I have totally been played - what an idot... and when did dating all get so compllicated?

[beenplayed]

Basically title says it all.
Im back in the dating game after getting divorced. All ready to move on.
Chatted to lots of guys, not met up.. not liked them enough.
Then... WHAM! met this fantastic bloke. Hit it off like nothing before. Constant emails/texts. All got a bit raunchy, x rated pics, texts, msn and cyber sex. ( not something i have done before!!)
It was like this for a week. We had agreed to meet up.

Then nothing. He goes totally cold and has now ignored my last email/text.

I dont get it at all... have been totally played havent i!

What an idiot, lesson learnt.

So beenplayed Would you rather he'd slept with you and then dumped you??

Yes.
i would have rather that.

Then i would have got what i wanted. I only wanted him for one reason for about an hour.

I realise that makes me sound like a slut - im not. promise. Totally respectable person, work for a charity, shop at waitrose..... LOL.

Im maybe one of the small number of women who can seperate love and sex and all i was interested in was the latter.

why don't you go to the pub and pull a bloke if all you want is a shag ?

you are more likely to not pick up a total plonker, as the visual and verbal clues will be a lot more easy to read

tbh, you sound as weird as he does

It doesn't make you sound like a slut.

But here come the flames because what it really makes you sound like is a bit of a saddo.

I mean, I've had a 'varied' sex life, but sending someone you don't even know pics of your tits and saying you HAD to have him when you hadn't even met him sounds desperate.

Why not go to a pub or bar and pull someone? At least you can say if you were played it was in real life.

great minds, exp

I'm a veteran of many a one-night stand and fling, AnyFucker, but at least I met them in real life before shagging them.

Besides, there was always the element of surprise when their cock popped out - it adds a bit of spice to life, well, most of the time.

I just don't get this online stuff

get down the pub and stick ya tits out, if thats what floats ya boat

you won't short of offers........

Well I think people are being a bit unkind to the OP here.

I'm guessing at circumstances here but if you're a single parent(?) it's not that easy to go out and just pick up someone in a bar. You have to get to the bar first! Hence the popularity of online dating. You do need a combination of nerves/thick skin.

I'm something of a veteran here and would say that you've maybe been a bit naive (I have too in the past), but that's not a crime. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Also, don't beat yourself up about sending the pics. And there's nothing wrong with just wanting a shag either, as long as you look after yourself.

It's considered normal to meet men off the internet nowadays. I've done it once or twice but find the whole thing strange and far removed from the traditional ways, e.g the pub.

I also find it alien that people do expect that they are having a normal start to a relationship when they haven't even met the person.

Not saying this was the case with the OP. She thought this guy was up for a one night stand and felt dissapointed that he didn't bother to follow through in RL. Perhaps she doesn't get the chance to go to the pub to meet men.

ok, will accept is not always easy to eg. get to the pub

sorry OP, but I do still fail to underatand why you called this "dating" in your thread title

it certainly is not dating

oh well, lesson learned for you

good luck for future man-hunting

'I'm guessing at circumstances here but if you're a single parent(?) it's not that easy to go out and just pick up someone in a bar. You have to get to the bar first! Hence the popularity of online dating.'

Yeah, but then how easy is it to get out to meet the guy for a bang? Or invite them back to yours for a shag?

See what I mean.

If you want to 'meet' someone for sex, then you'll eventually need to find a physical place for the sex, so why not just go to a pub for a knee-trembler in the alley out back behind the wheelie bin and get it out of your system?

Snap, eve!

It can feel odd meeting people off the internet but as an introduction tool there's nothing wrong with it IMO.

You don't even need a pub!

Back before I met and married DH, I once felt the need for a man, but figured I'd wait till night to hit my usual bar, but as it is was Saturday afternoon I decided to nip into my local cafe for a cappucino.

And whaddya know, a suitable man approached me after hearing me on the phone.

Conversation ensued, innuendo ensued and he said he would like to go to bed with me.

Well, whaddya know, my bed was just up the block.

So I was able to bang him, get him on his way, get showered and still have time for dinner before a night on the tiles!

Well I wouldn't expect to be able to pick someone up in a pub first time out. So it would make sense to suss them out by internet first if a guaranteed shag is what you are after.

expat, I like your style!!

Well in my experience as a single parent, if I have spare child free time then I use that to meet up with someone - should I want to and should the opportunity arise.

they don't sell cappucino round here sadly. I could have been sure of a that night shag 20 years ago in the city. Now, the randiest creature in the bar is the farmer's old sheepdog

right janos! and a bit of research first is no bad thing when your free time is that hard to come by

ninah

Just caught up with this, lol at Ninah.

yep - im a single parent.
I dont get much free time at all.
Im not interested in a relationship at the momment, dont have the time or the inclination tbh.

I dont really want to be trawling the bars looking for some bloke i might fancy.

What i do want is a guaranteed shag on my one child free day a month. I dont want to talk to him, i dont want to go out, i dont want bloody flowers, i just want sex.

Its really that simple.......
Just in practise its not.... ANd i wasnt hurt by it just confused and a bit annoyed as i was left rather high and dry.

ALso i would say meeting someone off the internet is probably safer than a one night stand from someone you meet in a pub. You can check them out on facebook and all sorts first. Plus get their number, workplace etc.....
In any case, i dont need to defen my position - there are plenty of other men and women doing exacally the same thing.

agreed
tho if the cocks on most of the sites I've been on match the faces I'm stocking up on Boneo

i think also it depends how select you are in choosing a shag-ee

if you don't fancy many men, meeting one on a random night out is less likely than hunting one down on tinterweb.

actually i think plenty of people can separate sex from love, just maybe not sex from ego...

Some of the replies on here smack off the old double standard! Bloke wants a shag its all "go on my son!!", Woman wants a shag its all "oh you are desperate saddo"

OP, its seems to me that he got caught out, hence he deregistered, cos lets face it, a bloke on a site like that isnt gonna refuse no strings sex.

Move on mate, and remember theres always plenty more cocks in the sea!