words in Lonely hearts columns that put you off.

[2rebecca]

Reading the Lonely hearts column whilst eating dinner (bloke out and I'm one of those antisocial people who loves to eat and read, and drink)
it struck me there were definite word phrases that shrieked "no, avoid like the plague" when reading them.

Examples are "tactile" man seeks... Do some women like men who can't stop groping?

"hurt in past" why would any bloke think this was unusual or a selling point? Masochists who like moany men only need apply.

"likes animals"....the mind boggles

"seeks caring and understanding woman" sounds like he needs a therapist not an equal partner.

"seeks 5ft 2 in woman" ????

You do wonder when you only have a few sentences to sell yourself in why some folk put such strange stuff in.

I can see why speed dating and online dating have taken over.

"Seeks no-strings fun" - is married

"Well groomed" - if I wanted to date a horse I'd be looking at the pets column, not Lonely Hearts

"Young 52" - is at least 60, wears a wig

"Seeks slim lady"

I hate the "enjoys pubbing and clubbing but equally happy with cosy nights in on sofa" I detest that line it is so over-used and unimaginative.

Also hate when they say 'no time wasters, had enough of being messed around'

any 'hurt in past' crapola.

Would distrust any bloke over 25 who is into clubbing. All my blokes have hated nightclubs and dancing and usually only gone either because they are the only place in town still serving alcohol or because they're trying to pull.

'open minded' = swinger/dogger

"solvent" = broke and looking to cocklodge

It wouldn't put me off if a man was into clubbing over 25. I like a man who likes dancing and music.

'Tactile' man is definately a turn off.

"for friendship and possibly more"

possibly more? whats that then, playing scrabble?
just say it like it is
"for friendship and sex (if you're not a complete minger)"

seeks 'open relationship' = anything goes, some of it barely legal

Man aged 50 seeks woman aged 20-30. Dream on...

Zany.

Worse is 'like children' .

I never understand why people say what their name is -like 'Lee, 25, looking for...' what a waste of a word!

Oh, I like to see their name. Allows you to be completely judgey and imagine excatly what they are like - come on don't fib, you know we all do it!!!

gsoh = laughs at inane shite

'friends think I'm good looking'= they are lying because they are your friends, you are actually a munter

Sensitive and shy - completely irritating wet drip.

Cuddly= hugely fat

Larger than life= Even fatter but loud and irritating with it.

Anyone who stipulates any colour probably has some sort of fetish and should be avoided.

Also old men asking to meet women in their 20's is a bit sad.

"Adult fun" esp. "no strings attached adult fun" - no emoticon for being sick unfortunately!

Cuddly= hugely fat

Larger than life= Even fatter but loud and irritating with it.

hehe

Pineapplechunks you have given me the laugh of the day.

"wicked sense of humour" = dangerous nutter

"for nights in" = too f'ing tight to pay for a restaurant

Likes sports - can't string a sentence together

at this thread. I always thought "nights in" meant he wanted to get straight down to shagging.

I always thoughts likes sports was a euph for watersports (and thats not waterskiing)

oh god no that hadn't even occurred to me

Shurely not?

Or could mean, likes drooling over beach volleyball on the telly.