Aww Kitcat, don't worry any more about what he says about you talking to/going to al anon. I was really worried about telling my DH about going the first time; I almost didn't go in case I would come back all red-eyed from crying and he would see. I was advised here on MN just to go because it's not for him or even about him that you're going - it's for YOU and no-one else.
I told my DH that I was having a hard time with his drinking, which he could see because I would nag, cry, get angry, go silent etc etc every time he went near a can of lager. I asked him if he could see that I was going mental and he said yes, he could see that 'something' was bothering me. I told him that I had been doing some reading and been on an internet forum and had realised that my problems with his drinking were MY problems. Not his problem and in fact nothing to do with him.
I told him that I realised that he didn't have a problem with drink, I did. Then I said that I needed to learn how to stop focusing on his drinking and start focusing on making myself feel better, and to do that I was going to start going to al-anon meetings.
I also told him I had read a codependency book and realised I had issues with drinking long before I even met him (true) and that if I didn't go to al-anon and learn how to deal with my feelings then I would end up continuing to take it out on him whenever he had a drink, which wouldn't be good for either of us.
Once I had been to the first meeting he did kind of ask whether I had talked about him. I told him the truth - we didn't talk about our alcoholic, we just talked about ourselves, how al anon was helping us, and that each person at the meeting would stand and 'share' experiences which helped others, like how he or she had dealt with a problem that week and then how he or she felt that al-anon literature or meetings had helped them to go about the problem that way. My DH could see from day 1 that I was feeling a lot better and so he never had a problem with me going.
Try not to feel bad about his 'little crushed face' because it may be this that helps him to actually see that he does have a problem. My DH actually cut right down on his drinking from then on, without me discussing it with him. I still can't believe it as I thought the minute I stopped nagging him he would take that as carte blanche to just drink all the time. The opposite has happened and I'm still stunned.
I am learning to let him make his own decisions and mistakes. I have learned that if he does come in late and drunk it's nothing to do with me and I am learning to let him deal with the consequences of his drinking (I don't get up early to set his alarm for work while he's sleeping any more for example - he has slept in once but now he always makes sure to set it himself).
If he does say 'it's all your fault' you just tell him that you don't make him drink. You can tell him that you don't like him drinking but that from now on you're taking nothing to do with it. I told my DH when he was sober, that al-anon recommended I don't engage with him if he's drunk and that if/when he does come in drunk and start annoying me I will leave the room. I've only had to do that once and he didn't follow me to annoy me in the spare room (he did swear and moan but he didn't follow me!) and the next day of course he didn't remember anything - the difference was that I was in a good mood as I hadn't put up with his drunken gibberings! The whole point is to make it so that you just don't take anything to do with it.
Once you're feeling on an even keel, some time down the road, THEN if he's still drinking too much you may be in a position to decide whether this is what you want to live with. I think my DH has stopped getting really drunk purely because he now realises that I have more self-esteem and that I could actually leave him at some point if needs be.
I hope my ramble has helped! Lots of luck. Spend time just looking after yourself. I just stop and think "what do I need to do right now to look after myself" when I'm feeling uptight/upset. Oh and well done for speaking to the al-anon counsellor! :)