Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

I think you are all projecting on to Harman

1. your bad relationships with your dhs / ex dhs

1. your own lack of trust in yourself in a given situation with a male

ah but daftpunk if cluedo was on offer....

oh i would, but i'd probably make it strip monopoly

and i would want to be the boot

There was no flat in this scenario, no lone man with a lone woman, no monopoly.

There were 4 adults who were drinking coffee and chatting.

if there was no monopoly, can i at least imagine there was a bit of keys in a pot/pampas grass outside/ barry white on the stereo, kind of atmosphere?

I suppose they might have turned the lights off so they could see Harman's Christmas illuminations in all their glory .

"Nope just "We can be friends but there's going to be no after hours at my place unless your wife is there too". "

saddo

in fact, saddo who thinks that man would only want to be with a woman for a shag = very low self esteem.

ever heard of the pankhursts?

can we just please all take a moment to ponder this

WTF?

snort @ surfmum

and shalt be written in stone that a single man shalt not socialise with a married man lest they be confused with each other's motives for socialising thus forevermore single person shall ever be convivial towards a married person nor married person be friendly to a singleton from the point of marriage or the determination of single status.

Has it not occurred to anyone that poor old Harman might be the gooseberry in all this? That single man (or indeed married man) might be interested in UM?

And I do love the fact that a flat is synonymous with unlawful shagging. Presumably a house is only for faithful, loving relationships and children .

Not, of course, that there was any unlawful shagging or any suggestion that there might be. Many of you seem to have made a massive leap from an after-hours coffee between four adults to affairs and serial shagging. What does that say about your minds??

Let's all pounce on Harman, shall we - the wanton hussy?

She asked for ADVICE, not a public bloody stoning.

Insecure bunch of harlots.

harlots

alors, if you had read this thread properly, you would see that any criticism has been aimed at the married bloke

not Harman

Wow - look at that big hairy lie you just told fucker

I don't actually see why the married man should be criticised. I don't think anyone out of the four has done anything deserving of criticism.

But then I don't view (most)men as walking dicks either.

Vis a vis reading skills - I dont think it's the reading that's the problem. It's the u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d-i-n-g thats an issue.

Ok, so let's u n d e r s t a n d and all speak very slowly and patronisingly to each other shall we?

Aren't we missing the point somewhat? Harman asked for advice on a particular situation. She didn't ask for a lecture on whether married men are prone to lie and cheat, or on whether platonic relationships work, or on what constitutes being a harlot. She described A situation and asked for opinions - now that those opinions are divided, her friend appears to be having a go at those who bothered to answer the OP. Well if you don't like the replies then don't do the OP!

I don't care what male friends you all have, or how wonderful and trustworthy your partners are, or how many of you trendy and pc things have "gay" friends - ooeer how very 'today'!

I gave up some of my time to answer a request on ONE particular situation. Now I'm wondering why I bothered.

Though of course reading some of your eloquent and amusing posts makes it all so worthwhile!

yeah, bugger !!!

I will never get this time back again ! Never, I tells ye.

< sobs >

I'm wondering if those who find this scenario wildly inappropriate married quite young, or have been in serial monogamous relationships all their adult lives?

(That probably sounds sarky but it's not meant to - I'm just too knackered to re-phrase it)

For me, coffee & chatting after the pub is an absolutely routine thing to do & has been since my late teens.

Dh & I married when we were respectively 29 & 33. It would strike us both as totally peculiar that we should suddenly be disallowed from the sort of perfectly normal socialising that we've both always done.

Of course not LL! My my I would have to have a giant ego to think they were wouldn't they? LOL! I'm just responding in general to the levels of sarcasm and patronising tones I detect in some posts. No surprises there though eh?

(You learn on MN that if you can't beat them, you join them)

"I'm wondering if those who find this scenario wildly inappropriate married quite young, or have been in serial monogamous relationships all their adult lives?"

There you go, highly presumptious. Just because you view it so Raven, doesn't mean to say that we should all share your views or be labelled as prudes who keep our dh's on a tight leash.