dh having affair

[husbandhavingaffair]

Just found out dh having affair with my best friend.

Says she makes him feel loved.

we have two babies 15 months and 2.5

been married 14 years.

she is part of the babies life day in day out, even calls herself the nanny

What do i do?

haven't posted on this thread before, but wanted to send you a cyber-hug and let you know someone was here - have not been in your shoes, but can offer a shoulder? (for a while, as I leave this computer in 30 mins)

Just fed up of putting on a brave face. Although on compassionate leave can't just hide away, some parts of my job i go and do because it is normal for the children. Sorry this sounds confusing but we work around the children and with the children coz of the type of job.

Some said i looked fed up today. Well what a surprise.

Worried about the practicalities of his actions

But sure it will work itself out

if you are on compassionate leave, can you go and visit family for a few days, get some distance from home - with the children - unless you can't take them out of school?

I'm really sorry I can't be of more help, have to log-off now, I really hope you get some peace. Have you any good, trustworthy friends that you could visit ie people you don't need a brave face for? (leaving the kids with your h?)

Hope today is a good day for you. Any chance of getting a holiday planned in for early summer? It sounds like you need something to look forward too!

chances of holiday fat and slim just about sums it up i think. We had our main hols end of May.

Did think about getting away for a few days but parents live 150 miles away, so no one to look after children and can't take the older ones out of school.

Mind you i think being off work is going to cost a fortune in shopping trips. But hey nothing like retail therapy to make you feel better is there

Hi, i dont post on your thread cause i have nothing constructive or helpful to sat iykwim.

but i am thinking of you, and i think your a very strong lady

(((((((hugs))))))))

Thanks happyhuggy helps to know there are people who care even if we don't know each other

HHA - also wanted to add my support for u, u hold you're head up high honney. this other 'woman' (If u can call her that) has shown her true colours.

he he on retail therapy - yes it does help - but be careful not to overspend - I tend to and get into debt! still anyhow ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) for you honney. keep being strong. ooh and good luck for friday with personel, I hope everything works out for you at work.

Oh my word. What do you do when reality hits.

Worse case scenario. DH faces disciplinary and is sacked. I decide to carry on doing a job we can barely manage between the two of us.

Or He gets sacked i resign, leaving us with no house, car, job.

Best case scenario is that they don't sack him, but reality slim.

Even if they don't then we face having to move. DD2 has already started welsh high school, to do intensive welsh course.

What are we going to do?

Sorry unfair to ask such a question that no one can answer. This is all such a mess. Been through a whole heap of emotions today. Cried most of the day, have wanted to die, run away, with kids, without kids, actually what i really want more than anything else is to wake up and this to have not happened.

This is the worse thing i have ever been through. Our whole lives hang in the balance of other people.

We have to believe that God has handle on all of this. We need a miracle, I believe in them for other people but just at this minute it seems that what we want is never going to work out. Some of our teenagers have texted us today to see if we ok as we on (compassionate leave) now they gonna ask the girls and all we told them is that we have been given some time out.

I don't know what to tell them or not tell them. I want to protect them at all costs but i also dont want them wondering and learning things off other people.

I just want out.

hope your having a better day today. any news on your jobs, house ect big hugs

Message withdrawn

good luck for your meeting tommorrow think of u all.

how did things go for u kath? ((hugs)))

Hope the meeting went well.

The meeting didn't happen as he was comming from London and he said he couldn't come due to Thursdays events.

It is now scheduled for Wed.

I really don't think we will be staying here whichever way it works out.

If he is dismissed then i have to decide whether i want to stay in my job. A job that we struggle with between us, and if he will be out to work then it is going to be near on impossible.

But if i stay i have security of house and car.

Went to dd2 open evening at high school on wed and just felt i was living a lie for her. Cant buy uniform. Took me all my time to fight back the tears.

Think i've cried more this week than ever.

I don't know what the future holds but do feel that this is going to be alright somehow. But at the same time i know this is going to devestate the girls.

oops posted under wrong name, but hey there we go

went shopping today which was a mistake because this woman is so boring that she goes to the same town every saturday, and low and behold who should be coming the other way but her and her sister and mother. dd2 said look there's
I reacted and jsut said dd name, when dd1 asked why i did that i just said she doesnt have to go shouting all through town does she. But she must know that something is going on seems that both dh and myself only managed to say hello as we passed.

I would have loved to have it out with her there and then, but i would have only been lowering myself to her standard so whats the point.

If we have to move though i will be so angry that she will get it at some point. i still have some of her stuff that needs returning and i cant see me just taking it up there and saying there we go and leaving again.

Forgiveness is choosing not to hurt the person who has wronged you. mmm think that may take some working on