Hi again T464. My N simply stole all our money without a sngle remorseful thought. H drained our savings account of ten grand and drained our overdraft of ten grand leaving me ten grand in debt which i am now in crisis over the bank with.
I had worked my arse off all my life, never stopped since leaving Uni, had a very good career, university and post-grad educated, and he decided to vanish 6 months after we had produced a son together. He also abandoned his two daughters aged 9 and 11. They will be affected even more badly possiby, than my son.
He flitted abroad, and is now living with another woman. Told a pack of lies. has lied his way into a teaching post. he has chosen to live in a third-worldish country that has plenty of free and available sex and is full of perverted western men. Good luck to him I say. I hope and pray he never returns.
He too is privately schooled and university educated. He was charming, knowledgeable and a freak of the first order. I knew instinctively always that something was just not right. i should have listened to my gut instince but like gettingagrip says, I was too well trained.
yes he made me feel I was the mad one. He secretly recorded rows we had where I do all the rowing and he remains utterly silent.
I found a video on our camcorder yesterday, taken last christmas. He is filming the food ffs!! he is talking about the cheese board and the year of the wine we drank...he is panning slowly round the table at the half-demolished turkey and the cheese board again...and only eventually does he tilt up to find his wife and new born son sitting there...his voice sounds disconnected, he is acting the words...then he returns to filming the cheese board.
These people have no true emotions. They just know the words to use and when they have been rumbled or you are no longer idealised by them, they drop you like a piece of dog poo. And steal from you without a backward glance.
He left me totally reeling, feeling mad, insane, with no money, no job, a small baby to care for, and had told lie up on lie about me to his family (mind you it is a weird family that can produce this sort of a man so I am well rid of them too)
I too questioned and questioned if he was an N - I couldn't quite believe that sensible hard-working media diva moi had got entangled with such a warped bloke. That I actually MARRIED this one...because yes, there were others before him.
I am the child of an N and possibly two N's. But it has been so liberating to make all these discoveries - it has been like a thousand lightbulbs going on at once.
You are so much better off without this half-human - there is 'something of the night' about them. They infect people around them and they go on to repeate the cycle of behaviour and ABUSE which is what it is until, hopefully, they are old and have lost their charm. Many of them commit suicide.
This is the first day of the rest of your life. Give up trying to understand. Don't bother beating yourself up for getting involved. Be very very glad that he has discarded you and moved onto his next victim. You have lived to tell the tale. My H nearly bloody killed me! I mean emotionally and mentally....
I am so much better now and sing and laugh that I am alive and well - massively in debt and still not well enough to work - but alive and I have my wonderful son. We are doing just fine.