I have totally been played - what an idot... and when did dating all get so compllicated?

[beenplayed]

Basically title says it all.
Im back in the dating game after getting divorced. All ready to move on.
Chatted to lots of guys, not met up.. not liked them enough.
Then... WHAM! met this fantastic bloke. Hit it off like nothing before. Constant emails/texts. All got a bit raunchy, x rated pics, texts, msn and cyber sex. ( not something i have done before!!)
It was like this for a week. We had agreed to meet up.

Then nothing. He goes totally cold and has now ignored my last email/text.

I dont get it at all... have been totally played havent i!

What an idiot, lesson learnt.

'and i still think your skanky'

coming from someone who sends photos of her tits to some random guy, thinks you can check someone out using tools like Facebook and never learned that 'your' is a possessive and 'you're' is the contracted form of you are.

okay.

LOL.

omg - are you really that desperate to get the upper hand that you have to start pulling me up on my grammer/typing!!!

Bloody ridiclous.

and yes - still think your skanky and to be honest, a bit of a bitch.

I'm with QS, you're touchy about this and if you're going to 'date' and all this stuff online you really need to grow a thicker skin.

You're all outraged because this total stranger cut contact with you.

You're all outraged because some total stranger thinks cyber 'sex' is pitiful.

You're all outraged because someone suggested you pay for it.

Honestly, when you put yourself out there, literally, on the www, you're going to get burned from time to time.

But saying you were 'played' over something that didn't even happen excpet in cyberspace, saying you wanted nothing but to shag this stranger, then slagging off people who have had partners and 'you started it'.

Well, it's not hard to see what kind of person you're going to attract when you go online trying to 'date'.

Haahahaaa.

Best of luck getting laid, OP.

Really, you're going to need it.

Wasn't there a thread recently where somebodies DH had been caught doing something like this, including sending the same type of pictures? I just wonder if this could be a similar situation and he's been caught out by a DW? IF so, you have probably had a lucky escape!

Beenplayed, you don't sound desperate or fucking sad or outraged IMO.

Not sure why you're getting such a hard time from some posters.

But agree with the posters who say chalk it up to experience, people aren't always what they seem and that is relevant both in RL situations and online. I've only ever met men face to face, and unfortunately, most of them have been liars.

My best advice? Get yourself a vibrator

All amusing banter aside, ladies, can I just point something out?
Please be careful about meeting someone just for sex. Some guys are dangerous, and you won't get any warning via the internet/texting. Take care of yourself.
I'm honestly really worried about what you might come up against (no pun intended) if you don't get to know someone properly first.
I honestly think it's really risky :S

But also remember, most murders are committed by someone known to the victim not some random psycopathic stranger.

Hm, I wasn't thinking about murder, I agree Supercherry, it's pretty unlikely.

I was just thinking you might get yourself in a situation where someone forces you to do something you're not happy with...

Oh, and I'm not being judgey, I'm just worried for your safety. I met someone on a dating site, talked to him online for months, not much rude stuff, but a bit, and no-one knew I was meeting him. Luckily he was lovely, but in hindsight I'm horrified at what I risked.

Maybe I'm just being boring ;)

pic, I agree with you

I know I am boring ( read, oldfashioned) in these matters, but I said earlier in the thread that the type of bloke these sites attract is questionable

take that one step further and you may come across someone who has another agenda.....

No, I agree with your sentiment, Picmaestress, it's just that I think you are just as likely to meet someone dodgy face to face as you are online that's all.

Even crimes like rape are more likely to be committed by someone known to the victim though, that's if statistics are to be belived. The nicest seeming man in the world could be dodgy behind closed doors.

I would have thought that paying for it was a much easier option than all the grief you might get from setting up a one-night stand/no strings sex.

At least both parties know what the score is- and there is no worry about whether feelings are involved.

I really don't know if women are cut out for one night stands- (waits for chorus of Oh yes we are)- maybe you THINK you are, but your indignance over this guy seems to show that your feelings are much more involved than you admit.

If you meet a guy you like enough to have sex with, and then he rejects you, either for more sex or something more emotional, how will you feel then? Based on your reaction here, not great.

If you want to satisfy a purely physical need either buy a rabbit and pleasure yourself, or pay for an escort- much simpler.

just a thought, but as you're most likely to get burned by your DH/ exDH aren't you safer getting divorced and meeting random internet penises?

Shouldn't that be penii?

I think thats exacally the point!

People lie, both in real life and on the net. There is no way to protect yourself from this... Not one person on this board can say that they havent been lied to at some point. Even if they have previously met them, seen them face to face or whatever.
A bloke you pull in a pub/bar is just a likely to lie and someone you meet online.
There is no fool proof way of meeting people. You just have to go with your instincts ( which can be wrong sometimes). Also when i think about when i was a lot younger and would go out on the pull and happily go off to some random blokes house... i mean thats hardly safe at all is it? If i do ever meet anyone from online i will make sure i have a safety network in place. I also would NEVER bring anyone back to my place who i didnt know, esp as i have a child in the house.

To the posters that have put that im 'indignant' or outraged by this blokes behaviour. Im not, not at all. Just a bit confused as the whole 'dating' thing seems to be so very very different now. Which a lot of other posters have backed up.

and expat - really you should be ashamed of your posts. I could quite easily make some digs at you ( yes im a regular and been on here for YEARS! but have name changed) But i havent. You do really need to learn when to shut up.

Whatevas, beenplayed. I didn't say anymore than some other people on here and would have said exactly the same thing even if you hadn't changed your name, because, well, I don't change my name.

Go ahead and have digs away, you're the one who's hiding behind a name change.

Anyone who is meeting people via personal ads )(whether that's on the interweb or the good old fashioned box number method) needs to follow the basic safety rules:
ALways meet in a public place and don;t give your home address until you have met the person and are comfortable with him/her
Tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back.
Have an agreement with a friend to check in via phone after a certain time
If you are uncomfortable with a person when you are in a public place with other people and all your clothes on, do not go anywhere 'more private' with this person.

the funniest thing I have read on this thread was 'at least I got laid'

The saddest thing I read was 'i sent him a photo of my tits'

....then you called Expat 'skanky' because she preferred to actually meet somebody before she shagged them??

expat was trying to be helpful as much as i could understand.
but you got touchy about a word i think.
if you read carefully in that way you might see that.
its hard to meet someone nice.
you can check 'where interesting fit men' threads in LP section (i think abouteve mentioned that before) and move on.
that men was one of the kinds i guess who wanted free cyber sex and left it there. there are many different kinds of them on net or at the bars.
they know how to play with LPs.
so next time be careful.
good luck.

Beenplayed- Is the dating scene really that different- or is it that the internet etc makes it more complicated?

what's happened to old-fashioned getting to know someone, liking them, THEN having sex? It seems to be the desire to have sex with a stranger who waves his dick at you on webcam that's making life complicated for you.

If you totally divorce sex from emotions - but then realsie you can't or it is "complciated" them perhaps you need to think about whether using a guy just to have a shag is what you really need.