I told DH I wanted to learn BURLESQUE dancing and didn't get the reply I wanted!

[Dragonbrandybutter]

I found a class locally.
A one day workshop.
I thought it would be a giggle.
And i'd like to know how to do that tassles thing

Anyway, he said, 'have you finally lost your mind?, that's for old women with self esteem issues'

i told him not to be so negative and that I would have preferred him to be a little excited about it.
we haven't talked about it again.

but i still want to do it.
now what?

It's an interesting issue. I suppose my problem with things like this is that female activity always has to be mediated and conform to rather exacting specifications in order to be considered sexy - dressing up, special underwear, dance moves that you have to attend a class to learn. Whereas men are regarded as sexy when they just do the normal things that men do - wear trousers, bend over to pick up remote controls.

I'm not saying that women are never considered sexy when in their normal clothes or going about their normal business. But you can't deny that this fetishizing is something that is applied to women MUCH more than it is to men. That's my beef anyway. If there were poledancing classes for men, male burlesque performers, peep-hole underwear for men, entire departments in shops dedicated to see-through underwear for men... I'd find the whole issue much less problematic.

rofl at sexy trouser-wearing and remote control-picking up men!

I totally agree and the sterotypical role of a woman as submissive ( by going along with this dancing crap) and lookigna certain way.

While obviously no woman should feel she has to engage in sexual display when she doesn;t want to, I always find it depressingly unfeminist for women to use such abusive language (slaggy, fat, old) towards other women when they express any kind of sexual feelings or want to engage in any kind of sexual display.
Isn't it more misogynistic to say that only young, thin, 'pretty' women are allowed to have sexual feelings, or express them?

harpo (BTW did you see that I found that record I was looking for??)

It's from Twinset's posts further down, in which she said that she regularly throws the remote on the floor so that she can watch her DH pick it up.

Burlesque isn't about being submissive. At all.

Nor is it prescriptive in how performers look.

BIG difference between burlesque & pole-dancing.

does he have good bum cleavage then?

had forgotten about that - what was it?

the record, I mean

It was this. Hoorah!

Hijack over, sorry folks.

I think that a grown woman writhing around a greased pole is a parody of sexual liberation, not an example of it.

Is this the way to indicate it? NOw is porn the only way for women to equate themselves with men? Is it not enough to be smart, funny or successful?

well maybe i like to be smart, funny, successful and sexual.
why shouldn't i?

oh sod it, i'll grow a beard and join a freak show instead then.

Burlesque tends not to feature grease. Or poles.

it is infuriating isn't it ravenAK

love it, pw! thanks for introducing me to a new tune

FWIW this will be my last thread on mumsnet.
I'm done.

I do understand what holidaywonk is saying about objectifying, mediating women's behaviour and so on, but I can't agree. It seems to me that, much as solidgold says, it is rather unfeminist - or, at least, unsisterly and patronising - for women to tell other women that their choices (which, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, we must assume were informed and free) are silly and misguided.

As I see it, if dragonbrandybutter genuinely wants to learn burlesque then it could well be an empowering experience. In the context of the bedroom and not the public stage, it might just be fun - a benign way to inject some novelty into a relationship.

no-o. this was a GOOD thread - I don't think t'other one was meant in malice...bad judgement maybe?? OP will prob be back and all ed in the morning after she's struggled out of her victorian nightie.

Oi DB don't be daft matey.

WHo says there aren't shops full of sexy, revealing clothes for men? Ever been to Regulation or Inner Sanctum? Men on the fetish scene, and to some extent the swinging scene, often dress up and display themselves (or strip off and run around naked), do tricks and perform for women's enjoyment.

Dragon - Don't go! I thought we were on the brink of reviving the MN Orchestra!