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Original poster

I have totally been played - what an idot... and when did dating all get so compllicated?

146 replies

beenplayed · 15/08/2009 17:59

Basically title says it all.
Im back in the dating game after getting divorced. All ready to move on.
Chatted to lots of guys, not met up.. not liked them enough.
Then... WHAM! met this fantastic bloke. Hit it off like nothing before. Constant emails/texts. All got a bit raunchy, x rated pics, texts, msn and cyber sex. ( not something i have done before!!)
It was like this for a week. We had agreed to meet up.

Then nothing. He goes totally cold and has now ignored my last email/text.

I dont get it at all... have been totally played havent i!

What an idiot, lesson learnt.

OP posts:
Original poster
beenplayed · 16/08/2009 23:00

you know what solid

thats a fair comment

What i do object to is the rubbish that some of the OPS are coming out with.

OP posts:
Remotew · 16/08/2009 23:00

Come on the chances of this bloke being the married one from the other thread are pretty slim.

Also if OP had indulged in cyber sex then I'm sure she knew that the cock was the one attached to the guy.

ideasplz · 16/08/2009 23:03

its just another experience for you, just put in your book, and look forward.

hambler · 16/08/2009 23:03

beenplayed, what a bummer.It's always a disappointment when ANYONE does not deliver on ANYTHING they have agreed.

I can't understand why some here are having a mild go at you.

Original poster
beenplayed · 16/08/2009 23:05

I know - i dont even care about that now

What i care about is that
' Some one on the internet is WRONG'!!!!

LOL

and yes, - i still think the cock was his... i had an interesting seris of photos he texted me.

LOL - its all quite funny, at least i can laugh about it,

OP posts:
Remotew · 16/08/2009 23:09

At least you can laugh about it now. You had a hard time because being open to meeting someone from the internet makes you appear available to any guy whether married, single etc which makes you appear a threat to other women.

I bet you are really fussy

oneopinionatedmother · 16/08/2009 23:10

yeah, i mean i wouldn't bother sending porn via phone, or email, but because it does nothing for me, not because i believe its wrong.

some people really love that stuff, are happy to express themselves in that fashion and have other halves who like that too. just because i don't get it, doesn't mean its wrong. My sister is very happy to do that sort of thing (and thinks im a prude) and hasn't been out with any more/less wankers than i have. (she's shagged alot more, but that's different)

the serendipitousharlot obviously didn't come a cropper (though did end up married - online dating - dangerous eh?)

@solidgold - largely agree but i think the bloke in this case was just after getting some textual gratification rather than performing the horizontal mosh. Pehaps cos he's married, perhaps he's just a saddo, who knows?

hambler · 16/08/2009 23:12

"someone on the internet is WRONG!!!"

Incidentally a recently divorced friend has done a heap of internet dating/flirting and has had lots of instances of full on flirting/cybersex(and even some meet ups) followed by being completely blanked

Original poster
beenplayed · 16/08/2009 23:14

yeah i am really fussy

LOL

and i know for sure that i have slept with a lot less men than certain posters.

I am not a threat in any way to anyones otherhalf.
Its still not my fault though if married/committed men set up fake profiles and chat to women.

FFS the men need to be responsible for their own actions... this whole blaming the women if she wants a shag/ doesnt want a shag/ gets sent pics/ hangs about in coffee bars....
its ridiculous.
Men need to take some of the blame instead of attacking women.

OP posts:
Remotew · 16/08/2009 23:14

beenplayed, come over to the fit, interesting thread, next time you need advice or to vent. Hopefully there will be a next time.

We are a nice, non judgemental bunch because we are in the same boat, mainly.

Remotew · 16/08/2009 23:16

Hamber, Blanking happens sometimes wherever you meet them.

oneopinionatedmother · 16/08/2009 23:18

if you have his phone number you can try googling his number - if it comes up on other sites you can get an idea of how bona fide his persona was.

scaredoflove · 16/08/2009 23:18

what the OP is describing is really very very common. I too have had knobs arriving in my inbox on a regular basis. Most men, on many sites just want to swap pictures/go on webcam, it's very annoying. Just recently, I was emailing someone and finally gave out my msn....we were online at the same time 4 times, each time all he wanted was to see a webcam. Each time, I said I don't have one and he would disappear. I mailed him to tell him not to contact me again. It's a regular scenario unfortunately

I'm not into 'cyber/phone' sex, nor have I sent pictures and encourage it in any way, I just wanted to point that out as the OP is getting a bit of a hard time for that aspect

Original poster
beenplayed · 16/08/2009 23:19

hamble - interesting about your friend.

It does seem to be like that now.... i dont know why, maybe because there are more dating site and its a lot easier? maybe because people are putting them selves ' out there' a bit more.

The whole 'dating' thing has changed loads in the last 10 years. At least 50% of people i know met there other half online. AND its not only divorced women/ sad loser men... have a look, all the younger ones do it too.... people dont see to have the time to meet people in the old fashioned ways anymore.

ANyway, - i should get to bed, got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow... its a full time job you know.. .deleting all those cocks that come in my inbox!

LOL

OP posts:
Original poster
beenplayed · 16/08/2009 23:28

thanks scared

yep - its a really really common occurance.
LOTS and LOTS of blokes on these sites do it.
Not just on the free sites too, you get just as many on the paid sites.

AND

you can chat to a guy for a while and you think hes not like that.. you give him your email and WHAM! theres a cock in your inbox!!

OP posts:
Remotew · 16/08/2009 23:31

tbh I've never had a pic of a cock in my inbox . I did experiment with cyber sex once, in fact he was online tonight trying to persuade me to do it again, it's not for me so I told him so.

scaredoflove · 16/08/2009 23:31

also, I am happy with one nighters/no strings and I normally go meet the ones that haven't tried to put on webcam/send knob shots/talked dirty. They are the ones that get my interest and the ones I have my fun with.

The former just turn me off them

Remotew · 16/08/2009 23:36

Well me too, but the cyber sex one was just for that. I had no intentions of ever meeting up.

Normally if someone calls me 'sexy' in a text it would put me off meeting him, far to forward.

Original poster
beenplayed · 16/08/2009 23:45

see - he didnt call me sexy... he didnt type in text speak.
He didnt start by sending rude pics.
he started off being nice and totally seduced me with his words.
OMG! it would have taken a will of steel not to have reacted to that. Its also been a while and i just thought ' why not'. TBH i was just as much to blame and certainly no innocent bystander. I cant pretend that it was all his fault at all. It was great cyber sex/phone sex. Had an excellent weekend. Was just a bit miffed when we didnt actually get to meet up.

Normally any messages i get like that or the ones that give out phone numbers/email/msn i just delete.. along with the lame ones that say hi, wanna chat. Beacuse you just KNOW what they are after.

OP posts:
Original poster
beenplayed · 16/08/2009 23:47

scared - good for you!!! LOL

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 17/08/2009 00:55

Some people like phone/cyber sex and bottle out of actually ever meeting (admittedly this may be because they are married/ugly/actually a sentient cardboard box not a human being). the OP's cyberwillywaver may have thought that she was not actually real. It's annoying BP but shit happens. Neither he nor you are bad people.

BitOfFun · 17/08/2009 01:14

beenplayed, I know you are feeling defensive, but you can't really post about how women are just as entitled to express themselves sexually as men, separate love from sex etc etc and then call someone who disagrees with how you go about it a "skank" and say that you haven't had as many partners as some posters...either you think it's ok to judge someone on their sexual behaviour or you don't- which is it?

And expat "I least I got laid"- ROFL

catwalk · 17/08/2009 01:26

This happens to my mate all the time. She is always getting pic sent to her of blokes cocks . Then they back out of meeting up with her. Must be the new thing. Trouble is she would love to find that special someone , but afraid blokes who do that probably do a ' round robin' of there cock for all the women they have on the go!

purplepeony · 17/08/2009 06:55

Quote "yep - im a single parent.
I dont get much free time at all.
Im not interested in a relationship at the momment, dont have the time or the inclination tbh.

I dont really want to be trawling the bars looking for some bloke i might fancy.

What i do want is a guaranteed shag on my one child free day a month. I dont want to talk to him, i dont want to go out, i dont want bloody flowers, i just want sex."

Why don't you hire a male escort? Seriously- it might be a lot easier than trying to find a shag on the web with all the complications involved and mis-matched expectations.

Original poster
beenplayed · 17/08/2009 08:04

Im not going to pay for it!
also, i said earlier, im quite picky ( although it appears not picky enough!)

Bitoffun - i can call her what i like. She saw fit to call me desperate and fucking sad. Wouldnt you also think that a woman as liberal as she claims to be wouldnt be so harsh juddging?
I totally stand by what i was saying, i wasnt the one that started the name calling.

OP posts: