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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

following on from the what are you good at thread - blowjobs

138 replies

namechangenamechange · 10/01/2009 21:38

Yes I know it has been done to death and I remember reading ExPat's tutorial on here once about the perfect BJ, but I can't find it now through search.

A couple of people on the what are you good at thread claimed to be especially skilled at blow jobs and I'm after a bit of advice. I am rubbish at them, I mean really awkward and bad. Please help. DH would be so happy if I could just get the technique right and neither of us has any experience with anyone else to bring to the disucssion (childhood sweethearts).

Please help and offer your hints and tips Thanks!

OP posts:
Remotew · 11/01/2009 01:13

Hi pan. xxx

poshwellies · 11/01/2009 01:14

have fun ,huh nite you!

BitOfFun · 11/01/2009 01:14

While we wait for expat, Pan, give us the dadsnet view? Pleease

Pan · 11/01/2009 01:15

morning eve!!

expatinscotland · 11/01/2009 01:16

For blowing a man?

Well, there will be a lot of your spit running down your right hand as you do it. If you do it well.

But he's not going to care.

expatinscotland · 11/01/2009 01:16

For blowing a man?

Well, there will be a lot of your spit running down your right hand as you do it. If you do it well.

But he's not going to care.

Pan · 11/01/2009 01:19

well, BoF, I am not really that bothered about bjs.. I DO adore "unsalting the bacon"......>...but bjs are nice to help 'her' feel a little bit dirty in a good way...

expatinscotland · 11/01/2009 01:19

i love giving them!

they are the ultimate power trip.

Remotew · 11/01/2009 01:19

Stop it expat, yes pan it is the morning. xx just realised.

MeandEva · 11/01/2009 01:27

I want Expats tutorial!

BitOfFun · 11/01/2009 01:28

We need links!

Hmm, pondering on what unsalting could mean - DP seems to understand though!

CuddlysBumLooksBigInThis · 11/01/2009 01:33

I can't really say I enjoy giving blowjobs but the appreciation I have received when I have 'gone the extra mile' is a bit of a turn on in itself.

I used to put a bit of enthusiasm into it for a while before he came in my mouth then pretend sometimes that I am overcome with lust and just have to move on to the next stage.

I don't have the problem now, being single and all.

Must remedy that.

expatinscotland · 11/01/2009 01:33

Well, use your hand as well as your mouth and tongue.

If you are right-handed, get your right hand round the base of his shaft.

Put him in your mouth and let him go stiff if he's not already.

There's a spot a bit under his glans that is a bit softer than the rest of him. Your tongue will easily feel this.

Start to move your tongue, layed flat, and your hand in tandem.

Keep the same amount of pressure and don't worry about the spit that's going to build up and go down your hand!

Put just a wee bit more pressure on that soft spot under his glans with your tongue as you go past it.

Remember, your hand and mouth are moving together. Your hand goes up as your mouth does.

Relax your lower jaw! That's why there's going to be some saliva/spit there.

When you feel him start to go seriously hard, DON'T LET UP! Keep the SAME pressure and tongue movement.

Don't take him out and flick his glans round with your tongue like in pornos.

He'll start to push harder in your mouth.

Exhale and let the lower jaw go even more slack.

Get him WAY to the back of your palette.

And swallow, swallow, swallow.

There, was that nasty enough?

Practice makes perfect.

Do it with him sitting in a chair watching you and have him coach you through it.

Lots.

Pan · 11/01/2009 01:34

it's a guy thing, BoF......you don't need to know......

MeandEva · 11/01/2009 01:35

OMFG - I bet your dh fucking adores you

expatinscotland · 11/01/2009 01:36

I love it, I do.

Pan · 11/01/2009 01:37

reminds me.

The difference between lust, love, and showing off?

Sucking, swallowing, and.....gargling.

expatinscotland · 11/01/2009 01:41

PMSL!

No, love had nothing to do with my swallowing, I must say.

Sometimes, it was just all about the challenge.

'I've never cum that way before.'

'Really? Well, you never met me then. You just lie back now and make yourself comfortable there, hun.'

Pan · 11/01/2009 01:43

I DO need to close my eyes now. night you lot.

CuddlysBumLooksBigInThis · 11/01/2009 02:02

Expat, I am not worthy.

S1ur · 11/01/2009 02:10

Expat you are of course a super fab cocksucker and I mean that in the most complimentary of ways

I think I speak for many (who looked around somewhat randomly for objects with which to try to follow and practise your descriptions fully) when I say....

Could you perhaps run a class? I have stationary and can make homemade lemonade for it if needed.

Failing that, perhaps Mumsnet could include a tutorial in the revamp.

CuddlysBumLooksBigInThis · 11/01/2009 02:13

Good idea Slur! I could bake muffins....

Twoddle · 11/01/2009 02:29

I'd second Expat's technique, and needing to enjoy giving a blowjob; wanting to do it. And the power trip.

I'm right-handed but use my left hand in sync with my mouth, and my right playing with balls/perenium/bum. The soft, super-sensitive spot to focus on is the frenulum, here. Lots of nice, steady, rhythmic pressure here.

Unlike Expat, I do pause when the tension is really mounting and do a bit of interim teasing - kissing, licking, etc. Has worked for me/him. And I don't swallow. It makes me gag, and my deal is if he'll eat a teaspoon of it, so will I. No takers as yet. Hasn't been a problem so far though - technique seems to have more than made up for it. 'Tis quite wonderful to have that effect on a fella. Bloody shame I have no one to practise this talent on at the mo, though.

Make it a bit of an event, and have fun you!

TinyWhiteFeather · 11/01/2009 02:37

Roffling...new years resolution not to post anything I regret next thing in the morning , but I really really needed something to make me smile and this thread has definately done that!

Insomnia does have its good points.

Thanks......

namechangenamechange · 11/01/2009 11:07

Ha Ha - Went to bed before seeing this thread pan out and forgot all about it till this morning.

Thank you to everyone who offered hints and a deep bow of respect to ExPat who is a legendary cocksucker indeed.

I shall try all this out very very soon and hopefully impress DH with my new-found skill

OP posts:
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