Snooort at QS coming back to lecture commnet on how MN hasn't been a very nice place recently. In this, as in so much else, you are rather out of step. The general consensus is that MN has been a vastly nicer place since The Exodus.
DB, I'm sorry that you were upset by this thread and the other one. It sounds as though you are feeling a little tender at the moment.
FWIW, while one or two comments on this thread were pretty robust, I don't think that the general tone of those who disagree with you was actually unkind (and particularly not PW who as always was reasoned and measured in the expression of her position.)
The new orthodoxy - that women who engage in sexual behaviours previously considered to be expressions of misogyny are not simply the pawns of said misogyny but are engaged in a politically-neutral act of sexual self-expression - is not so solid as to be unchallengeable, and many of us disagree.
While you might make a sharp distinction between burlesque and pole-dancing, for others they are points on a continuum. The subject of your OP seems to acknowledge that burlesque is not necessarily a straightforward matter, since your DP doesn't sound very keen (though perhaps this is for very different reasons).
There is a long tradition of vigorous MN debate on this subject - I'm sure you've seen it yourseslf. The 'Antis' are accustomed, by now, to being called prudish for expressing that position. It would be a huge shame, I think, if we were to seriously consider before posting, for fear of being flamed as unkind.
The general rule is that threads about threads are Not On, though, and I agree. But I think that we should distinguish between that second thread, and people just disagreeing with your position.
I do hope that you'll come back soon.