I have totally been played - what an idot... and when did dating all get so compllicated?

[beenplayed]

Basically title says it all.
Im back in the dating game after getting divorced. All ready to move on.
Chatted to lots of guys, not met up.. not liked them enough.
Then... WHAM! met this fantastic bloke. Hit it off like nothing before. Constant emails/texts. All got a bit raunchy, x rated pics, texts, msn and cyber sex. ( not something i have done before!!)
It was like this for a week. We had agreed to meet up.

Then nothing. He goes totally cold and has now ignored my last email/text.

I dont get it at all... have been totally played havent i!

What an idiot, lesson learnt.

Fatfree - yeah i agree.
and
Oneopionionated - yeah ive a bruised ego! LOL.
I am picky, i dont want to just shag anyone.
For safetys sake i would rather check them out first ( at least if i meet them online i can tell a friend where i am, give them the blokes details give her a time to ring and if i dont answer she knows theres a problem)
That is safer than meeting some random bloke in a bar and going back to his place or bringing him back to mine.

I dont have to time to randomly hang around places waiting for some bloke to be interested.
I know what i want and i dont really see the problem with trying to get it.

By beenplayed on Sun 16-Aug-09 09:04:20
AH - well he has now de registered his account from that site.

So im guessing he was either married, or had a gf and maybe got caught out but def was doing it for cheap thrills.

Ah well - live and learn hey!

There is a thread in Relationships where a woman with a 2 week old baby discovered that her husband has been on numerous sites, emailed/texted (whatever) pics of his cock with view to meeting women for sex. If this is the same guy, not only is he married, has a 2 week old baby, and is an utter knob.

Hope you manage to get your kicks somewhere else, though.

quint - thats terrible. I feel very sorry for her.
BUT
i am not responsible for that.

If a bloke is on a dating site it is him that put himself on there. NOT the women he might be chatting to.
It is HIM that is the lowlife scum, NOT the women on there looking for soulmate/dating/sex.

Dont even for a second try to imply that i may be the cause of this... or that i am going after other womens husbands for cheap thrills.

ALSO
I would never sleep with someone if i knew they were married or had a GF. Thats the whole point of meeting them online... you can check these things out ( esp if they add you to their facebook/myspace or whatever)

I should also point out that if you have a one night stand, that they could also be married or have a GF.

If the bloke is a lying shit then the women he is lying to can hardly be blamed.

beenplayed, if a bloke is going to lie, he will lie online too

I don't understand how you can "check him out before you meet him"

you thought you had this guy "checked out" but you got it wrong

there are always twats and there are always nice guys

call me old-fashioned, but I am a firm believer in sussing someone out face to face, so I can see the whites of their eyes

Totally agree - if a bloke is going to lie, he is going to lie.

BUT
i am not responsible for that.

I am really offended that quint implied that it was my fault. Or even any of the 100's other SINGLE women on the dating sites ( and there are quite a few MNetters too, check out the fit and avalible men thread on lone parents)

Some blokes lie, some blokes are twats - hell i was married to one just like that!!
Blokes can lie online, they can lie weeks into a relationship, they can lie YEARS into a relationship. You can look at the whites of someones eyes and they can be lying and you dont even know.

Not for a moment saying YOU are the cause of this. The guy is the cause, in the other thread. Whether your guy and her husband were the same guy, does not matter. YOU are single, and free to date/have sex with whomever you want and you acted in good faith.

But, come on, how many blokes are out there on dating sites sending pics of their cocks? What a co-incidence, huh?!

Or is it maybe the norm these days?

holy COW you are touchy.

bp, I don't think quint was implying that you are some sort of intentional marriage wrecker

I am assuming she was referring to the types of men that use these sites (and post pics of their erect cocks, wtf ???)

I am not speaking from experience, so will easily be shot down, but I would imagine for every decent bloke on these sites, there are dozens more perves, players and unfaithful bastards

it seems clear to me

AnyFucker, you got it.

'I would never sleep with someone if i knew they were married or had a GF. Thats the whole point of meeting them online... you can check these things out ( esp if they add you to their facebook/myspace or whatever)'

No. 1, you can't 'meet' someone until you've seen them in the flesh.

No. 2, you are really, really naive if you think you can check things out from someone's online persona.

sounds like he is scum. get out there and meet guys face to face, it is the best way.
that way you get to know them befor you get too personal.
but dont give up looking because there are some nice guys out there.
i should know, i found one.

'there are dozens more perves, players and unfaithful bastards'

because seriously, coming at this from someone who's well into the double digits, IYKWIM, only a complete and utter skeezer nasty perv would send a person he's never met pictures of his erect cock (assuming it really was his).

Quint - its quite the norm.
You wouldnt believe how many i have been sent in the past.

Im not touchy, im defending myself after you did imply that i was chasing married men.

Any - yep totally right there is - slightly more than in real life. But so what? Should all the single women just sit at home doing nothing just because some bloke may or may not be a twat?

'Quint - its quite the norm.
You wouldnt believe how many i have been sent in the past.'

That's one of the saddest fucking things I've read all day, tbh.

You mean to say you can't even meet up with a person without exchanging photos of each other's genetalia and cyber 'sex', sorry, but that's got to be the dumbest fucking 14-year-old thing out there?

are you sure the photos was his own photo?
on net they can easily pretend you know.
maybe he wasnt someone so handsome like on that photo, so he couldnt face to meet you?
i dont know the details about that.
or maybe he was just after free cyber, phone sex thats it.

Expat
Totally disagree

Lots and Lots of people 'meet' online. same as this is 'chatting' online....except its not chatting is it... its typing. Maybe mumsnet should from now on be called a typing forum!!

Secondly, yes you can, or why else are there so many more occurances of identity theft etc... Its because you CAN get CERTAIN info online.

snap, ideas!

'Lots and Lots of people 'meet' online. same as this is 'chatting' online....except its not chatting is it... its typing. Maybe mumsnet should from now on be called a typing forum!!'

Yeah, but you weren't just chatting, you were exchanging photos of genitals and cyber 'sex' and a bunch of raunchy emails.

Hardly discussing Joseph Brodsky.

Yes it is sad

But its not me thats bloody sending them is it!!!!!

Honestly, you chat to a guy for a bit, give him your email address, next thing you know theres a cock in your inbox.

LOL

Thats how it seems to be now.

But then again, i think hanging out in coffee bars and picking up blokes and shagging them is pretty skanky too... so i guess we are even.

'But then again, i think hanging out in coffee bars and picking up blokes and shagging them is pretty skanky too... so i guess we are even.'

Except I actually got laid.

also - i do think the cock was his..
he texted it.....
unless he has picks of his mates cocks stored in his phone?

LOL

There is nothing wrong with having cyber sex. there is nothing wrong with sending pictures of your bits to other people when you are in a cyber-sex situation or at least an online communication setup where the agenda is sexual (anyone who sends you a picture of his/her genitalia on a cookery chat forum is possibly a bit mental). OP I can understand your disappointment here, but I think it's abit unfair to say this guy 'played' you - both of you wanted casual sex and it didn't happen to work out, that's all.

and i still think your skanky