I did a bad, bad thing.....and I'm sort of thinking I'd like to do it again

[SlinkyMuminky]

OK, sorry if this is a bit long. Have only ever posted on MN a couple of times, tend to be a bit of a lurker. Know you ladies are very good at talking some sense into people, so would love you to do the same for me.

Have worked for my present boss for nearly 15 years. He's a charming alpha male, very successful in his career and we get on extremely well - he works out of our NY office, whilst I am London based. I am also quite senior in our company, and have made it this far - I believe - purely on my own merit .

So, Saturday evening he's in the UK for a Christmas function, we both get extremely drunk and he ends up staying in my hotel room. We did nothing but spend the night together, mainly talking and kissing a few times. No sex, not even close. I was in PJs in bed the whole night.

Now, I'll pause to mention that I believe I have a strong marriage. My husband's not the easiest of men to live with, but I love him and we've been together a long time. We have DTs aged 3 and this has put inevitable strain on our relationship. The last couple of years have been hard and any notions of romance feel long abandoned.

I am obviously feeling very guilty for what I've done....but I'm now imagining how great it would have been to go further and would love to do it again.

I know this is utterly stupid, and also know why I am doing it. Looking for some escapist, romantic nonsense, but unfortunately I live in a world with commitments and responsibilities and feel like I'm in the middle of a 'holiday romance'.

There is no positive outcome to even considering trying for round two. I have a beautiful family to consider, and my professional reputation would be severely damaged. People would assume I was only in the position I am because I'd slept with my boss.

So, come on ladies, please come tell me what a twat I'm being and shake some sense into me.

Thanks

Have just caught up with this thread after a day of xmas shopping. Ever tried to find a dressing up outfit for a little girl, that isn't a princess or a fairy? Impossible - grrr.

Anyway Bobbiewickham, I just wanted to say that I think you're being very brave. I would not have judged you if you had said you were going to throw in the towel and pursue happiness with your friend. But your decision to try to stick with your marriage is a pretty noble one I think. Best of luck. Sending you loads of moral support.

Thanks Jeni7

my friend had a similar issue, its the thrill and the naughtyness of it all

but you could lose EVERYTHING for NOTHING, worse case scenario this is it. Husband tells you to fuck off, boss not interested, family broke!

dont be silly and put it in the box and bury that box

You made you choice. No excuses now. Not everyone has chosen commeitments and responsibilities. I have plenty of Childfree friends who love their life and have no ties.

Kids are lifestyle accessories that you purposely went after.

It is their choice and they can behave badly because they are not cheating on anyone.

You are different because you made an oath, signed papers and brought kids into the world.

Slinky - if things were going badly in your career, would you think it wiser to invest in your career, or to jettison it altogether?

Same goes for your marriage. You will damage your WHOLE family if you pursue an affair, and your husband and children may never, ever forgive you. Don't be stupid. Do intelligent relating. Best of luck.