Bless you
As you've realised, you're supposed to feel "wrong" and have been subjected to a highly effective, slow-burning campaign to get you feeling that way. Here's something you can do about it, starting this very minute. Focus on YOU. Your kids, too, of course, but I'm sure you already do that!
What do you feel like doing tomorrow? Who do you want to talk to? How are you feeling about yourself right now? Need a haircut? Want a pedicure? What do you want to watch on TV? Don't want to go for a romantic meal with your unromantic H? Tell him.
Keep this going ... how about next week? Half term, any things YOU would really love to do with the kids, and with your friends who have kids? Keep it going ...
Next time you find yourself stressing over "him", what "he wants" (or doesn't want), or what's "annoying him" - switch your thoughts right back to yourself. Your aim is to treat your self with unconditional love Obviously, you're not a horrible person so, when DH moans about something, you can respond with sympathy: "What a shame" and "I'm sorry to hear that" should cover most occurrences. Is the ironing piling up? Sod it, as long as the DCs have clean clothes, all else is marginal DH moaning about it? Try "Oh, yes, you're right, could you do some ironing when you have a minute?"
You get the picture. You have an amazing brain, and a glorious complexity of emotions ... Take them all for yourself, he's got his own to look after
Good luck. Good luck. Take care of you, really.