giving one years ago (to someone else in when I was in another relationship), so I've never swallowed with DH I don't think anyway. I've gne down on him but always get out the way before he gets too into it LOL.

We tried for a baby for 5 years so I have had plenty times lying there with his sperm falling back out of me and I didn't mind a jot, it's just the whole in my mouth thing I think! Or smelling it urgh it smells of bleach IMO!

[Malificence]

Flavoured lube! There are so many flavours now, I'm sure you can find one you like. I'm quite partial to the taste of durex lubes (but not the flavoured ones - too sickly) the durex play lube is minty and not too sweet. If you're a bit put off by the taste of his flesh you could use some mouthwash and you won't taste anything else.

Alternatively, you could cheat and buy a masturbatory toy for him, one that simulates oral sex, you could use it on him and if you choose a closed ended one, voila - no mess!

[Malificence]

Actually Kerry, I would hope that most men , even if they adore BJ's, wouldn't want their partner to do anything they didn't enjoy doing.

[ilikeyoursleeves]

Thanks Kerry for that advice Thankfully even my DH doesn't say 'I should' do it to him.

Flavoured lube is an idea I hadn't thought of that, or nutella Actually that would create a bigger mess and look like shit!

[AnyFucker]

kerry, MN has reliably informed us in the past that there are such men around

I don't believe it myself

[ChocolateMoose]

Kerry, I don't think my DH is bothered that I don't give him 'full' BJs, spunk and all. He's very open if he'd like us to do anything different with sex and I don't think he's ever mentioned it. Not wanting to sound defensive here, but just wanted to be clear to the OP that it's not an all or nothing thing for all men.

[AnyFucker]

am not sure I follow you with those four, kerry

[MarineIguana]

I kind of know what you mean. I do like to have a box of hankies to hand and if I remember, a t-shirt out of the washing basket so I can mop everything up asap - I hate lying around in cold, wet stuff. BJs - just go most of the way then switch to hand job.

[Malificence]

Try the lovehoney forums Kerry, there are quite a few men on there who say they dont enjoy receiving oral, strange as it seems.

Any sexual act should never be a "chore" and the giver should enjoy it just as much as the taker.

If you did decide to brave it and swallow - keep him deep in your mouth and keep swallowing it down your throat, it will barely register on your tastebuds - if he does taste vile, pineapple juice really does sweeten the taste, being properly hydrated helps too, the longer between ejaculations, the stronger the taste too.

[EssenceOfJack]

Flavoured lube is a good idea, or even flavoured condoms.
We got a free load from nurse when I was having 'coil issues' and they do chocolate flavour now but that means he woudl get most of the pleasure without you having to worry about anything connecting IYSWIM.

Agree with kerry though, does he smoke? or eat garlic? they are icky...

[Malificence]

Then my DH is proof that your urban myths are in fact , true Kerry.

Btw, mine doesn't come with oral 90% of the time, I'd have to leave him alone for a fortnight! He likes it as foreplay, he says it's a lovely appetiser to the main meal.

Lovely opinion of men you have there.

[akhems]

I had a b/f who didn't like receiving bjs.. in the end it was part of the downfall of our relationship cos I missed them, lol

I'm like Kerry I think.. I like all the mess and goo