Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

Here here CliffRichard......

I'm not labelling you at all.

& whatever local agreement you have with your dh is absolutely your business.

But you are right that we don't all have to share the same views.

For me, if I was capable of having a civilised coffee - or all-night whisky drinking sesion, for that matter - with a platonic gentleman friend in 2003, there's no reason that I can see why I can't now. Ditto dh.

(Who is atm round at single female bandmate's house...)

Fine for that particular scenario Raven, but we are responding to the scenario that the OP described.

Does the single female bandmate live in a flat?

Sorry, I just noticed you said 'house'.....so that's alright then....whew....

ah, but does single female bandmate have shiny baubles ???

Hahahaha, pissing myself laughing!!!

I'd imagine they are both glossy & pendulous, yes .

As for the original scenario - if dh happened to be the married man admiring Harman's baubles, then that'd be fine with me.

I do wonder if it's ever occurred to some of the more mentalist paranoid 'you can;t ever speak to anyone! YOu're MARRIED!' types who bleat in defense of their antisocial tendencies that they have 'been cheated on' - that if you behave with this much deranged suspicion and unreasonable panic about any kind of human interaction, that might be why you get cheated on or at least frequently dumped?

and we're the ones who are hysterical....

again, there is nothing wrong with married people socializing with single people of the opposite sex.

But after the pub closes, late at night? To look at "xmas decorations"?

please....

santa, I seriously suggest you go and impart that particularly useful piece of wisdom to all the heartbroken ladies on the many "cheated-upon" threads that litter Mumsnet

this thread is downright nasty at times

noiamnot, again I agree with you

Santa, why no "witty" riposte ? Have you been over to the "cheated-on" threads and told them how they keep getting it so fucking wrong? How their mentalist paranoia is driving all their cheating dp's into the arms of other women?

I would say your last comment was the nastiest and lowest comment I have read on mumsnet tonight (and I have read a few).

santa makes an interesting point though

I suppose I could take the other "side's" pov more seriously though if say the "behaviour" being highlighted as risky/inappropriate/bound to lead to a shag was, say, peeling off one's clothes when the said neighbour was inspecting the baubles and presenting him with a variety of flavoured condoms. Or similar.

But Dittany: it was a group of people - THREE of them - popping round to the op's house for coffee. If the plan had been group-sex-wrapped-in-tinsel the OP would have mentioned it initially. And it is certainly true that forbidding your partner to socialise with other people without your written permission is usually a pretty good way to bring a relationship to a speedy conclusion (unless you have hooked up with someone who is equally dysfunctional and desperate, I suppose).

it must feel pretty desperate to imagine everyone is at it when they deliberately spend time without their partner

agree dittany.

'Single' people and 'married' people are not atually two separate homogenous groups. Some married people can spend weeks without seeing their partners, yet their marriages are perfectly happy. Some single people don't like to let anyone in their house who isn;t a blood relative.
Who are some of you to say that a man who you've never met shouldn't be allowed to stay out because it's past his bedtime?

who said anything about bedtime.

you don't win arguments by putting words into other people's mouths. You just display how ignorant you are.

Nothing wrong at all Harman as far as i can see.
When I was single (and child free)I used to often have folk back to mine after the pubs shut.

I had loads of friends, and many were men who were married.

great fun. Brings back happy memories and I envy you