My DH are very happily married and have been together 8 years now and have two DC. We rarely argue and we get on very well. We also have a great sex life. All in all we have a very solid relationship. DH is a very friendly guy and makes friends easily and gets involved in lots of different projects where he meets new people. He set up his own business last year which is going well and as part of it joined a local networking group. He met lots of people there but became particularly friendly with one woman who he invited out to the pub with his friends a few times. She is 15 years older than him but when he met her he said to me that she looks very good for her age and is what his friends would call a MILF. She has three kids and is divorced. I met her a couple of months after he did and she seemed nice enough if a bit of an attention whore around men (the sort who wants everyone to fancy her). She had a boyfriend at the time who was 19 years younger (they broke up a few months ago) and she is clearly into younger men. Anyway 2 months ago I came home from work early and she answered my own door to me. Wasn't bothered by this as I had told DH that I was on my way home so there was no dodgyness on his part. Apparently she comes to our house every Wednesday to help him do the reports for their networking group. This made me a little uneasy but didn't worry about it. When she went home DH told me that she has told a friend of his (one he introduced her to) that several of the people at their networking group thought they were having an affair. DH thought it was funny but I was a bit upset and asked him why they might think that. He said that he always gave her a hug hello (no biggie he does that to everyone) and they always left together and went to have coffee and gossip afterwards. I said I didn't realise they had coffee alone together every week and why hadn't he mentioned it. He said it never occured to him and it wasn't a big deal. I festered on it a bit and told him that the whole thing bothered me and was starting to worry me. He got a bit upset that I had doubted him for a bit - which I admitted I did but then decided I trusted him and was sure nothing was going on. He said he would stop seeing her for the coffees if I wanted but thought that was "a bit sad" if I wanted him to stop. I said no it was fine but I felt I should have been aware of it. Anyway that was all forgotten but since then I guess I am wary of her and notice everything she does. Like I saw an email from her where she calls him "thmelly" i.e annoying babytalk for smelly. She also says "hello gorgeous" whenever she sees him. She came round the other day (he had said to her on Facebook "fancy popping over for a brew?". I heard him answer the door and she said "hello gorgeous" then saw me and said "oh hello" as if she didn't expect me to be there. There are a few things like that which make me very wary of her....
I am probably being over dramatic but would this bother anyone else?
DH found our his mother was having an affair when he was 11 by accident and it broke his family apart. He has never really forgiven her. He has said before to me that an affair is unforgivable and you only go elsewhere if something is wrong in your relationship so you should deal with your problems or split up in his eyes.
I really, really don't think anything is going on but this woman is really starting to bother me.
AIBU?