Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

FAB & GLAM 10 - Gosh, Do We Really Talk That Much???

1000 replies

Dumbledior · 26/07/2009 21:51

Hi, new thread

Lovely to see all the old posters again. Don't go now you are back.

Annie/UC/MHIS - lovely to see you and thanks MHIS for the FB chat.

OP posts:
Tanee58 · 19/12/2009 15:05

Hi TFM - I am just about to start my email. Yes, AlAnon was a bit confusing, but they were very supportive. I shall deffo go back - only the next meeting isn't till January, because of the way the hols fall, and I feel I need a meeting NOW. I felt great afterwards, very positive, was going to put up my tree and make a Christmas for myself and DD even if only for a couple of days, then all that was dispelled last night. This morning he said he was feeling guilt. Will he anything about it? I doubt it. I was soooo looking forward to some days to myself. Ah well...

TimeForMe · 19/12/2009 15:38

Well Tanee I would suggest that you continue with your plans as if he wasn't around. Let him be responsible for himself over Christmas and don't let him spoil things for you. I have a feeling that his not going to his mother's is a result of the chat you had with him, I think he will be reluctant to go anywhere knowing how you feel about the situation, he is scared that you will enjoy yourself too much while he isn't around and realise that you really do want him to leave. Not buying a ticket and blaming you because you won't lend him your car is no only manipulative it's downright disgraceful! He is thinking of no one other than himself, not even his poor mother!

ginnny · 19/12/2009 17:37

Have a look at this site Tannee. They have online alanon meetings and you can also chat on the forums.
TFM is spot on as usual, I think he doesn't want to leave you and dd to have a nice christmas without him as you might just realise what a downer his prescence is and not want him to come home at all.
I'm hoping this bloody snow doesn't interfere with my journey on Monday. We've had about 8 inches here and nowhere is gritted at all. We are expecting more tonight too. I hate it! I've already had my work christmas do cancelled and I'll be so mad if I have to cancel Monday too

Tanee58 · 19/12/2009 23:18

Thanks Ginnny, I will look at that site.

Yes, DD & I intend to have our Christmas as planned. Maybe what you and TFM said is right, though the way he was talking last night, he said that he WANTED to go, had wanted to for the last 3 years, but it was MR who was keeping him trapped by refusing to sell up. Well, now I'm TELLING him to sell, but he still claims I am putting strings on. I do strongly suspect he'll do nothing on his own volition, to sell or move out.

Still, I have had a great day at my parents, DD and I decorated their tree and it was fun finding all the old decorations, including some glass baubles from our very first tree in 1962. It was only a tiny tree, but I remember the magic. . I'm now going home to Mr Misery, but after some good strong advice from TFM, I shall make a little Christmas of my own in the spare room.

Really hope the snow doesn't keep you or anyone else away on Monday, Ginnny. We've still got a bit in the gardens here, but the main roads are free. Horribly icy pavements though. Hope to see you all on Monday at 5.30.

HappyWoman · 20/12/2009 17:16

Just reporting in - we have massive amounts of snow still. Not sure if i am going to make it tomorrow at all. The main roads seem pretty clear but most of us in our road cant get our cars off the drive as there is a slight slope.

I also have a wine order from tescos tonight - bet that is cancelled too!

Will update tomorrow when i know what the weather has done overnight.

Anniegetyourgun · 20/12/2009 17:18

I made it out for some shopping earlier today, but it is indeed very icy (and I live in what is supposed to be one of the country's hot spots!). Fingers crossed for you HW.

Diormissesyouall · 20/12/2009 20:26

I will not be there girls, sorry. I went up to London on Friday, for Mark's Christmas do and, although it was fun, waiting for buses etc made me so cold. I really don't want to do the whole journey again, especially with the trains being silly (snowflake on line etc).

Please can we do another one, when the nights are light and I will be more likely to leave the comfort and warmth of my house!

Have a lovely time though.

LilySwalLoosHerTurkeyBaster · 20/12/2009 20:37

Hey all have a lovely evening tom!!
Tanee so sorry he is being such a nightmare. Glad to hear you and dd are going to plough ahead with your plans regardless , have a lovely night ladies!

Tons of snow here!!!

ladylush · 21/12/2009 11:53

I've got similar problems to HW - our road is an ice rink and drives are all on a slope. I've been out this morning with a spade (while dd sleeps) trying to clear the drive and road. Exhausted! We're all getting over a cold so this cold snap is most unwelcome (had to take dd to hospital last week as she had a bad cold and wheeze - luckily not a chest infection but catarrh narrowing the airway). Anyway, still intend to come. Will probably look stressed and frazzled as I have to negotiate the handover of ds as well as negotiating the icy roads with two dc. Joy
Tanee - shame dp (not so d!)is not going to his mother for xmas. I hope it doesn't spoil yours and dd's xmas too much. It must have been lovely getting out the old xmas decs

ladylush · 21/12/2009 11:54

Dior - sorry you can't make it. Maybe an Easter or Summer meet up? Hope you have a lovely xmas with dh and ds

ginnny · 21/12/2009 13:11

I've just heard that our station is closed!! I'm hoping it will be open again by 4.30 but if not I'll have to cry off too.
DP has offered to drive me to the next station along the line in his truck which is sweet of him, but I'm a bit worried about getting back home again later.
Will keep you posted (Tannee I think I've got your number, I'll text you to make sure its the right one)
Bloody snow!!!

Tanee58 · 21/12/2009 13:22

Dior, really sorry you won't be there - you could have stayed over with me, to save a cold journey home . Yes we must definitely meet again when the weather warms up.

LL & HW I really hope you aren't iced in. Ginnny, hope you make it too. It's bitter cold out there, but I am so looking forward to a good laugh with you all tonight. I shall have a small packet of Tetleys on our table

One of our elderly neighbours has been walking up and down our road with a packet of Saxo. Very public spirited. He's such a love (he does a great cat-sitting service, too ) - would that all men were like him...sigh...

I've spent a fortune on 'treats' for DD and me over Christmas - some extra pressies for her (since I'm not giving 'D'P any until he's done something to deserve them) and some nice fluffy cushions and a throw for my room, that we can snuggle under while watching tv, leaving DP to himself downstairs. His mum phoned last night, and guess what, he told her it was due to ME and a misunderstanding about the car, that he may not make it home. Honestly, I could spit!

Tanee58 · 21/12/2009 13:46

aaargh no. Now PC can't make it. This is turning into a disaster!!!!!!!! Annie and LL - I am counting on you!!

TimeForMe · 21/12/2009 13:56

Hi everyone I'm praying for a fast defrost of snow so that you can all make the meet up tonight. We have a lot of snow too but it's beautiful outdoors, it's very cold but the sun is shining. I've been doing my good deeds for the day and helping people dig out. I'm shattered now though!! I'm going to lock the door and pretend to be out

Tanee, make sure that you tell people the truth about DP. When people tell you things he has said don't cover up for him as this is enabling him, make sure you tell them the real story. How dare he blame you!! I'm pleased that you seem to be looking forward to your Christmas, I am sure that you and DD will have a wonderful time. Sod him!!

Anniegetyourgun · 21/12/2009 14:01

Weather's looking a bit dodgy tbh, but I'll give it a try. If you don't see me, blame the rail services...

Tanee58 · 21/12/2009 14:26

Annie noooo! I'm going to be a lonely little teapot . It's raining here now, am hoping it's spreading....

TFM you good person, I'll bet you have tons of Saxo! Yes, I am going to email his sister and tell her the truth. As I said before, I have nothing left to lose, and I am NOT going to be painted as the bad person destroying his family Christmas!

ladylush · 21/12/2009 14:41

Bugger! It is snowing here My mum is on her way back from London and said services are disrupted I don't want to let you down Tanee but if this snow continues I won't be coming because don't want dd out in the snow with her cold. Don't have anyone's number to text but will try and log in again in an hour.

LilySwalLoosHerTurkeyBaster · 21/12/2009 14:58

Oh no praying for rain so you can all make your meet up!!

ginnny · 21/12/2009 15:18

Well its raining here and the snow seems to be melting fast thank God. I've just phoned the station and there is a train at 4.20 so I'm going to jump on it and hope for the best.
See you soon!!!
K

TimeForMe · 21/12/2009 15:24

Not Saxo Tanee, Rock Salt. Just used the last of it in front of a guys car wheels to get him out of a spot. DP is going to be delighted, NOT! I am totally totally shattered. The Asda wagon couldn't get down the road to our house and the driver had no intentions of helping me to carry it all. Just as I was wondering whether to shout at him or cry a man appeared with a 4 x 4 and drove it all to the house for me

Good for you Tanee, I am so pleased you are going to tell his family what it going on

I'm supposed to be having a pre Christmas party for my children tonight but it's not looking hopeful that they are going to get here. Hope you guys have more luck. Rain is good as long as it doesn't freeze. If you go out Tanee take your Saxo with you!

Tanee58 · 21/12/2009 15:40

Good luck Ginnny, c u later. Looks like it might just be thee and me! Just hope the restaurant doesn't try to charge us for 12!

TFM, just fired off a long email to DP's sister - I just hope it doesn't sound like I'm going insane too!

Tanee58 · 21/12/2009 15:41

TFM _ haven't any Saxo, but I do have a packet of Tetley's with me - will tealeaves work?

ladylush · 21/12/2009 15:48

I have to admit defeat The snow turned to rain so was hopeful but it has just started snowing again and this time is heavy. That, combined with delays to my train service, combined with bringing the dc on the journey.............I would have to be mad to consider it. Instead of getting ready to go out I will wait with broom poised to sweep the snow once it stops so that it doesn't ice over the drive/road I diligently cleared this morning. What a disaster Tanee - hope annie and ginnny can make it and that you have a lovely evening. Really disappointed I won't be there

ladylush · 21/12/2009 15:51

Tanee - am sure the restaurant will understand. Though clear in London they will be aware that the suburbs are getting snow. What a cheek of your dp to blame you for him not being at his mum's for xmas Though tbh do not know why I am -

Tanee58 · 21/12/2009 16:00

Ll, sorry not to be able to meet you, but I understand. We must rearrange something once the weather's better. I have a birthday in February - mind you, when we had a birthday meetup, the weather was FOUL!

Yes, I was furious about DP but not surprised. He's no longer capable of taking responsibility, or else when he does, it's done in 'I'm a bad person, you don't deserve this' mode. That's the insanity I'm living with!

Anyway, I hope Annie makes it, and Ginnny and I will warm our hands on my packet of Tetleys.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.