weird

[T464]

This is weird ... and have been thinking about it for awhile... here it is:

Desiderata: "You know you want to ... grin"

yes!! I TOTALLY do!!!

I;d LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear some feedback on him more directly -- since no one else I know around here even really knows him and I don't really know too many others who know him (difficulties of long distance!)

oooh, I am soooooooo tempted.

I wonder if it would be bad? . . . .

I remember when I first met the guy and I felt all strange because I was not physically attracted, but we'd already kind of started a relationship long distance and I thought I'd give it a chance (then the sex -- wwow)

Anyway. i talked about it with an older friend of mine. She met him in person and was 'blown away'. She thought he was just "gorgeous" (I thought -- oh man! She should have met some of the Italian boyfriends, if she thinks this one's good-loooking!) Anyway. She told me I needed to get my eyes checked. SO I thought I'd give him another try.

arghh.

Guess physical attraction in this case didn't lie. Or rather. It is what it is!

Ahh.

That's it. it just is what it is.

One thing I noticed, though, the guy couldn't really smile. You know -- like a FULL on, BIG_old SMILE!!! And A BIG OLD Belly laugh!! You know? He could not do that and I always found that to be a bit odd and suspect. He had the same kind of frozen grin for photos.

Looking at him now, I do see there is something sexy about it (don't know what that is, but there is something).

Still the smile-thing always got me. Full smile seems more like open-heart to me. Full laugh also. Frozen grin ~~~~ ehh.

Amazonian wrote: "My bloke thought he was a buffalo. In fact he was a rat with a gone-wrong willy."

LOL I don't know . This makes me crack up EVERy time!

too funny.

This whole buffalo thing is really cracking me up!!! OHHH!! Tooooo funny!!! LOLLL

Binglejells wrote: "Amazonian- trying to buy friends with money is another big sign of N, and it's done with other people's money in some cases. Also, being superior to others and having to have the best of everything is a sign I recognise.

It's good to read all this and realise that I haven't been going mad after all, I've just been with someone who makes me feel that way. I hope this thread can help others to recognise the signs of N before they get in too deep in the same sort of relationship."

Wow! The buying friends with money thing - and added to that the whole first year or so this guy, my guy talked REAL big about all this money he'd had and was going to make and ALL the stuff he was going to buy for me with it. Sounded like a lot of fun it was like this massive ABUNDANT fantasy of total wealth.

In reality I am NOT interested in it and would often tell him so. I did not want all that and all the trappings. it does not interest me. I am interested in spiritual growth, etc. Living modestly, but very comfortably and with freedom would be LOVELY.

But he would go on and on about mansions and servants and hummer limousines. Like arriving at the opera house in a HUGE big-ass hummer limousine or something. (sounded horrible to me. I did not like the idea at all) .... I figured I'd cross that bridge when we got to it.

Alas, here we are....

wonder if he impressed young woman with all that kind of talk. She told me they had "plans".

All the Showering and Showering your naked body with tons of dripping golden liquid wealth I suppose is very seductive. This is a guy who seems to know how to live very large and likes to shower women with it.

I must say, some parts of it (not over the top) are very comforting and loving and allurinng ....

And then if someone actually isattracted to the ostentaeous wealth. well.

I guess Italian man had the looks. And this guy's got the wealth (or at least the semblance of it!!!) --- maybe he hit dry streaks when he was sleeping on friends' couches and I was perhaps the only one there. Although I wonder if I was ever ever the only one there.

Could it really all be so simple as fitting neatly into the picture of narc.??

This is weird -- just taking all these things I've held inside for SUCH a long time and writing them all out there into this forum.

the other day I was wondering why it's taking me so long just to let go of or get over this or even think of letting go of ....

then I realized. Seven years is a LONG time! That's practically a PhD program!

That's like a child trying to decipher, distill and figure out the events of everything that happened from 4th grade to 11th --- from elementary school all the way through middle school, into High School!

That's crazy -- that's insane! That's a LONG time! A lot of STUFF. Many conversations. it's just lots of stuff.

All my other relationships were a matter of months. It'd take me a matter of months to get over them.

This was the longest ever and the most BIZARRE experience of my life. so --- Ugh.

I hope and pray I survive it. I hope and pray I come out the other side, whole and in tact and better!! I hope and pray I remain sweet and kind and I want to trust!!

t4,
My best friend could have written your post about 4 years ago.
She was waiting for him to come home, and he just didn't.

She has found it hard, as there were a thousand unanswered questions.

At least you are out of it now, and he is now anothe woman's problem.

Good luck, and maybe some counselling to get this processed in your head...

hi all! need a break. not sure when I'll be able to log on again! Thanks to all (for now)!!

~ k.

Gosh, I must say.

Is he also a member of the Illuminati?

Check his address book for ambigrams.

Bloody narcisststs. HATE them. Use to work with one. They stressed me out that much i went on tablets. NO JOKE!

He sounds like one and so does she.

God i hated her so much i wanted to kill her & im not a bad or violent person.

Often had me thinking WTF and what planet are you on?
But they twist things so much you actually question yourself and if you have the problem and not them. Am i over reacting kinda thoughts even tho you know their behaviour is very very very very ODD.

Anyone that has you thinking "THEY ARE WEIRD" Chances are they are narcissist.

Best to keep well away. They proper f**k ur head up. Sounds like he already done that.

Sadly for me i am on mat leave & have to go back to work with this narcissist in a few months time

jadey24

There are a few books now about corporate narcissism. This is becoming more recognised now as it is seen that they wreak havoc in organisations.

Have a look at Amazon.

Is there someone at your workplace you could have a chat with about this person? HR dept or something?

Take the book in with you, or print off something from a website. There is no reason why your health should suffer by having to work with this person. Have you said anything to anyone at your workplace about the effect this person is having? I assume they affect others in the same way?

HTH xxxx

I have already complained before i went on mat leave coz i ended up with severe stress and had to go on beta blockers..
They are just plain evil bully's.
Anyway they had backed down and were fine before i went on leave coz they got a rollicking coz it wasnt just me who had the problem and others had complained over the years.
But still just being in the same room as her makes me physically sick with rage and anger coz they are just NASTY NASTY work.
Selfish, ungreatful, me me me me me its all about me i am better then everyone, im in charge off everyone, do what i say or i will have a HUGE emoitional over the top 6 year old paddy fit even tho i am a grown women.
Listen to me ALL the time coz its all about me no one else. I What ever you have done i can top it coz i am just the best bla bla.
Sorry had to get that off my chest.

LOL @ J24!! Hope you feel a little better now!!!

The thing is, if you have been made ill by another person, and other people have complained over the years, your workplace should be doing something more concrete than giving that person a rollicking.

You could possibly sue your workplace for making you ill, or constructive dismissal or similar because you have to leave through stress.

Is there no way you can work away from this N? So that you can have minimal contact with them?

It's useless anyway giving an N a rollicking...it can go one of two ways...it can make them much worse...or it has absolutely no effect whatsoever and they are back to their evil default position before you can say 'emotional vampire'.

Wot a Prick

T464 I know that you must be really hurt and angry. But wotever U do, keep being U but obviously just be a bit more careful.

Take Care Hun xx

I have seriously thought about leaving the job once my mat leave is up but it leaves me out of work and that isnt good and of course these days jobs ent about as much and i have to work.

I know i was concerned she would be much worst after but i was a lil suprized at how long she kept it up the niceness. But i dont trust her one bit. She is very decieving and mannipluative. I have been on maternity leave since may so i ent seen her for over 6 months now so will be interesting if she will be back to normal with me again.
She will charm the pants of you to get what she wants frm you be it a favour or summit and soon as she gets it she back to shitty self and chucks you in the gutter till next time. I fell for it the first few years but of course i wised up to her big time and no whats coming.

I did stand up to her once coz i got pushed too far ( and this was after 3 years of it) and told her to f off and that shut her up but it didnt last long. ( untill the rollicking)

See how she is when i go back to work. Thing is now i am a mother and i have big responsibilties ( she has none) and i dont have time or patience anymore for pissing about and attitudes. I have more important thing to worry about so i dont take no crap no more. I made a vow to myself that i will not let her treat me like s**t again.

She isnt well favoured in the work place and nxt time i will take her to tribunal which my doctor told me to do if it carried on. ( which is yet to be seen)

Hello Jadey

I don't know if it will help or not, but I always try to think of my Ns as half-humans. If you can detach yourself from the fact that they do not act as a normal compassionate human being would act, and you never expect them to act that way, then that goes some way to managing your expectations of them.

I appreciate that in a work situation this is not always possible, but if, as you say, your doctor will back you up, then you have the upper hand here.

Also try to write down everything they say. Ns are pathological liars, and eventually they will trip themselves up.

The usual scenario if you have a N as a boss is that they they tell you to do something, you do it, its not what should have been done, or it goes pear shaped. You say 'well he/she told me to'...they say...'no I didn't'...and who gets the blame?

This has happened to me! And many others! Nightmare!
xxx