Long-time lurker here. Have seen your other threads, too.
Scorps, you need to take a really hard, long look at yourself.
You are edging closer to talking to him about feelings, emotions, how awful you feel your life is now, how all you ever wanted was for you to be a family. All that is fine, but not with him. Never with him. It never was, nor will it be.
Unless you can poke out your eyes, so you can forever turn a blind eye to him shagging around.
Unless you can let go of the last of your self-respect and demean yourself by submitting to someone who has shown in a myriad of ways how he will never give you what you need.
Unless you can look your daughters in the face as they grow, giving them the message that mummy never thought enough of herself to kick this fucker into touch for good.
Once you start istening to his whining (and you already are...his shit should have no space in your head right now, or ever), you will crumble. You need to stop stalking him on FB, stop gagging for updates on how sad he is feeling, stop torturing yourself.
You are a grown-up mother of 4 dc.
You can behave better than this, for yourself and your children.
Please do not give him any more space to fuck you over. I fear another cycle of this wear you down, lull into false sense of security, isolate from friends and family, wine and roses bullshit then ultimately kick you in tha face again will destroy you.
One man is not worth this. Get him out of your head, by force of will.
You can do it. You have to. Or say goodbye to the last of your self-respect (and frankly, if the respect of others means anything to you, to that too)
I am so sorry, this is so very harsh. I have sat by while very generous and kind people have tried to nurture you, and listen to you, and gently guide you. But I fear you are on a path only you can halt.
That is it.