Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

that "stuff" was based on lack of information. Notice once I was corrected with additional information I no longer made such comments....

However I would say someone you barely knew except for brief chats at the pub (where people are most likely under the influence of alcohol and by closing time, also most likely drunk) is a relative stranger.

It seems to be the pub that is the crux of the problem - had they been aquaintances who had decided to have a friendly coffee after a choral evening, or a parish meeting at the village hall this would be ok?

What (I believe) some of us are trying to get across is that not everybody lives at such a bestial level - the opportunity for extra marital sex is all around, but IME the majority of people do not have such a tenuous grip on self control that they have to avoid any situation that could be regarded as "temptation". The pub/alcohol/evening aspect is the usual excuse of the Jeremy Kyle brigade to absolve themselves of any responsibility: "Well I was drunk, and one thing led to another..."

and lapin if you are defending someone is so offensive, rude and ignorant, especially about a particulary vulnerable and traumatized group of women, than my estimation of you just took a serious nosedive.

the crux for me is the hour and intake of alcohol (by pub closing time, most likely a serious amount of alcohol). That and the "xmas ornaments"

no one said anything about church.

then obviously I missed it lapin. And once it was pointed out to me I no longer made such assumptions.

Do I need to speak very slowly here?

you shouldn't. so feel free to ignore...

the irony you speak of has been explained.

NoIamnot - no one said anything about church. True. The OP has never said they were drunk either.

The impression she has given is of a man who goes to the pub for company while his wife works.

Everything else is supposition and projection.

I know of lots of people who go to their local pub and are still there at closing time but who are most certainly not drunk nor have they consumed a substantial amount of alcohol. Some of them do indulge in soft drinks and some can manage to make a pint last several rounds (probably so they don't have to get a round in, but hey).

There seems to an assumption on here by some that, if you go to the pub, you consume vast quantities of alcohol and cannot then be trusted in the company of women. How sad.

"to have a friendly coffee after a choral evening, or a parish meeting at the village hall this would be ok?"

church-related activities then....

I also said "that where people are most likely under the influence of alcohol and by closing time, also most likely drunk"

most likely

I'm sure the most likely scenario is that all four were down at the pub till closing time having an innocent chat, drinking soft drinks and then the men decided to have a quick look at Harman's xmas decorations on the way home and have a cup of coffee, not because they wanted to sober up but because coffee is nice at midnight. And they did this not because the possibility of getting laid even entered their heads but because they just really enjoyed harman and her friend's company.

But that's exactly how I'm viewing the situation noiamnot, give or take a bit of alcohol. Going to the pub doesn't necessarily mean getting drunk, a man doesn't only talk to a woman so he can get laid. Not in my experience anyway.

harman, your OP was asking what DWs would think and I would think my DH was a fool to go back to someone's house.... and whilst I trust the man he is human and if I didn't know you I may think you were after my DH. I may imagine you are the most desirable woman he had ever met, I may think lots of things....
The point is a man that goes home after the pub (again who is watching the children?)is less likely to cheat than a person(either sex not just men) who goes back to a single person's flat.

that's nice harman.

that's nice harman.

The man in question has grown up children, and Harman has a house not a flat.

I actually have plenty of married male friends, none of whom are old and none of whom I would invite back to my house after the pub to look at my xmas decorations.

lol @ me being old....

Not read whole thread so appologies if this has been said before

That is a beautiful pussy on your profile Harman

NoIamnot - the scenario you have described sarcastically and with such bitterness, sarcasm, and spite - is in all probability spot on. Genuinely. The OP has indicated nothing else. Adults enjoying company, conversation - nothing sexual,twisted or devious about it.

The pitiful thing for you is that you can't envision such a scenario - what a grim life you must have.

I didn;t say that everyone who gets cheated on has been a whining paranoid control freak who won't let his/her partner speak to other people. I said that people who are whining paranoid control freaks usually get cheated on or dumped and deservedly.
And dittany, single and married people are not separate (and homogenous) groups any more than footballers and non-footballers, vegans and carnivores, Leona Lewis fans and people who actually like music... etc. Whether or not you have a partner doesn't affect your ability to engage in conversation, hold down a job, decide for yourself how to spend your time when there is no need for you to stay indoors.

there'e a big difference in engaging in conversation, and going back to someones house late at night....i think it might be called respecting your partner?

I find it interesting that the op can make a viscious personal attack and yet not feel the need to apologize.

I am not bitter or spiteful in the least. You are putting your own issues in here. I have already stated that I have never been cheated on in my life. You have absolutely no idea what my personal circumstances are...

I have not called anyone names or been malicious in any way. I sincerely find it highly doubtful that any man, single or married is going to want nothing more than to look at xmas decorations with two single women after midnight once the pub has closed. I find it more than reasonable for married men to have friendships with single or married women. I can even envision this scenario being completely innocent if this was a long-term friendship but it isn't.

The op asked for opinions. If she only wanted ones that agreed with her than she should have stipulated in the op.